Panama 2019 Introduction

LOL. Okay soooo.. for those of you who are just landing on this page for the first time:

I'm Cori, and while I can't and won't say I'm a missionary, I am one who goes on missions trips when I can. My church's ladies group recently asked me to put together a video introducing this trip for some of those who might be interested in some more details.

So that video.. is THIS video:


1. I have never, do not, and likely will never... enjoy hearing and watching myself on video. I didn't do much aesthetic prep for this one, so what you see is what you get: no professional make up team or lighting. Literally done in my living room, and this is take #6 I think.

2. Despite the fact that *I FEEL* like I look a little tired here, I can assure you I am BEYOND excited for this trip. Details below:

**********

2015: My first trip to Panama, and my first time meeting the wonderful Vega family. The Vega's are the family who spearhead the Panama missions (MG PANAMA), and who have worked tirelessly since 1995 to share the good news into the mountainous Ngöbe villages. Listen to the video, and visit the MG Panama site for more background on their missions! ♥ The 2015 introduced me to the Ngöbe, and I fell in love within the hour. We shared life, love and the gospel, with a village of beautiful people, and I knew without doubt that I would run headfirst through the door to return, if God should open it again.

2017: .... and He DID. In 2017, alongside the same leader from the 2015 trip, we returned to Panama, to spend a week again with the Vega missions, in a different Ngöbe village. God took it up a notch the second trip around, with us being tasked to build a physical church building for the village. In a week, it went from flat ground to a full completed structure, and on the final night, my best friend and I were able to lead worship for the church's very first service. I will never forget the magnitude and the responsibility of that moment.

2019: Third time's a charm? The adage is a classic, but I wasn't sure it would apply to this trip, until Chris (the again, same strong leader) asked me to lead the women's small group study while we are there. He made clear that this will stretch my boundaries of comfort and ability, but in ways which will grow me. I began immediately praying over this, and today had the opportunity to sit down with one of the women in my church who I most respect and admire. She is the brand of bold I want to be when I grow up, and has not only traveled the road of international missions, but the very specific one I am preparing to walk down, in a leadership role. There is a level of responsibility that comes with this, a new degree of pressure and accountability, and a heart that must, without fail, rely wholly and fearlessly on the results that God has already written into the plan.

If you watched the video, then you know that my biggest prayer right now, for my team, is for preparation not only of our bodies, our resources and our classroom material, but for our hearts and our minds, that we will walk every. single. step of this trip in unbridled faith and flexibility, and that we are willing to step out in boldness when He calls us to, and be authentic vessels through which these people will see the love of Christ as He intended it to be seen: for EVERYone.

trans | Galatians 6:9
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a
harvest if we do not give up."

We can't wait to share more of this with everyone! ♥xxo | cmd

14.5 On A Sunday

If you're as lucky as I am, then your morning starts out with rehearsals that are both productive.. and fun. And did I mention we are thrilled to have Holby back?! Seriously, it wasn't the same without him. Obviously: 

Speaking of Holby, we love that Chad also tasked him with announcements this morning. As you can see, Chad handled it rather well:

when chad starts second-guessing his recent decisions ;) 

I've said it before and I'll say it a hundred times more, this group is one of the best there is, and I'm so, so stoked that I get to share life with them.

I was also pretty pumped that today was so gorgeous! We did lunch with the Ricks after church and then headed home to veg out for a couple hours before strapping up the bikes for a quick ride at Lunken.

ready, set.... go!

done and done and my quads were so mad... ;) 

It's January and the path was full of people - I couldn't have asked for more! My poor legs might beg to differ, but it felt good to switch up the cardio and give my quads a little something to complain about later (aka tomorrow). 

We made it back just in time to grab dinner and rendezvous at the Ricks' house for the quarterly budget meeting, then back home to wrap up the night. Oh, and Jess - now that golden milk is a staple in my house, you're welcome to come by any time and steal some ;)

things of a sunday night

Kind of a hodge podge day, but that's what keeps it interesting, right? 

Tomorrow's a brand new work week, and I'm ready. Are you? 

xo | cms

Letting Go of ME (A 2017 Archive)

Happy Monday TUESDAY, blogbots!

I started rummaging through old unpublished entries on here last night, and I came across this one, about Panama. I thought I'd go for it, since I haven’t yet and it’s been nearly six full months since we got back from the 2017 trip. In the midst of all the other stuff I never got around to documenting, this too fell by the wayside, and that’s not okay.

One of the things that hit me as I was looking back through the first couple days of pictures from the 2017 trip, is how much I really took for granted this time around. Even two months later, some of the finite details had just then registered with me. This, just as any other missions trip, could have gone way worse. Could’ve had serious logistic hurdles. Could’ve, for all we knew, been a complete disaster. But it wasn’t. I’m looking back six months and feeling for the first time, a real gratitude for how that trip turned out.

I’ve been to Panama twice now, and am more cognizant of how those two trips varied:

2015: Rewind almost three(ish) years ago, to when I stepped off my front porch at 3am with my hiking pack and loaded into the van with Chris, Aaron, Marissa and Quinn, for my first Panamanian trip. I was nervous – not in an overwhelming way, but in a way that made me hyper-aware of committing every last detail to memory. I had no idea what to expect. My team, as far as I was concerned at that point, consisted of the people in that van. A confession I’ll make now is that while we sat by the gates at CVG, I penned an open letter to nobody in particular, just in case something were to happen.

That was the state of my heart as I boarded the first plane to New Jersey. That was my focus. I’d completely lost sight in that moment of why I was there in the first place. I got on the plane and cried. We were less than two total hours into the trip and I was already a mess – nerves compounded with disappointment in myself for allowing the doubt to creep in. And then I prayed. For the remainder of that first leg, I prayed. I praised. I made a mental list of and thanked God for each person on the team, in the seats beside me. For our church family who’d backed us. For the missionaries who would be responsible for us while we were there. For our families back home, who would be doing life per usual for the week that we were gone.

equipo ♥♥
suiche, panama | ngobe reservation | 2015

And then I prayed that He would, if nothing else on that trip, help me to live in the moment.
And that is exactly what happened. I spent a week tucked into the side of a remote Ngobe village serving the most incredible families, to whom I am eternally indebted for what they taught me about myself in the process. I came home with an entire journal filled with memories. With moments. With names of new lifelong friends, and places and feelings and descriptions. With notes for my future self. Ways I’d been challenged, and truths I’d realized. I came home and re-lived that trip for months. The foundation had been laid in my heart for Panama, for MG3, for the Vega family, for the Ngobe people. I knew I would be back.

suiche, panama | ngobe reservation | 2015

And I’d only arrived at that place because I finally let go of me, and let God move.

"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."
- 2 Timothy 1:7

 

*****************

MAY/JUNE 2017: Forward to 2017’s trip. Chris had made attempts in 2016 to form a team, but for reasons I’ll never know, it didn’t happen. We accepted that, and started praying for whatever 2017 might hold. It was February when the plans were finally announced for Lightpoint to be sending its inaugural team of missionaries out of the country. We were to be that team. We barely became a full team; a few who expressed initial interest ended up unable to commit, at least for this year. I prayed and again propositioned Marianne, who’d been unable to go in 2016, in hopes that maybe.. just maybe.. this year would work.

And she WAS. And so was her boyfriend, Derrek. And so we became a team of four: Chris, Mare, Derrek and myself. Chris had orchestrated with Todd, a pastor from Crosspoint Church in Cleveland, for the four of us to rendezvous with his team before we got to Panama. We accepted that at face value, and took diligently then to our weekly FaceTime conference calls, where Chris was able to connect with Mare & Derrek and lead us as a team to prepare for Panama 2017.

Approaching the 2017 trip, I was confident of an exponentially higher number of things than I’d been in 2015. Marianne is my best friend, Derrek is her boyfriend, and I’ve had two more years to really get to know Chris and his family. Our international team consisted of people that were no longer strangers to me, and I felt at peace knowing that all the new faces of this expedition would still come with the familiar.

We flew from Cincinnati to Atlanta on the first morning out, and met there with Todd's team, which was a compilation of members from Crosspoint in Cleveland, and then two other couples from Todd's hometown church in Benton, AR (Holland Chapel). Together we had managed to rally 3 churches and 3 different states' worth of teammates, combining for the first time in the Atlanta airport just hours before we were to embark on a pack-only hike into one of the most remote areas of another country.

Now's not the time for Trust Issues. 

We touched down in Panama and seemed as though we didn't stop moving until we got back off the plane seven days later back in Cincinnati. Already a much different pace than 2015. Remembering what I'd eaten 2 hours in the past was a task, let alone compartmentalizing each of the days, and what they stood to represent. For all I can say, this trip was a blur. In a good way, but a blur no less.

team vermoncinnati ;) - chris, cori, derrek, mare
en route to balsa/algorrobo, panama | ngobe reservation | 2017

To nobody's surprise, I took literally a couple thousand pictures, but I'll admit that I am really seeing some of these pictures for the first time, even now. I'm recalling the hours we spent dragging our bags off the bus and stuffing them back on again. Of how we all adjusted to our surroundings, and became wholly reliant on translators to speak in Ngabe on our behalf. How we trusted each other without question, and set foot onto the mountains for hours of hiking into a village.

Letting go of myself on a trip like this is not an option. The difference in how I had to let myself go on this year's Panama adventure was equal yet nearly opposite the way I had to before.

It's something I struggle with obviously on the missions field, but absolutely and frequently off that map, too. And if there was ever a weekday built to test my resolve, it's a Monday, dressed up as TUESDAY. Today really didn't prove to be one of those days, I guess, but I know they're very real, and that separating myself from the voices of control, inadequacy and guilt that I am often prone to hearing is often harder done than said.

2017 equipo : ngabe, esp, eeu
balsa/algorrobo, panama | ngobe reservation outset | 2017

I'm posting this now, because as I set the stage for my 2018, it includes reflecting on a prompt I'd obviously had one day halfway through 2017. I don't know why I didn't post this in its entirety originally (when I first wrote it, in July 2017), but I'm posting now to give myself something to look back on even a week from now, when I'm not feeling particularly sentimental about this the way I am today. I have no idea what 2018 holds, what the Panama trip will look like this year, and although I'm not wired to trust easily, I know there are bigger plans in motion than my doubt. It's a tough pill to swallow, but that's a part of the journey that's just as crucial as being along for the ride. My only real wish, believe it or not, is to be pushed so far out of my comfort zone on the next trip that I have no choice but to stare down whatever two options there are, knowing both will catalyze me in a permanent, hopefully positive way.

With all of that being said, any and all prayers would be hugely appreciated as we work through orchestrating this year's trip. It will be a completely different trip, if I understand it correctly, but hey.. I'm in. :)

xo | cms

When Tuesdays Play Nice

Yes, yes & yes. 

Today was admittedly much better of a day in general than yesterday, and to add to it, I added another book to the collection. This one was recommended by Britta, and now I own it, and soon I will read it. These are the little things in life and lunch breaks that I live for.

the snow child | eowyn ivey

^ I am taking this slowly, believe it or not. There's an entire ship's worth of books on this to-read list, I know, but what's a goal if not challenging? ;)

Other than another bookstore on a sunny day, I did manage to do some other adulty things too: work, more work, some more work and then a parent teacher conference to top it off.

OH, and today a little birdy chirped that there's a return missions trip to Panama, scheduled for May 30 - June 6. Yes, yes & YES.

Gosh, Tuesday. You're all right. You're all right.

xo | cms

I Have Decided - Pursue the Battle Lines

And here I thought last week's Sunday sermon was designed to rock me to the core. I mean, it did, but today's was the refresher course that I really needed. Rob, too. We were privileged to be in the audience for the guest preacher, a Zimbabwe native with a first hand glimpse at life on the other side of the spiritual line.

I would much rather let him share his message with you himself, via webcast, so I'll most definitely post it when SonRise gets it up on the website. In the meantime, we'll have to settle for the Storytellers' abbreviated version:

Today we listened to a man whose childhood consisted of a life of rituals, witch doctors and spiritual seances purposed to channel the voices of the deceased. He was witnessed to by a nun, and that led to a decision that would change his life, and ultimately provide him with the information and passion to share his testimony with congregations along the way, just like ours.

What I love, is when something is stated simply: In his case, the fact that whether we want to acknowledge it or not, we are on the front lines of a spiritual conflict. No, it's not a mystical, fantasy, imaginary world. It's the world in which we live, where we are faced with the decisions daily of who and what will influence us, and in what ways.

We must be armed. We must be prepared. We accomplish preparedness by reading the Word. We ready our hearts and minds by establishing the truth in them, so that when false words and claims are presented, that truth will acknowledge. We resist temptation by understanding our limitations and relying on our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to stand beside us in the seasons where our areas of weakness may otherwise distract us. It's a commitment that we must have, to pray. For protection, for guidance and for perseverance of ourselves, our brothers and sisters, our families, children, friends and those who don't yet even know Christ. It's a full-fledged war, in which we put our trust in the power and ability of God.

I can't wait to share the full vido here; I'll absolutely do that as soon as it's up live!
In the meantime, a friendly reminder that the first meeting for this year's Panama trip is next Sunday. I found the video on the SonRise site and thought I would share it, just in case you're curious about what it is in which we invested ourselves last year in April.


For now though, it's the day of leisure that Sunday should be...  .... okay, well maybe with a little bit of Pinterest to boot. I mean, we're going to have a couple of rooms to decorate here soon, right? 
:)  xo | cmd

Training & Posters

I spent the morning at our Eastgate sister office, immersed in a half day's worth of training; I have to say that as frequently as Express promotes and hosts various training sessions, and as frequently as I continue attending them, I still never fail to bring something new back from the experience.

The second half of the day finished up in the office, and I ended the day with a poster that I ordered to commemorate my trip with SonRise to Panama. It's been just about 3 months since the trip, but I still think daily of those villagers and the Panamanian team. If I'm called at any point to return there, it won't be too soon!

panama :) 

One more day and then the weeeeekend!

xo | cmd

Haiti Peace Team Recap

Today had missions written all over it!

First, I received these in the mail, that I'd ordered a couple weeks back: 

yiieeeee! 

^ They're stickers. Yes, that's right... stickers. The 11-year-old Cori who used to go ape over Lisa Frank stickers resurfaced today in full excitement over her new stickers. At least as an adult, I'm selective about finding those with strong significance ;). 

nalgene

^^ YEP. I'm on my way to a fully-decorated Nalgene, but it will be with hand-selected stickers and in time, will become a sources of hydration as well as a reflection of much that I hold near & dear to my heart ♥

I was so happy all day, with new decorations; it primed me for a continued evening of awesomeness as we convened at SonRise to hear 5 of the 10 Haiti team members share with us their trip to and from, and how they both impacted and were impacted by all of it.

sonrise haiti team! 

What a blessing! I love, love, love that we have so many passionate people engaged in missions work here at SonRise; I'm so proud to have been one of them on the most recent trips, and am on board with many others as we pray for the opportunity to return.

Oh, and who could forget: It's Cinco De Mayo!

because why not?! 

^ Rob & I took advantage of the special occasion, and visited one of our favorite digs for a late evening dinner. ¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo, amigos!

My heart is full tonight.. what an amazing day!

xo | cmd 

When You're Here, But Not....

Today was a wonderful day, really. It was. I had my family by my side and spent the day in each other's company. I am in love with every second of it, but today there was also a part of me that I've realized I will forever wrestle with:

truth, truth, truth. 

I found that somewhere on the web, but it's a perfect summation of what my heart is feeling right now. I've been back from Panama for over a week now, but my heart aches to go back, for just one more day there in that village with the children and the families. With my SonRise team. With our Vega leaders and their support team. I want to return with Rob and Sydni; to show them the raw, unaltered beauty that I experienced on that mountain. To open my daughter's eyes to a world beyond the idea of immediate and constant worldly gratification we have here. To plant in her heart that vision of sharing Christ to the ends of the earth and loving people for their souls, not their image, clothing and titles like we do here.

I am grateful, actually.. for this feeling. I know it means that I came back with a conviction on my heart. With a passion I'd forgotten that I had. I already miss them, yes.. but I know I will see them again.

One of my favorite newer songs is by Audrey Assad; it's called Restless, and today it has reeled through my mind at least a dozen times if not more:

audrey assad lyrics - restless 

Lord, let me never forget what you've done in my heart in the last couple of weeks. Let that change me forever, and let me relentlessly pursue you, the way you pursue me.

Amen, Amen, AMEN.

xo | cmd

National Siblings Day ♥♥

There are days when Facebook makes me wonder why I have a Facebook: People complaining, making passive aggressive remarks towards other people, wrenching news stories and spotlight articles about celebrities doing who-knows-what. It's those days that I know I could do without Facebook.

And then there are days like today [& days like Mother's/Father's Day, Birthdays, etc.]

sister ♥

AND, it's also #FBF in the Facebook world, which for those of you who don't speak hashtags and random acronyms, means FlashBack Friday.

In honor of that, I'll leave you with this, from several years back of my chunky little brown-eyed monkey. 

Oh, and one more thing.. speaking of siblings (referring to the my brothers and sisters in Christ!) - This happened today, and will be my commitment for each paycheck moving forward. I am missions bound, my friends.

the first $100

^ Don't worry, I'm not keeping $20 bills hidden around my house; this was just for dramatization ;). I am however setting aside for this.. and hope that you'll pray me through this commitment, even when it becomes intensely inconvenient.

Love you, my dear blogbots!

xo | cmd

Less, Enough, More.

Honestly:

love this. it's perfect.

I have had such a hard time this week readjusting to my life here. I can personally testify that there is always some amount of disappointment after a trip, vacation or significant event like this. The culmination of planning, preparation, adrenaline and execution of those things creates a euphoria that consumes us through whatever impact it has. I feel like I've always had hypersensitivity and susceptibility to those feelings; I can recall as a child the feeling after a week away at church camp: pining for days to be back in the cabins. Missing fellow campers that I'd just met 6 or 7 days before saying goodbye to them again. Feeling a connection with an experience that ended just as soon as it began. Even with shorter-term things, like a big game or formal event in high school and college - it was over in one night, but the sensations would remain for days, weeks and sometimes months.

THIS time, it's very much that way, but in a different light. I feel still present - mentally, spiritually and subconsciously - in the short life I had in the mountains of Panama. It sounds silly, I know, given that my entire life so far, with the exception of my birth years in the Philippines and then this one week, have been spent living in and through the American ways to which I am accustomed. HOWEVER, I somehow felt a peace there in the mountains. A stillness. Not just because of the atmosphere of morning fog and a river running all day, but because of the absolute life that seemed to reflect off of every surface. There were no roads. No cars. No cell phones (with the exception of their purposes as cameras). A daily agenda, yes, but without the pressure of failure or rejection if we didn't execute it flawlessly. There was camaraderie. Community. A set of unwritten and unspoken rules of hierarchy and fairness that governed the way the people treated each other. There was a love and respect for their surroundings, for their possessions and FOR EACH OTHER.

It is a 180 from what we [unfortunately] see more often than not here at home. Each time I turn on the news, I'm left afterwards in a headspin, wondering what we could accomplish if we channeled the energy we have not into hate, aggression, jealousy and disobedience, but into edifying each other and ourselves. What if we stopped focusing on how much we have? How prestigious we are in the eyes of our peers, colleagues and friends? What if we just.... LOVED people and the world around us?

I am a hopeless romantic in that sense, I know.

I saw a quote today, from Milton Glaser:

"Less isn't more; just enough is more."

Talk about a smack in the face. Could you just.. imagine?

The Ngobe people of Suiche, Acha, Gavila and the other villages we didn't get to cover understand this. They may not even realize that they have a better grasp on this than we do, but regardless of their acknowledgement, they've got it down.

My expectations - both good and bad, of the Panama trip were disbanded, very quickly. Here is one of the short but running lists of things revealed to me during #SonRisePanama2015:

1. It is not 90 degrees & sunny in the mountains. Not always. #RookieMistakes
2. We hiked into a community, not a cave. We were not met by a ravaged group of creatures, but rather by an organized, tight-knit and sustaining collection of neighbors.
2a. The Ngobe people are indigenous, yes, but poor? They are NOT.
2b. They were not emaciated. They were not weak or feeble. They were not dressed in tattered clothes and makeshift shoes. They were NOT lacking any material things that we could have delivered. #EyeOpener.
3. The Ngobe are a very stoic, shy people. That does not equate with resistance to our presence. They let us into their lives and into their villages.. into their homes. We did not earn this, but they offered.
4. We are NOT the ones who have this figured out: 
The Ngobe families are built around honoring each other. Children and adults alike care for their relatives and contribute to the family through their version of chores. They learn the mountain trails. The rivers. The animals and the environment. They know their names, and how to write them in cursive. Most of them speak & understand Ngäbere and Spanish. They are taught endurance through their play. Creativity through lack of technological debilitation. Resourcefulness through necessity. Modesty through dress and conduct. It became laughable how much we enable our children, and how that reflects on their attitudes and behavior. The large majority of our children would have been bored with the lack of access to outside entertainment; here, the children ran. They played soccer. They drew pictures. They sat and made eye contact with each other as they laughed and talked. No friends, we are not the superior brand.
5. I am in love. I will be back. 

It wasn't Panama in itself that changed me. It wasn't the hours on hours we spent in the airports, processing our luggage through customs, or the total of 6 airplanes that carried us back and forth. It wasn't the Panama Canal. Really, it wasn't even the mountains or the presence of indigenous people groups. It was the fact that I am without ample words or ability to explain the shift in my heart. I came back a broken person. I came home with the reality check that I didn't expect to get. The small things became big things. The big things culminated into a final day in Suiche, hugging poor little Selina so hard I thought I might break her. I needed her in that moment more than she needed me. I was at the mercy of the people in that Suiche village. Of the translators. Of my team. I was the one who needed them, not the other way around. Their humble, stoic presence ironically proved to be a reinforcing element, encouraging me every minute that we were there to let go of my inhibitions and any urges to maintain control of the situation; instead I found myself trusting in ways that I'd never done before. 

*************

I'm here in my home tonight surrounded by the life I know and live every day. I am happy to be back, but at the same time I know my perspective has been shifted.. permanently. I feel like I'm surrounded by things, but I'm still missing, lacking something. I look around at all of the things, all the amenities, all the luxuries and things that I take for granted daily, and I am immediately catapulted back to that mountain, into a cloud of people whose joy stems from their existence among each other, and not from the things they've collected.

Milton Glaser's right; Less isn't more. Just enough is more than we deserve, more often than not. I don't want more. I don't want less. I want to see what I already have as fully sufficient for my needs. I want to give back to others before I cram more stuff into my own inventory.

My prayer tonight is that this sensation, this... unraveled and pining feeling that I can't seem to shake tonight.. that I will never lose it. I pray that as days pass and turn to weeks, then months and eventually one year... that regardless of how much time accumulates between this trip and any return venture, that what's been revealed to me as result of this trip won't fade. I'm still on a high from this trip, I'm ready to load up and get on a return flight. I can't, and won't, obviously, but I will be in prayer for God to continue building this spark within me to return when He opens that door. I pray continually for the Vegas and their mission. For each one of the translators who became our core support system and guidance through the week: Matteo, Jusalino, Bernabe, Alexi, Pastor Simon, Rita & Zobeida. I pray for each of my own team members, that their experiences planted and/or fueled the desire to either return to Panama, or continue on in another form of local or international missions.

I'll see you again, Panama.
Until then, Lord please guard my heart and mind when the pressures of this world try to convince me that I need more. The only thing I need more of is you.

Amen?
AMEN.

xo | cmd

The Overzealous Me...

So on March 5, long before I took off for a week to the mountains of Panama, I scheduled the monthly career fair for April. Good job, Cori.

It's amazing that even when I know I'm a ragged mess, I can push on when I have to. I don't know why I'm so baffled by my own ability to do that, but I really wasn't sure walking into that conference room today if I had it in me.

Good news, I did.. and Elisa was a sure and steady supporter through it. We celebrated a slow but semi-successful event [thanks to the rain] with lunch at Findlay. The pops of color there certainly appealed to the otherwise mopey feeling that's been lingering in my gut since I got back to planet USA, and I was quite thankful for the cheerful atmosphere.

colors on an otherwise drab day... ♥ - thank you, findlay!
findlay market | cincinnati, oh 

The day closed, and I headed off in search of something I've been hunting down in my head for the past 24 hours: A bilingual Bible. [I FOUND IT!] As I stood at Family Christian awaiting the completion of my Bible engraving, my sister was kind enough to send my phone into a seizure ;) -

... my sister vs. my facebook photo album... haha.. 

I've made it quite clear to her that she must find a way to come along on the next journey out of the country, specifically with me... which will hopefully be with the Vega team back in the mountains of Panama. Can you tell my heart is still aching to be there?!

Dinner.
More rain. 

I'm already over this week :p 

xo | cmd

Monday: I am Dead.

I already don't know how I'm going to handle this week.

I feel like I'm on another planet today. I'm not sure how today came and went, but I do know that my mind.. my body.. my heart and my soul wee not wholly present there in that office today.

[Oh, this is post-dated, btw]

Monday started without me today, and ended while I struggled against myself to get my feet on the ground. I don't know if it's just because I'm in day 1 back to real life after a week of being a 2 hour hike's distance from Heaven's front door, but I'm in a daze.

I couldn't today. I just couldn't. The drum of the phones and the usual blur of Monday activity did nothing to phase or move me. I felt as though I was in a bubble, that, whenever I closed my eyes for a minute, would project this moment into my brain, almost as clear as it was five days ago on Wednesday last week:

That is Elena. That is Elena in my arm, and me in hers. That's me, bawling uncontrollably into her hair as she shed tears into the front of my shirt. That's Marissa in the middle, ugly crying just like I was. And Zobeida, with Selina in the yellow dress. Rita and Adilsa are on the right outside of this picture, but in that moment, the emotion there was more than I could've handled on my own. Elena, Selina and Adilsa accepted Christ into their lives on the last day we spent in Suiche. This was that moment. This was the physical transition from the old to the new, in a moment that we had thought impossible barely an hour before this.

Work seemed so menial today. I... just... couldn't.
Not to mention the fact that I stayed up way too late last night, memorizing the pictures and generally not sleeping. The fog of the day stayed put until I got home, where the last drops of adrenaline from the previous week dripped away and I fell asleep on contact with the couch.

At around... 5:30 pm.
And slept for 14 hours.

So yeah.
[Take me back.....]

*Sigh.

xo | cmd

#SRP2015 Day 8: We Are Home.

ENGLISH: BLACK FONT (Or gray).  SPANISH: RED FONT

INGLÉS: FUENTE NEGRO (O gris).  ESPAÑOL: FUENTE ROJO

*******

Today, we left Panama. We ate a fast breakfast at our hotel with Talsy & Ruth, then loaded into the hotel shuttle and were at the Tocumen Airport in a matter of minutes. It was there that we said a rather rushed and informal goodbye-for-now to the Vegas, grabbed our bags and proceeded in to start our day of traveling.

Hoy en día, salimos de Panamá. Comimos un desayuno rápido en nuestro hotel con Talsy & Ruth, luego cargado en el transporte del hotel y estábamos en el aeropuerto de Tocumen en cuestión de minutos. Fue allí que dijimos una vez apresurado y adiós-para-ahora informal a la Vegas, cogimos nuestras maletas y procedió a iniciar nuestro día de viaje. 

we are going home.. 

goodbye, panama!
adiós, Panamá

Flight 1: Panama City, Panama to Denver, CO. That's about 5 hours, in case you're wondering.
Flight 2: Denver, CO to Chicago, IL. That was about another 2 hours.
Flight 3: The last flight - Chicago, IL to Dayton, OH.

Vuelo 1:. Ciudad de Panamá, Panamá a Denver, CO Eso es cerca de 5 horas, en caso de que usted se está preguntando. 
Vuelo 2: Denver, CO a Chicago, IL. Eso fue sobre otras 2 horas. Vuelo. 3: El último vuelo - Chicago, IL a Dayton, OH 

obligatory airplane wing + cloud picture.. somewhere over Panama
avión ala obligatoria + foto nube .. en algún lugar sobre Panamá 

art as we ran through the o'hare airport
arte mientras corríamos por el aeropuerto O'Hare 

chicago  (chicago)

A mere 9-9.5 hours of flying later, we are here, in Ohio, in the good old U.S. of A. We are back in North America. We're a motley bunch right now, but with hearts full of a week we won't soon forget.

A sólo 9-9,5 horas de vuelo después, estamos aquí, en Ohio, en los buenos viejos EE.UU. de A. Estamos de vuelta en América del Norte. Somos un grupo heterogéneo en este momento, pero con el corazón lleno de una semana que no olvidará.

our final landing
nuestro último aterrizaje

Day 8: Return from the mission.
Check.
But, the work continues...

Día 8:. Regreso de la Misión.
Hecho. 
Pero, el trabajo continúa. 

xo | cmd
♥ | cmd

#SRP2015 Day 3: The Interviews! [BONUS]

ENGLISH: BLACK FONT (Gray).  SPANISH: RED FONT

INGLÉS: FUENTE NEGRO (Gris).  ESPAÑOL: FUENTE ROJO

*******

We have SO much content from this trip. There are hundreds of pictures, it seems, and of course video taken as well.

Chris did an excellent job of ensuring we shared our experiences. From yesterday, here is some of the footage Chris has shared so far with us, of us! :)

Tenemos tanto el contenido de este viaje. Hay cientos de imágenes, al parecer, y por supuesto de vídeo tomadas también. 

Chris hizo un excelente trabajo de asegurar que compartimos nuestras experiencias. Desde ayer, aquí es algunas de las imágenes Chris ha compartido hasta ahora con nosotros, de nosotros! :)

Me (Yo):

Marissa (Marissa):


Chris (Chris):


Quinn (Quinn):

And I don't know where Aaron's interview is, or if he did one on the first day. (Sorry!)
I know one thing for certain: The next time that I come here, I am bringing a Go-Pro. :)
See you tomorrow!

Y yo no sé de dónde la entrevista de Aaron es, o si lo hizo uno en el primer día. (Lo siento)
Sé una cosa cierta: La próxima vez que vengo aquí, yo traigo a Go-Pro. :)
Nos vemos mañana! 

xo | cmd
♥ | cmd

#SRP2015 Day 2: Suiche, Panama

ENGLISH: BLACK FONT (Or Gray).  SPANISH: RED FONT

INGLÉS: FUENTE NEGRO (O Gris).  ESPAÑOL: FUENTE ROJO

*******

After arriving in Panama at 3:00 in the morning, we slept for just short of 2 hours before we were up, showered and on our way back to the airport. We caught a flight from Panama City to David, where we finally rendezvoused with Talsy Vega, National Director of e3 Partners, and two of her children - Ruthie and David.

Después de llegar a Panamá a las 03:00 de la mañana, dormimos durante poco menos de 2 horas antes de que nos levantábamos, nos duchamos y en nuestro camino de regreso al aeropuerto. Cogimos un vuelo de Ciudad de Panamá a David, donde finalmente reunieron con Talsy Vega, Director Nacional de E3 Partners, y dos de sus hijos - Ruthie y David. 

hotel riande
hotel de riande

with quinn and the giant chess set
con quinn y el juego de ajedrez gigante

panama city airport - an early day for us!
aeropuerto de la ciudad de Panamá - un día antes para nosotros!

final packing before the mountains
embalaje final antes de las montañas

our team: talsy. david. aaron. marissa. cori. quinn. chris.
nuestro equipo: talsy. david. aaron. marissa. cori. quinn. chris.

We accompanied them back to their beautiful home in David, where we unpacked & re-packed according to the next phase of our entry into the week: THE HIKE. We loaded back into the truck and drove the near 2 hours from David to San Felix, another small town that marked the "halfway point" of our driving time into the Suiche mountains. We convened there for lunch with three of the Spanish translators and one of the Ngobe translators, all members of the 'Vega Team' who rally together for these trips and pick up where they left off with the last group. 

Nosotros los acompañamos de regreso a su casa en David, donde nos deshacer y re-embalado según la siguiente fase de nuestra entrada en la semana: la caminata . Cargamos de nuevo en la camioneta y fuimos los cerca de 2 horas de David a San Félix, otro pequeño pueblo que marcó el "punto medio" de nuestro tiempo de conducción en las montañas suiche. Convocamos allí para el almuerzo con tres de los traductores de español y uno de los traductores Ngobe, todos los miembros del 'equipo de Vega' que se congregan juntos para estos viajes y continuar donde lo dejaron con el último grupo.

here we go! driving from david to san felix
aquí vamos! la conducción de david a san felix

lunch in san felix with the team
almuerzo en san felix con el equipo

flowers
las flores

loading up to leave
cargar hasta dejar

bernabe & rita  ||  bernabe y rita

We hopped into another truck at that point, which carried our growing team of the SonRisers, Spanish translators Juselino, Zobeida & Rita, Ngobe translator Bernabe, and eventually Mateo as well, who we kind of just picked up halfway up the mountain. We were toted further and further away from the city, meter by meter closer to the foot of where our hike would begin.

Nos montamos en otro camión en ese punto, lo que llevó a nuestro equipo creciente de los SonRisers, traductores españoles Juselino, Zobeida y Rita, Ngobe Traductor Bernabe, y, finalmente, Mateo, así, que nos tipo de acaba de recoger a media altura la montaña. Estábamos toted más y más lejos de la ciudad, metro a metro más cerca de los pies de donde comenzaría la caminata. 


Here we go!
¡Vamos!

We eventually landed there, where I somehow managed an itty bitty 10-minute catnap during part of the hour we spent awaiting villager support to tote in all of our gear. We eventually got moving, setting foot onto the mountain that would be our home for the week.

Nos finalmente aterrizamos allí, donde de alguna manera me las arreglé 10 minutos siesta durante parte de la hora que pasamos esperando aldeano apoyo a Tote en todo nuestro equipo. Finalmente nos dieron en movimiento, poner un pie en la montaña que sería nuestro hogar durante la semana. 

at the base of the mountain
en la parte inferior de la montaña

we have a lot to take up there...
tenemos mucho para tomar allí arriba ...

just a small nap, haha...
sólo una pequeña siesta, jaja ...

the help has arrived!
¡la ayuda ha llegado!

let's go! [with juselino & talsy]
¡vamos ya! [con juselino y talsy]

going up, going up, going up and not going down!
¡subiendo, subiendo, subiendo y no va a bajando!

marissa & i were determined to make it fun :)
marissa y yo estábamos decididos a hacer que sea divertido :)

hi, little guy..
hola, poco hombre ..

Three hours flies by when you're surrounded by this kind of beauty, with the fatigue of the day coming down on you but knowing that the resolve in your heart to get to where you can sleep is stronger than the shaky nerves in your feet as you tread over rocks, gravel and grass in rubber boots.

Tres horas moscas por cuando estás rodeado de esta clase de belleza, con el cansancio del día viene abajo en ti, pero a sabiendas de que la determinación de tu corazón para llegar a donde se puede dormir es más fuerte que los nervios temblorosos en los pies al pisar sobre rocas, grava y hierba en las botas de goma. 

in love.
estoy enamorado

banana trees
árboles de plátano

one white tree in the midst of green
un árbol blanco en medio del verde

scenes along the route
escenas a lo largo de la ruta

stubborn horse, determined boy!
¡caballo terco, muchacho determinado!

CAMP! This was the only day of the trip in which I stepped entirely into the river, past my knees, filling my boots with water. I become a novice in the dark when my body is fatigued. Haha. It wasn't much of a sight in the dark, but my heart was tied to the place no later than 24 hours later. It was our home, where we started and ended each day. We ate together there, reconvened after spreading out on daily missions, and between each portion of our ministry during the day. Our home base in the Suiche mountains.

¡HABITAT! Este fue el único día del viaje en el que entré en su totalidad en el río, más allá de mis rodillas, llenando mis botas de agua. Me convierto en un novato en la oscuridad cuando mi cuerpo está fatigado. Jaja. No había mucho de una vista en la oscuridad, pero mi corazón estaba atado al lugar no más tarde de 24 horas después. Era nuestra casa, donde empezamos y terminamos cada día. Comimos juntos allí, volvió a convocar después de la difusión en misiones diarias, y entre cada parte de nuestro ministerio durante el día. Rezamos allí. Historias compartidas por el día allí. Veíamos a nosotros mismos a crecer a través de la experiencia de todos los días. Nuestra base de operaciones en las montañas suiche.

our home for the week
nuestra casa para la semana

dinner and discussion on the first night: 10:30pm
la cena y el debate sobre la primera y noche: 22:30

meeting pastor simon for the first time
satisfacer pastor simon por primera vez

Day 2: Hike To Suiche.
Check.
Tomorrow, we begin God's work here.

Día 2:. Caminata Para Suiche. 
Hecho.
Mañana, comenzamos la obra de Dios aquí.


xo | cmd
♥ | cmd