Refreshed

Every so often, there comes a day when my skin feels especially like my own, and I feel an added amount of gratitude for it. Today was one of those days. I'm not really sure what it was, other than that God knows the things I need, when I need them.

24 jan 2017

I was in the middle of a midday decompression (aka, lunch hour), and caught myself in the mirror of a dressing room for what felt like the first time at all today. The vertical mirror lights reflected off my eyes and for a split second, it registered that I looked very cat-like. I laughed and took a selfie, because that's what you do in those situations, right?

It wasn't until almost 6 hours later that I finally posted the thing, and the response I got was a quick but real reminder of how the encouragement I needed would come from a handful of strong, empowering women that I have the privilage to know in both real life and through their social media feeds. Another friend from years gone by also surfaced - one who, as part of an even smaller collection of people, stood by me through some of my weirdest years in college, as I grappled with my identity as an adopted Asian-American. It's not to say that I don't feel good on other days, but even with compliments and positivity trickling back in, I felt as humbled as ever by the notion that a simple selfie could prompt others to speak words of light and positivity.

That's what it is, really. It's the constant flow of negative energy that has clouded my social media feeds. It's the uncertainty for our future that weighs on our shoulders - some more visibly than others. It's the division that we see broadcasted across the country, and the fear that we try our best to swallow or ignore, that we are as a country, heading towards complete and absolute self-implosion. It's those thousands of voices that creep into my head when I least expect them to, and I start to lose sight of my own course and the one true voice of reason that really matters.

I went to the gym with this newly-recovered momentum of confidence, and was approached by another person to share the circuit I was doing. I gladly did so, since it had been shared once with me. Another encouraging moment. I finished an exhausting workout and headed home to a protein bar, dinner and my Bible:

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. ::2 Timothy 1:7::

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. ::1 Thessalonians 5:11::

I know this entry is a bit all-over, but as I've said a dozen times before - I love ya'll, but these entries are as equally for my own reference at any given point tomorrow or next year, when I need to be reminded of where my feet and heart stood at any particular time.

And today I feel refreshed. A little lighter in body, heart, soul and mind. A little stronger. A little better than I was yesterday, and a little more confident that I am empowered to be empowering. My hope is that each of you beautiful people out there can find the same peace, and then share it in your own world.

Good Night!
xo | cms

Cable Work ;)

Here's the exact three stages of my gym time today: 

1: SUPER READY LET'S GO BECAUSE GAINS DON'T HAPPEN IF I STAY HOME ON THE COUCH! 

and also, who's coming with me?!

2: Doing the work. This is one of my favorite little burners, and although I kinda lost count during the video, I would recommend doing at least 3 sets, with 10 walking out and 10 walking back. Deep squat and try to keep your back straighter than I did here :p. The resistance band makes me concentrate on not letting my knees bow in or my feet lance out, and the ankle weights are there because I forgot to take them off before I started. Yes, they look silly and no I don't care....

3: Two hours later, after my legs have sworn off the rest of my body and I almost wrecked twice going home because said legs were too tired to drive...

this is standard for me.

I don't usually post gym-related things, but after just a couple months, I'm feeling the results of what I've done so far, and I'm not about to stop there. But yeah, I'm wiped. ZzZ. 

xo | cms

New Small Group!

We are BACK! It's been far too long since we found ourselves in an evening life group session; tonight was far overdue.

For the past couple months, we've been flexing our wings and exploring a new church, which is being planted by members of our previous church. It's closer to home and some of our closest friends from that church have joined ranks in the planting process. After much prayer and consideration, we decided that exploration wouldn't hurt, and if we wound up planted there as well, then so be it.

lightpoint church!

And it looks like we are taking root. Tonight we attended our first session of life group with the Ricks and several others from the church. I'm always a huge fan of life groups for a multitude of reasons, but I think the first and foremost is that it provides a platform for us to do life with each other outside of the formalities of a Sunday morning worship experience.

Tonight we covered a lot of ground in a series that we're processing through, and as an unexpected turn, I accepted the offered challenge to serve unofficially as part of the content and composition editing team. If you're reading this, please go ahead and send a prayer up for me if you wouldn't mind; a large span of time has passed since my English degree has been applied to something in a professional landscape, if you don't count my OCD grammar, syntax and spelling scrutinization of what I actually do for a living.

So yeah. Prayers appreciated, and tonight my heart is full from the time we spent in fellowship with a fraction of our new church family. If you happen to be in the Cincinnati area, and are looking for a church family that can and will accept you as you are and love you where you are, consider this an invitation to come and check it out:

Lightpoint Church Cincinnati

Good night for now, blogbots! 

xo | cms

It Is What I Make It!

I have a traditionally long-standing love-hate relationship with Monday. I know I'm not alone. 

One of my staff called off today, so the first thing that welcomed me was the unexpected re-arrangement of original plans, postponed until tomorrow. There's nothing quite like an 8AM surprise like that..

(Can we?) 

Since I know that answer is no, I do what the rest of us do: grin & choose to make the best of what is in front of me. And today, that was MONDAY. The good news though, is that in the middle of the madness, we were able to coordinate a FULL HOUR [saywhatomg?!] for lunch, for each of us today. That's saying a lot, because around here, that's not a real thing, so when we're able to indulge ourselves for the full hour, it's a nice change of pace. 

lunch break!

After work, I checked the work load at the door and headed out to pick up my favorite little shopper's assistant: 

notice the sign back there: they're real! :D

Monday evenings at our house are usually uneventful, and tonight thankfully followed suit. We spent the evening being present with each other, and I realized in our little living room that I have everything I need in this rocky little thing called life. My day was challenging, but at the end of it, I'm home, in our house, with my family. It's a side note, but I feel like a drop of gratitude doesn't hurt, especially on a Monday. I have not earned these things, and I do not deserve them.. and I am wholly thankful for them. 

And I am also thankful for the second season of Shadowhunters, which allots for an hour of my Monday evening each week for the next 11-12 weeks now. Tonight we finally got to see MAIA!

maia roberts | alisha wainwright

Yes, yes, YES GIRL.

Oh, and to top it off, after small fry went to bed, Mama got up and went to the gym. I have no idea what came over me, other than that I am fully determined to get back to my college soccer body. I'm not sure if I'll come out on the other side as exactly that, but I'm gonna be close. 

it's not much, but we're workin' on it... #shoulderday

Whew. It's late, I'm tired, and tomorrow is Tuesday. 

Ciao! 

xo | cms

Dogs & Paint

Youuuuuu guyyyyysss.

I walked into church today, and aside from the greeter outside on the sidewalk, the very first welcome we received was from this girl: 

[this picture was after the service, though ;)]

Ya'll. My church has a DOG now, who attends regularly. I would've known this three weeks ago probably, but our annual stint of weekend travel for the holidays has kept us out of our home church for far too long. Somewhere in the middle of our absence, this sweet girl starting attending with her human, and I hear she's going to be a regular. Her name is Sadie, and she is a therapy dog [not to be confused with service dog], and she will sit with you until you are smiling, because that is her day job. And I need a dog like this to sit at my desk and stare at me all day long Monday through Friday until I am doing nothing but smiling, petting said dog and avoiding real life responsibilities.

Is that too much to ask?! ;) 

Seriously. The sun has been MIA pretty much this entire year so far, with the exception maybe of like one or two days, and we've been feeling the effects of this no-sun spell. Everything outside feels like it's the same color, and finding motivation to be productive doesn't come as easily as it usually does when there's nice vitamin D streaming through the house. 

So sunny little Sadie was my much-needed pick-me-up today, and gave me a little extra boost on top of Pastor Chad's message, to go home and do the painting we didn't do yesterday. 

Yes, painting. Our living room. We thought we'd wait at least a year to paint the thing [ok, so it wasn't planned, but we were a little busy last year...]. 

before 

Literally, white walls everywhere in this house. We've determined some of the previous colors, usually by accident; the last paint jobs are still hanging out in patches underneath the outlet and lightswitch covers, and in the tippy toppy corners of the room where the Kilz didn't reach. 

and paiiiinting... and paaaainting.. 

I'll get the finished pictures up once this room is said and done, but hey, progress is progress, right? :D

It's enough for tonight though; tomorrow starts the work day and the work week, and back to it we'll go. G'Nite! 

xo | cms 

Friday the 13th

On a scale of 1 to stereotypical, today was 5 paces past the latter for being a Friday the 13th. My team [at work] managed to make it through the day in tact, but it sure didn't come without a fight. 

Albeit a day of chaos that came in waves, I received my second installment from the Book of the Month club that I joined. The first book, The Sun is Also A Star from last month, introduced me to Nicola Yoon, and I read it as quickly as I could. I promptly wanted to either re-read it, or have a sequel materialize into my lap so I could continue being a fly on the wall to Natasha & Daniel. 

I haven't heard of either of these authors until now, but I am all about it and these two reads look like they'll be quick to finish but long to forget [here's hopin'!].

With the work day finally conquered, I made a beeline home and traded my office pants for lycra and met Rob at the gym. We squeezed in an evening of working out on separate sides of the building before reconvening for a jog side-by-side on the treadmills. 

I'm about to crack open the bigger of these two new books; I'll keep ya'll posted on how it goes. :)

Happy Friday the 13th! 

xo | cms

Work. Oh, Yeah, That Too :)

 My picking this book up is Britta's fault. I want to share the spoilers with everything and everyone within earshot, because I love it so much. Today, I purposefully toted it to work with me, and enveloped myself in a half hour of stillness on my lunch break to continue reading. I'm nearly finished, which makes me sad in its own way, but it's a familiar feeling I have with so many of my favorite books.

lunch break reads♥

With work checked off the day's list, it was time to get home and get back to the gym.
I haven't worked out since 2016. [heheh..] < It's corny, I know, and we're in the first month of not 2016, but the sinus infection that I had last week would've made for quite the scene of me wheezing and eventually/inevitably either passing out or vomiting all over the equipment. BUT, now I'm back, feeling my face again [which is a relic I don't appreciate until it's impossible to do, I've realized], and ready to get back on track with the task of hunting down all.ze.gains. ALL ZE GAINS.

cashed.

Whhhheeew. I'm spent. Not a bad way to end hump day.
We're on the home stretch now - two more days til the weekend! :)

xo | cms

When Tuesdays Play Nice

Yes, yes & yes. 

Today was admittedly much better of a day in general than yesterday, and to add to it, I added another book to the collection. This one was recommended by Britta, and now I own it, and soon I will read it. These are the little things in life and lunch breaks that I live for.

the snow child | eowyn ivey

^ I am taking this slowly, believe it or not. There's an entire ship's worth of books on this to-read list, I know, but what's a goal if not challenging? ;)

Other than another bookstore on a sunny day, I did manage to do some other adulty things too: work, more work, some more work and then a parent teacher conference to top it off.

OH, and today a little birdy chirped that there's a return missions trip to Panama, scheduled for May 30 - June 6. Yes, yes & YES.

Gosh, Tuesday. You're all right. You're all right.

xo | cms

Magnificant Magnus

Today was the perfect day to finish up reading through the world of Shadowhunters; as it stands now, this was the only book I had not yet tackled, and now that I've done it, I'm just patiently waiting for Lord of Shadows to be released in May. 

bane chronicles

^ Oh, and I am so thankful that Harry Shum was cast as the show Magnus.

Really not much to report here, folks. Read on!

xo | cms

Me, Adulting, 2017.

It's amazing how some of the simplest things can provide so much excitement. These days, I'm losing it over coordinated curtains and clean towels. Don't even get me started on matching furniture. All of the sudden, I actually care about that stuff, and it's weird.

So when Rob's mom bought this for me for Christmas and we saw the box there a few weeks ago, I've been patiently biding my time until we took a vehicle large enough to transport it [with us + dogs + stuff, etc] back to Cincinnati. It came back with us last night. It's here, and I love it ♥

final bedroom furniture touch! 

For any of you who see these things online, I will say to you that YES, it is a good investment.
Oh, and as a note to future me, buy this book:

... & buy it because The Sun is Also a Star made you ugly cry in the best way.

& also, I'll be adding The Bane Chronicles to this hoard later this week, along with pre-ordering Lord of Shadows. I'm tellin' ya... addicted. 

because... Shadowhunters

It seemed far more like a Monday than the Tuesday that it actually was, and I can already tell I am thankful this is a 4-day week. 

Cheers! 

xo | cms

35 Years Strong

January 2, 1982:

Rick & Sandy got married. 

They got married. They chose to commit their entire lives to the sacrifice, service & love of the other, vowing to put everything they had, into them. 

These are two people that adopted a little orphaned girl from the other side of the world. They have loved outside of themselves since before they were even they, and I became the product of a love that was willing to reach across oceans. 

These are two people who diligently played their respective roles as responsible adults in a world that could have caved in at any point. At one point, for him, it did, in a way. They fought tirelessly not to maintain a lifestyle, but to prove to the world and to themselves that they would not be broken, swayed or ill-manipulated. They lived life not perfectly, but honestly and with heart. 

These are two people who gave, and gave, and gave.. and then gave some more to those around them. And they haven't stopped! They delight in service, and find joy when they have played a part in enhancing the world around them for the benefit of someone else. 

These are two people who love all creatures, and believe in loving everything in exactly the season they've found it - whether it be a person in a dark season, or a sick animal. They have loved unconditionally, they have restored, and they have accepted. 

These are two people whose resolve to live clean, and be healthy. Their bodies are in no way reflective of what the number on paper says. They are diligent, dedicated and accountable in ways that are contagious to those around them. 

These are two people whose faith precedes them. They have been shown firsthand that where there is a will, there is a way, and that HIS will is always the best way. They have allowed themselves to be taught, mentored and loved in faith. 

And these are two people who today are celebrating 35 years of everything that is them: The beautiful moments and the ones that terrified them into sleepless nights filled with tears prayers. These are my parents, and these are two of undoubtedly the most phenomenal people I will ever know. 

Happy Anniversary, you two. May love always win ♥

xo | cmd

Oh One, Oh One: An Open Letter

My Dearest January: 

I believe I can speak on behalf of the greater majority in welcoming you back. It was been aptly noticed that following your appearance last year, the remaining flock of your dysfunctional siblings took the wheel and well, I'm sure you know how that went.

We lost a great many influential characters in 2016 - many of our historic pioneers and trailblazers, entertainers and American icons, are here among us no more. We elected a new president, and seemed determined to re-brand our purpose of unity only in the concurring that we have just about reached rock bottom in how serious we regard our politics. Miniature civil wars planted themselves across the country, fueled by racial hate, wealth & greed, politics and human rights. Nationally, war ravaged [and continues to ravage], providing coverage littered with white body bags and nameless, stunned children crying out for the parent who was just killed in a bomb strike. Natural disasters came and went, leaving families and communities in shambles - or in some cases, all together demolished. The clearly defined course of how we intended to grow from these things is still somewhat fuzzy, to me at least.

And yet, here we are. As wretched as that sounds, and as disheartening as all of this has been on so many of us, we are here. We are handed this new year, this new day and everything in it, so that the things that are avoidable, can be intentionally avoided. For those things unavoidable, inevitable and purely unexpected, maybe now is the time we intentionally commit to the highest level of preparedness there is, and then trust that our sure-footedness will carry us through the rest that we cannot foresee.

There was unmistakable beauty in 2016, too. I married my best friend. We not only bore witness in the marriages of several of our close friends, but had the honors of being in some of those weddings. Other friends had babies, some learned they would be expecting. Shelter animals were adopted. A significant portion of the DAPL was re-routed. People recovered from illness. Kids who plan to make their world a better place went viral on social media for doing it. There was a lot of ugly, but there was a lot of grace, too.

As it relates to New Years' Resolutions: I honestly don't think that in the last 3 years at least, I have designated a clear list of things I want to accomplish this year. I've had varying theories over the years, toggling between the quest to fully reinvent myself and the idea that all that I am just needs to be tweaked, not entirely reconstructed. I think one year I committed myself to "learning a new language." Bold, right? Possible, of course it is. Realistic for where I was at the time with life, motherhood, career & real, earnest desire in my heart-of-hearts? Probably not. SO, as I am swept into this new year, I have decided that YES, I do in fact have a couple of actual, practical and achievable resolutions for myself. In no particular order:

.:: Read More. I didn't do an awful job in 2016 of reading, but the list of want-to-reads still has some of the same titles on it, and I intend to conquer them this year. And also, because well, books. I love them and I love to read.

.:: Pray More. There is absolutely no power like the power of pray, and my goal this year is to re-calibrate my prayer life so that it happens all the time, not just in the super good and super bad times. Like, when the day is just... meh, I want to pray. And when I'm busy, I want to pray. Basically, whenever I become so self-absorbed with my little bubble, I want to train myself to stop, pray and give thanks for all that is and isn't.

.:: House Work! Please note that I did not say finish the housework. I by no means intend to finish the upgrades I want this year.. BUT, believe you me, the dining room will not see another Christmas looking the way it does now. Whatever else we can accomplish, will be added to the 2017 successes.

.:: Work Out. Gym. Diet. LIVE BETTER! Yes, I'm having a hard time putting that into words that don't strike me as cliche. As a disclaimer to no one in particular, I did get back into the gym sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. With that said, it'll probably be another week before I venture back; I will blame this on my current sinus infection, and admit that the influx of resolutioners is absolutely the second but still very legitimate reason that I'm okay waiting a week. But yeah. I have this one body, and only this one body, and if I'm stuck in it until I go back home, I might as well make it a nice place to live :).

.:: Family Before Work! Guilty. I did not always put my family before my work last year, but not always just because of physical overtime. Emotionally, I failed often at leaving the cloud of work at the door, and not letting it permeate the atmosphere of my home when I walked in each day. There is too much sitting right under my nose: my husband, daughter and two dogs, to allow the frustrations of work dictate my attitude at home.

I dunno, I think that is a fairly practical commitment; really, I could build onto each of those into a dozen sub-categories, but I don't think resolutions should be bound just to the beginning of a year. Who knows, maybe I'll have February resolutions. Or Tuesday resolutions. Or 3:30 PM resolutions.

The year's still new. Who knows.

For now, Happy 2017, blogbots.

Above all, LOVE♥

xo | cms