h e a l t h y s e l f

i mean... okay
cred: ig / nayyirah waheed

I saw this today, and it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks:

(photo credit for this & all the others today: Instagram)

The past several months have been a challenge, on a grating spiritual level. I've been wrestling my deeply-rooted demons, that are exactly as old as I am. They were born with me - part of my human nature, and over the course of my life, have expressed themselves at different times, in different intensities. They're a part of who I am, both good and bad, past and present. I have a hard time saying no when I should, and a propensity for trying to wash out stains I didn't create, for people I shouldn't be touching. I tend to cripple myself.. a lot.

Most recent soapbox opportunity for this: Relationships! (....great).
Where these fickle things are concerned, my track records looks like it's been searching for sunlight on the sea floor for the last decade+. A fun thing I did just recently, was stay voluntarily rooted in one with the most narcissistic person I think I've ever met, let alone dated. The ultra-abridged version says that it was umm... a learning experience, that culminated at a dramatic midnight apex involving assault and cops and 3/4 of a week in jail and the revelation of [his] sidechick in Denver. Really sterling stuff, from a guy with whom I just frankly should've had nothing to do in the first place. It got a lil' messy. And I got OUT. //the end.

Why do I bother with it? Because as I've said many times over, this blog is just as much for my own later recall, as it is for well... anything/anyone else. I want to look back at this entry and be able to feel exactly as grateful on that day, that I do on this one.

And I can say all of it with something of a lighter heart NOW, because 3ish weeks ago when all of this happened, I was met right in the middle of the mess by the small but impassable detail of my closest friends who hedged me into a safe space and waited to ask questions after they were certain I was okay. They helped me put out the immediate fire, and walked in step with me.. figuratively held me by the elbow as I tripped over myself a thousand times in the next week attempting to get walk a straight emotional line on my own without falling apart. When you are physically assaulted by someone, whether you are a man or a woman, your senses go into a tailspin that will settle only when you are truly ready to allow it.

An anecdote to it: In my case, this wasn't "bad," as I would classify other cases. I wasn't hospitalized. I wasn't permanently injured (or worse), but I was still harshly reminded by others after-the-fact that those details still don't matter: what happened is not okay. It's not acceptable (agreed, of course). But that's the part that, if left unaddressed, becomes its own cancerous ivy that chokes the air out of even the idea that this was not, in fact, my fault. He made a choice to cross a line. That is not my fault. What I have been holding myself accountable to, is the fact (to me) that I knew better. I know better. I'm not a teenager with white bread for brain cells. I know better.. than to make excuses for someone else's red flags. That's so far out of my pay grade, and in this context, an absolutely valid case of 'Not my circus, not my monkey.'

So the first two-ish weeks following that had been me just being mean to myself, honestly:

I should've known better. 

I saw this coming. 

Yes, there were red flags. 

No, I am not really all that surprised. 

And a lot of *Sigh, I really just don't even know....... . . . . .   .   .   .       .       .       .

Ya know? 

The dust is settling, almost to stillness now. Of the things that have taken root where fire cleared the brush, the most impressive is the very clear, diamond-cut appreciation for the other relationships in my life. I've had most of them this entire time, but it's one of those situations I can only liken to the sensation of dropping a really heavy lopsided suitcase, that you'd been carrying by a broken handle, in your non-dominant hand. #letitgo

And the internal conversation has changed:

I did know better, but I also figured it out, and got out. 

What happened wasn't my fault. 

Red flags don't make any of that okay. But I AM okay. That's a win.

Ya know what? You're too blessed for this: 

Dust yourself off and try again (name it.... lol)

And a LOT more of *Sigh, I seriously have the best people in my corner. 

ig // postmodernpaul

Whewwww. Yes.

Fast forward to this week: It's Thursday evening and I'm home on the couch with my daughter as she reads one of her books, and I dug into one of mine that's new - a gift:

♥♥♥♥

This book was given to me within the last week, by someone I've loved in varying degrees since I was 18. He became an integral part of my life then, and recently, after nearly 16 years, has dropped back into my orbit, thanks to a universe-wielding God who clearly knows each of the souls that need to surround me. This one walked back into my life as the friend he's been for years, and for reasons unknown, volunteered as tribute to help bear the mess of me being at war with myself after this.. thing.... as I made my way out of the dark black hole where I'd been kind of hanging out for way too long. He's the [type of] person you dismiss from your life when you're young and stupid, and realize 16 years later that you must've done something you clearly don't remember, to merit getting the second chance of having him back. And you catalog that among the other things you've learned the hard way recently... and you're grateful for that thing called grace, that you know you don't deserve. ♥

I didn't make it more than 20 pages into this book without noting a handful of gems already.

this is one of my favorite sentences of the book (so far)

I've never heard of this book, but it's beautiful, and is brined with the passionate intentions of its author: surround the reader with a soul-feeding love: the kind of love that should drive every relationship - both laterally and internally. From what little I've read so far, I can tell this was written around the vulnerable state of the human heart, with space to safely step forward one foot in front of the other, trusting that each step will be met with love, in some form.

And I love it. I've spent the last few days for lack of a better term just... reveling.. in the gratitude that I can't seem to contain. It's a terribly good problem to have, I've found. For the better part of last week, I was in Oklahoma City with one of my wonderful coworkers, downloading best practices to maximize our impact in helping the people we're servicing. Before that, I spent a weekend decompressing, laughing, climbing & hiking in the Red [River Gorge] that could not have been more perfect. I've had lunches with friends, real hugs with people whose smiles reach their eyes, who care without agenda, for my well-being. Late night conversations with family and friends over a glass of wine, remembering to allow myself to feel the light they seem to see in who I am. Celebrating my daughter turning 10, with her cousin who is just one week older. Experiencing the difference between being loved through the lens of manipulation, versus the complete freedom to bring all of my truest self without the anxiety of being chastised, changed, or rejected for it. Recognizing for the first time in far too long, the spark in that happy little weirdo staring back at me in mirrors.

It's a terribly good problem to have. ♥

I found the nugget of advice earlier to write about the thing that frightens me the most. I was reticent to share any of this on a public platform, for fear of brandishing my vulnerability to an audience. For fear of subsequently being cattled into one some pre-defined statistics group of women who make it out of abusive relationships. Of being labeled or discounted somehow. I hesitated for fear that an anonymous audience might have negative feedback. And THEN I realized that that is frankly none of my business.

And so now I'm here, just.. in a stasis of raw contentment that I haven't felt in months - the kind that is too strong to ever be hindered by a single toxic person. One that's not punctuated by round after round of the mind-poisoning that happens when you allow a narcissist [teetering on borderline personality disorder] to take a driver's seat in any area of your life, let alone a relationship. What scares me about that? I'm terrified to think that it could have gone on another six... seven... eight months, and who knows if I would've ever mustered the gumption to leave, despite knowing better? THAT is terrifying. For me, I can speak to it now, for many reasons including but not limited to just knowing that's no longer where I am. It's not how this - how I - am going to turn out. For the record though ladies (&gents!), just umm.. make sure you're on top of those self wellness checks - ya know, the deep heart kind. I know I could've used a few thousand more.

And so I am happy. I'm at peace. I'm content with the course I'm on, debris-littered as it might be in places. And I'm forever grateful for all of the people who've made it a point to walk beside me, love me, hold me accountable, and remind me that while this defines how I'll move forward, it does not define me.

"I would like to talk with you about things I care about that others do not care about because they do not care about me, and hear you care, not because you care about me, but because you care about the things I care about." 

It's a terribly amazing problem to have, this gratitude. ♥

Happy Friday Eve, friends.

xo | cmd 

Attitude of Gratitude

Confession: I still to this day misspell that word almost every single time, not excluding the time just now when I typed it as part of the title for this post. #consistency #gratitude #nodoubleTs

So I sat down at work this morning and instinctively reached for a pen and a post-it note. It's something I conditioned myself to doing once I started back here at the East office, and is a practice that I've been on-again-off-again consistent with over the past couple years. Okay, so maybe more off-again, and then just off.... but we're here now so let's just stay here. :) I had very good reasons - a long list of them, actually - to fuel me to keeping a momento nope that's a movie, MEMENTO-style bank of the little things. 

Some were little. Some were pretty big. I wrote one on the sticky side of a post-it on whatever day it crossed my mind, folded it up and dropped it in a jar on my desk, where the idea was that it would stay with the others until the end of the year. 

gratitudes!
& cairn deco because i exist one sub box at a time, still..... ;) 

^ A small collection, but the truth is, I didn't unearth the jar itself from my office relocation project until the end of August, so I didn't re-start this for the bajillionth time until September. And even then, I don't contribute daily, although it's a habit I wouldn't mind having. 

Before the work day started, I cleared the jar and made fresh space for starting over in 2018. I didn't have time to read them all, but I pulled a few out at random and read them: 

Like I said, all over the place, but I found that if I can slow down for just that moment even, that it takes to write it down and throw it in with the rest, I've given it my attention. I know full well that I take for granted many of the little things that have come my way. I also know that I'll never be able to stop and write every single one of them down in real time. I can plan to, but what I do know is that my plans are more often than not the first round rough draft of what actually happens, and nine outta ten times, I'm glad my version didn't go to print. It's the big things, and the little ones, and whatever happens in between that I'm thankful for (it's cliche, I know, I know.....); I mean that because at the end of it, the blessings outperform the challenges, even if the latter brings friends :). 

So today wasn't a perfect day, but it wasn't the worst one I've ever had, so that's a start. I can't promise I'll want to feel so optimistic for the next 362 days that we've got left in 2018, but I can promise that if I have a reason to be grateful, I'll do my best to recognize it. And as long as I'm above ground, I'll always have a reason ♥.

xo | cms

The Magical Beasts of ..... My Job

Pheeeeeeeew. Tuesday.

If you've ever wondered what it's like in the world of niche skill staffing, allow me to introduce to you the candidate that fits every bullet of tooootally realistic criteria: 

He or she may also look something like this: 

... and will be willing to do an entry-to-mid-level position, despite the fact that he or she has a master's degree, eight years of recent, demonstrated experience and a spotless criminal background. All of which are prerequisites. How does $13/hour sound? 

Today I am so, so thankful for the small cluster of talented ladies who stand alongside me day in and day out as we collectively brave the life that is our job. I have some of the best coworkers this side of the lateral and it seems like the perfect day to give thanks for them. 

It's a small thing, but it's a huge difference in my every day to have such stellar gals in my office.

And I think that's all we need to say today ;) 

Happy TUESDAY! 

xo | cms 

Back to Reality

I came back to work today, strangely enough ready to get back. The sense of familiarity and normality was oddly comforting in its own way, and when I sat down at my desk for the first time at 7:15 today, I almost felt refreshed. Go figure.

It helped that everything I'd ordered in recent online shopping ventures was delivered in my absence, and sat neatly stacked in a pile on my desk for me: Dad's birthday present, a couple of decals I needed, some of Sydni's LoomBand accessories and these!

color run swag! ;) 

^^ Nevermind that I ordered them on Monday of last week and paid extra for 2-DAY SHIPPING; that's something I'll deal with later. I'd been confident I would receive them by Friday, in time for the actual event, but after having attended, the likelihood of my actually having worn them was about 0%, so minus the extra $6 for expedited delivery, I'm not really that mad. After this weekend, I've determined there are far fewer battles worth fighting, anyway. So yay, CR gear! :)

I was surprised at how non-confrontational the day was; it seemed as though God had specifically instructed the forces that be to remain at bay, for fear of my total unraveling as I clawed my way through switching gears from the weekend's events to life at my desk.

[image cred: instagram @pocketfuel]

Still baffled by the smoothness of the day, I gratefully accepted Jessica's invitation to dinner, but not before we met up with her to pick up the newest addition to her studio:

rower rower come on over! 

I'll see this little guy the next time I'm there at her studio!

So dinner it was, and lounge it is now. We're ready for FRIDAY!!

xo | cmd

In The Midst of It All

I took a walk this morning. The first thing I thought when I woke up was that I needed, desperately, to get outside, touch my feet to the earth and reconnect myself to it, to the circle and to the Creator. I stopped and sat for a minute, just outside the cabin, and prayed. There isn't enough gratitude in my body to fully express the way I feel today. 

Rob slept through the night just fine, with minimal pain. He went to bed with arms and legs fully in tact and functioning. He has no back injuries. Aside from the visible damage on his face, his head is fine. He is damaged, but he will be okay. Most importantly, he is still himself, but now with a heightened sense of awareness to his own vulnerability. 

But he is still here. He is alive, by the grace of a God that I will never fully understand, but praise and thank daily for the blessings - both big and small - that somehow find me, despite my (our) undeserving state. 

I called off work today. Our first task as a group was recovery of all the bikes; we visited two separate places to get Rob's, then Dillon's. 

there she goes... 

TO THE OFFICER WHO TOLD ME YESTERDAY, AT AROUND 2AM ON THE PHONE THAT ROB AND HIS BIKE WERE ESSENTIALLY TOTALED, YOU OUGHT TO BE CAREFULLY RECONSIDERING YOUR OATH TO HONESTY. You do NOT tell someone's family member a course of events that did not happen, your certainty in the matter stamped only by the status of your badge. We were told that Rob's bike was a complete lost cause, and that upon impact, he had flipped off the bike and into the unknown at that point. 

Does this look like the aftermath of a bike abandoned by flight?! 

bikes going to illinois

 No, it doesn't. 

No.... it... doesn't. Urgghhhh

The guys managed to get her up and onto the trailer, with the help of the backyardigans's flatbed. Sidenote: Here in TN, it's very lucrative to own and operate a tow business out of your house. These guys are pros at it, and if I should ever find myself living in this region, you can go ahead and know now what business I'll be pursuing.

We headed back to the cabin to do the final pack-up of our things and get all 3 bikes situated on the truck and trailer, before saying our farewell-for-now's. Dillon, Matt, Courtney & Cadence took off back to Illinois, while Rob and I made our way back here to Knoxville. We stopped at Panera for lunch, and started formulating a plan on what to do for the next couple of days. As it turns out, we'll be stuck here, since on such short notice, we aren't able to get in to any Cincinnati facilities for the surgery he'll need on Wednesday. Womp womp.

Rob found a hotel on Expedia, and long story short, we're here now, checked in and planted here for the next two nights.

The consultation appointment is tomorrow. I'll put this prayer out in the blog world for tonight: for confidence, easy nerves and painless completion of the whole ordeal.

See you in the morning!

xo | cmd

Not The Plan...

It was late last night before my head hit the pillow. It's always a strange sensation adjusting to an empty house; even the dogs weren't entirely sure if making noise and ruckus was the way to go for the evening. They were snoozing long before I climbed into bed for the night, but it wasn't about to stay that way.

I was somewhere in a dream, when the soundtrack of my phone ringing started cutting in. I don't know much about the dream states, but I know I've been there before, doing some random dream activity, and the sound of an alarm clock or a ringtone becomes surround sound, and there I am, in a concert blend of dream and reality.

And then I woke up, to Rob's call that he'd wrecked his bike. It was 1am. I'd been asleep for probably just shy of 2 hours at that point, but I was awake in no time. In the 40 minutes that followed, I gathered what information I could from Rob and Matt on the accident, and was bags packed in my car on the way to Tennessee.

Five hours. Five hours driving, texting and calling Matt with updates. 

Rob is at Leconte Medical Center in Sevierville. Dillon was not involved in the accident and is okay.

Rob will be transferred to the trauma unit at UT Medical Center in Knoxville. 

Rob has been transferred.  Matt texts back. Jesse texts back.

Matt is meeting Courtney halfway between Kentucky & Illinois to get his trailer for the bikes. 

Rob's mom calls. His dad calls. Becky calls. Matt calls. My mom calls. Jesse calls.

Calls. Texts. Driving, driving, driving. I'm relatively good at keeping calm through things like this, and for some reason, I had a strange peace about it all even as I navigated through the mountains in the dark. I was over halfway through the trip when the sun met me to rise, and I pulled into the hospital in the golden light of early morning, into a front row parking spot of the garage just outside the main entrance.

My heart broke when I walked into his room. I've never seen him like this, even though I know he's been in situations of mishap before. I've never experienced it, not until today, and I can boldly say I am not a fan.

:( 

Now, as with every other hospital I've ever been in, when you want or need something, you've gotta speak up. It's not being rude, it's just a fact of life. You're one of many in that place, and they'll get to you quicker if you just ask. That's the part I hate, as I'm horribly nonconfrontational about these things. However after arriving in his room at 9am, the clock turned over to 1:30 pm and I decided it was time to pipe up. My requests were met with polite smiles and promises of attention which were fulfilled within the hour of my asking. I had faith in the UT Med Center staff :)

The trauma surgery team came down to do an assessment. Then the maxillofacial team came down. A doctor explained to us the extent of the damage as shown by x-ray, and their intended steps to correct and mend. He began to suture the gash in Rob's nose, while I opted to wait in the lobby.

I came back to find a semi-mended Rob. His face still held the damage, but at least now it was contained, both aesthetically and on the scale of pain. We began our discharge, and after eating some food, made the walk together out of the hospital.

look at those snazzy socks.. haha

I stopped to fill the prescriptions, then continued onward for the 45ish minute drive to the cabin the guys had rented in Gatlinburg. The prayers I said today were that of gratitude, for safety and for healing. I know the next few days aren't going to be fun, whatever they hold. We're not even sure yet.

Walking into the cabin, we met Dillon, who looked as exhausted as I felt. Within the next half hour, Matt, Courtney and Cadence arrived with the truck and trailer. We made dinner and sat down, each at the end of his and her daily energy supplies.

It certainly wasn't how I'd intended to rendezvous with these friends, but we're here together regardless, and it's a nice spot in a cloud, if that makes sense.

Tomorrow, we'll leave this cabin and decide if the next few days will be spent here in Gatlinburg, or if we'll be heading home. We'll see. We'll see.

For now, gooooood night, world.
And Lord, THANK YOU for all that You are and give to us. We are so, so undeserving of Your mercy.

Amen..

xo | cmd

Stop For A Minute... And Just.. Look.

Because when you stop and look around,
this life is pretty amazing. 

- Anon.

Today I am grateful for the eyes that saw this sunrise this morning. 

I am thankful for the ears that heard not only the sounds of the city, but the sound of the breeze. 

I am thankful for the nose that smelled the morning lifting off the ground when I walked outside. 

I am thankful for the sensation in my body - the chill of
morning air and the warmth of sun on my face.

I am thankful for a heart dedicated to God, who created this beautiful picture for us all to see. 

I am thankful. I am whole.

Happy Thursday ♥

xo | cmd 

BRAKE For Tuesday ♥

Today was one of those days that flew by at mach speed, but when it ended, I could barely put its contents in the right order.

And it hit me like a brick:

[Thank you, stock photos... haha]

But seriously. Today was the blur of a blur, and my head started spinning without my consent. It was a bad day by any stretch, but I found myself leaning into that natural tendency to feel as though I should start planning and preparing for tomorrow, before today even ended. In some cases, that's needed, but today, no. Today I needed to step back for a moment and recognize the fact that I've got it pretty good. My life's a far cry from perfect, but it's not lacking anything that debilitates me by its absence. I have less than many, yet more than most. There are things I still want, places I want to go, people I long to meet and experiences I dream to have, but if I just..

.... slow...
.... down...
... & just...
........ BE... for a moment or two, I realize that those things are dreams, yes, but the reality is just as beautiful and not worth missing out on.

I can only assume that this is God's way of tugging on my soul to put the brakes on my mind for a moment so that I can realign with every big and small blessing that sits right in my lap as we speak.

So it's Tuesday and I'm... happy. Relaxed, confident and able. :)
I hope you are, too.

xo | cmd

Atlanta Bound!

No, not me.

A couple of weeks back, I received a random phone call: It was a student from Miami University [Oxford, OH, ya'll..], with the Farmer School of Business. She is apparently pursuing a path in marketing, staffing, recruiting and whatever other elements are tied into that degree. At the time, I honestly found it mildly inconveniencing, as the call happened right in the midst of a few high-priority things.

She seemed eager to learn about what we do in the world of recruiting and staffing, and I was immediately reminded that there was a point in time when I had the exact same questions. As it stands now, I love my job, so who was I to shrug off the opportunity to help someone wanting to pursue this type of role?

Anyway, it was probably a 5-minute conversation that came and went in the flow of the rest of the day. I received a nice follow-up email after that, and thought that would be the end of it.

Then this came today: 

(:

It's not much to some people, but for me, I'm pretty daggone excited for this girl and her team. Who knows if she'll remember her college trip years from now, but I hope she does and that she lands the job she's pursuing with her degree!

Good luck, Miss Alex!

Give a little back to the universe, friends. You may hear from it again, and you may not. Either way, just do it (:

xo | cmd

Missions Trip: The Decision

SO, hello Wednesday.
Hello rain...

... and snow.

Basically, hello, Ohio. Good to see you're still doing wel-- just doing. Glad to see you're at least consistently indecisive.

Aaaaanyway...

Today is Day 8 of my 40-Day Lent Letter promise:

day 8!

I've officially been doing this for a full week now, every day, and want to again just take a quick sec to encourage everyone to try this. Maybe not for Lent, but perhaps your own list, for your own reason. I'm a huge fan of the old fashioned handwritten note and this one today reminded me that even when writing to the people closest and often times most obvious to us, there are somehow things I don't know that I've ever said to them.. or at least not recently enough.

It's only been 8 days. I am not expecting anything in return with these, but to know that I'm making one person [hopefully] smile with just a small but sincere note is a very humble reminder of the responsibility we have to be active contributors in our relationships.


reply from one recipient

reply from another recipient

Our impacts are only as big as we allow them to be, but I'm a firm believer that they more often start with those closest to us. That, of course, got me to thinking.

Really, I'm certain I'm being called to do something bigger than [and in addition to] this.

I've just stepped out of a weekend spent with some of the finest friends I have. As it happens, two of my greatest friends both recently returned from separate, unrelated trips of service and mission in other countries. Becky realized her long-time dream of Nepal earlier this year:

becky during the dedication of their
finished project [construction] in nepal



 .. And Marianne is still quite fresh on her return from a missions-based trip to Guatemala.

mare loving on those adorable kids!

It's not that I am jealous. I'm really not. Every service trip has its own purpose, its own timing and its own set of gratitudes to be earned. What I am, is more inspired than anything else. It's not that I don't want to go to follow either of their trips to Nepal or Guatemala, but I do know that we are called to reach our arms as far as we can, and wherever that is, is where I'll be.

My request now, friends, is this:

Please pray for me.

A trip like this isn't something you plan out in a week's time. It's not a weekend getaway or a vacation. It's something to which I must be connected on a raw, unfiltered level, purposed to serve not myself, but someone else. As an internationally-adopted child myself, the very thought of positioning myself to serve in an orphanage is exhilirating, humbling and frankly, a little terrifying. I would love to believe that I have the emotional stability to contain myself in the faces of children who are not in the least unlike I was once. I know though, that I want to, and will be loving with all I have on some people I've not yet met.

The praying [for this] starts now.

The research starts now.

The planning starts now.

2015.

I am only asking now for you to pray for me. Please pray that the direction I choose is a selfless endeavor to kneel at the feet of the Least of These and offer the best of what I've been given, and that by this time next year, I'll be in the final stages of preparation for a trip.

The I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"Isaiah 6:8 

.. And you are welcome to join. Serious inquiries, only. Let me know, and we can pray for this together.

To end the day, I received some rather EXCITING [though at this time, pre-emptive] news from one of these beautiful souls I call friends. I can't elaborate on it right now, but I will use it as a testament that we serve no small God. Hopefully I'll be able to share more about this later, in a couple days or so. Sorry for the teaser!

On that note, the here-and-now of this evening ends with Sydni on one side of me and Rob on the other. This is my family, and this is where I'm happiest. I'm in love with it. Sweet dreams!

xo | cmd

MOVED!!!!

I wasn't really sure this day would EVER come. Hah... it's HERE!

I am officially moved into the new digs. Words can't express how thankful I am for the help of Becky & Mike in transferring all my things from Eastgate to Fairfax. I took off early this morning while they were still at Market to move the smaller things like smaller furniture, boxes, and..... more boxes. Six trips later I had moved everything my little car could fit, and took to the beginnings of unpacking until they were ready.

We moved. And moved. And moved some more. Becky took a slew of pictures from the day, mostly of me crammed into unimagineably-small spaces during the process, but I think this one was my favorite, and pretty much sums up the day..


home!!

I am. HOME. It's such a weird feeling, even after just a month, to have a place of my own again and feel settled. My run of transient existence has come to an end, and while I will certainly miss seeing Becky every day [who really says that has to stop?], and thoroughly appreciate everything she and her roommates did for me while I was there, there's nothing quite like having your own space.

*Sigh. HOME.

We're all spent. This is the last night I'll be spending at Becky's for a while. Is it weird that I have mixed emotions about that? Haha. I think I'm just over-emotional about the whole experience right now. Oh well. I'm settled, and that's what counts.

Now..... for the unpacking.
I've got my work cut out for me... Whoa. Haha.

G'Nite.

xo | cmd

Gratitudes 2013

Yeah, so it's safe to say we got something of a delayed start today after being out for most of last night. It was entirely worth every minute [great show, great company, great time!], but it came with limited activity for the early part of today.

In the spirit of things belated, I figured I would share something I actually saw a few days ago, at the actual beginning of the month. Excuse me for being five days behind on posting, but I think it's an awesome idea and I very well just may go get a mason jar solely for this purpose. It'll have to be a big one, I've already decided, because 2013 is gonna be a loooong, event-riddled year, I can already tell you that.

Really, anything in a mason jar is generally a winning idea, and I like focusing on the things for which I'm grateful, so yeah.. great concept all around.

I'll start: I am... intensely thankful for my job. I work in a position that's faced every single day with honest, driven people who've endured oftentimes more than their fair share of bad luck, who are unemployed. I have the chance every day to directly impact those people, so not only do I have a job, but my job has a specific purpose and a very tangible payback. I am BLESSED.

Anyway, I suppose I'll start doing normal human things today, like moving, eating... that sorta stuff.

Happy January 6th!

xo | cmd