s u r r e n d e r

image credit: Instagram @morganharpernichols

I needed to sit down and write this out while it's still fresh.

I was driving home from church this morning, overwhelmed by the A-ha! moments I've had, just so far today. It's barely afternoon, and I'm brimming with conviction. But that's how God works. Today's entry is for me. I'm speaking in raw format for myself, so if this maybe resonates for you too, then know I am in your corner, and perhaps we're wearing at least one of the same shoes.

Today's church service, at a glance, was all things routinely slated as it can be: worship, sermon, invitation, communion, fellowship - all the things that comprise a Sunday morning, come and go. If I said that every single Sunday echoed at a core level like today did, I'd be lying. While there is always a powerful point to the message, there is, with varying frequency, one (or more) that I feel were designed to speak directly and specifically into the spaces of my mind and heart that are wary, tired or broken. Today was one of those.

Today was one of the weekends I was scheduled off in the rotation of the worship team. It is just as beautiful to me to lead out through the mic, as it is to be still and be fed. It is just as necessary. Today was a day to be fed. Today was a day to be humbled. To be an active listener. To be an ACTIVE responder. To surrender.

One of the most basic tools we are given as humans, as friends, as families, as Christians - are relationships. We are wired to seek and serve a purpose, and we thrive when we do so, according to our individual gifts. If we are living out our abilities, we will inevitably be doing so among the company of others who share gifts, or who serve in other ways that complete the picture. We are built as relational creatures: in our families, in our friendships and in fellowship. By definition, 'relationships' is a plural entity, meaning that we will find synchrony with other people in the process of building and living out those relationships.

That then, by proxy, means letting go.
To clarify, that does not mean losing yourself. They are not the same thing.

I have lost myself before. I'm sure I'll do it again before my time on earth is over. I've tried to fit the mold that something or someone else has built, and all too late realized that I was never meant to fit into that mold. I have focused on becoming or being the way someone else is. I have tried and failed, tried and failed, tried and failed. But I have also tried and succeeded! The difference comes when I let go. When I surrender myself to the goal at hand, and get out of my own way.

Sounds easy enough right? Well, I suppose it is, in most cases. As a Christian, as a believer, I can vouch though that the real test of faith comes when I am asked to surrender. Why? Because I am very much human, and surrendering the things that keep me "safe," requires a faith that I do not always have.

Not on my own, anyway. What do I mean by this? Well for starters: When I am called to serve. Something as 'simple' as our praise team. It is an area of ministry that must be filled, and in the last year, my church as been blessed with a worship leadership team that has brought us together and sculpted us into a well-oiled machine (with room to grow, always always always!). But the process took faith! It took a determination to be flexible. To adopt new things, and integrate them with old things. To follow. To work together. To accept instruction, constructive criticism. To accept praise. To be patient with technical issues on a Sunday morning. Tuning issues. Tempo issues. It is all of those things.

On a larger scale, surrender comes as a struggle for me where relationships are concerned.

Forgiveness. 

Grace. 

Mercy. 

Humility. 

Guilt. 

Am I the only one who struggles with LETTING GO of some of those things? 

Am I the only one who feels somehow ENTITLED to keep a white-knuckle grip on some of these? 

Am I the only one who feels like they might lost themselves if I give these things up? 

Am I the only one who fears the unknown that lies beyond the surrender of these things? 

I am not the only one. I am surrounded by a church family, comprised of other humans, with other life experiences and wisdoms that sometimes dwarf my own, or in other cases remind me of the beauty that I may have lost sight of through something of my own. Today, a few members of my 'family' spoke into me, through the message (Josh), and in personal anecdotes afterwards (Joyce & Dale), and for them I am so thankful. 

I struggle with surrender. I often equate it with being weak. With failing myself. With the natural fear of the unknown. With the dread of repeating the same mistakes or experiences again. I hold onto what tangible security I feel like I have, and live inside the isolation of fear. I often wonder, "am I the only one who does this?" and "if I let go, I'm going to get hurt again." I worry. I become anxious that I will be caught off guard or otherwise unprepared for something I should've seen coming. I doubt my abilities, my capabilities and my emotional bandwidth. I FEAR THAT I WILL NOT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES. I fear that in letting go, I may just lose myself. 

Cori, the hard and indisputable TRUTH is that there is FREEDOM in surrender. There is LIBERATION in letting go. There is PEACE in the stillness. Think about it. Just THINK, how beautiful it is to plant a seed and literally NOT have to be the one who waters it into full maturity? How freeing it is, to allow your shoulders to breathe OUT from beneath the weight you've made them carry? How triumphant it feels to look back at the transcript of your life so far, and realize that your testimony lies in the FACT that God has literally N E V E R been absent in providing you with what you've needed?! That to forgive yourself for the things you've done wrong, allows you the space to forgive others for what they've done to you? To model service after the way Jesus served, allows you to get OUT of your own way and let God move in the impossible formats that only He can? That to SURRENDER your doubt, means that you don't have to carry it? How many times have you lost sight of this? And have you not suffered EVERY single time because you did?  YOU DID. 

S U R R E N D E R. 

Let go of the control. Let go of the plan I have, and remember that God will bless my efforts tenfold when I let Him in to heal. When I stop trying to do it all on my own, is when I will win. When I finally pause long enough to see that there are outstretched hands from other people - other believers - who have been here before, who are living in service and ready to help me do the same.. that is when I will truly be able to serve with a clear heart. 

I'm human. The idea of blind trust and faith is something that we are all literally born with. We grow out of it as we grow, as we are exposed to the world. As we experience. As we find joy, and live through pain. As we build walls to try and neutralize the stings of rejection, betrayal, loss, disappointment. I cling to my own devices more often than not, and without fail, it leads me further into chaos. 

This isn't a new thing for me. Surrender is something I have always struggled with. I find hope in the fact that I surrounded by other humans who struggle at some level with this, too. I find comfort in knowing that I am loved by a God who gave His son's life so that I would not have to pay the price of death for the things I've done wrong. 

Just as this isn't a new struggle for me, it will not resolve itself overnight. But here I sit, confessing this area of perpetual weakness, on a platform that will give me reference access to anywhere I go, anytime I need to be reminded. And it's here for you too, if you're out there reading this and relating. 

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." 

- James 4:10

It's okay to let go. In fact, that is what we're called to do. It's part of growth. In order to grow, I have to trust the process. I have to try and fail, and I have to try and succeed. I have to forgive. I have to show mercy, because I have been shown mercy beyond my comprehension, let alone my merit. I have been shown grace and love so unconditional that I am a fool not to show them to the people in my own life. I have scars that should not serve as shackles, but as blocks on which I can build my testimony.

currently listening…. highly recommend! 

This will be a process. It is always a continuous process.
Surrender isn't easy. But it's necessary.
I can do this. We can do this. ♥

xo | cmd

Songs & Shelves!

Happy Sunday! 

Today really was a beautiful day, both inside and outside. Nobody's really sure what the midwest wants to do when it comes to weather, but today provided some much needed sunshine and chirpy birds to make up for the mini blizzard that rolled through yesterday.  

Our day began with worship, which, if I'm being honest, I could use every day. I took some time specifically today to give thanks for the praise and worship team that "adopted" me with open arms and has welcomed me as now a core member in our growth as a team. As with any ministry that truly speaks to the individual, I am so overwhelmed by just how at home I feel with them, each week as we support each other and lead our growing church plant in worship. 

And it's fun, too ;) 

silly rehearsal times

( But serious, when we need to be....)

lost in worship with this incredible, incredible team
photo cred: my awesome husband ♥

 And after church, I was feeling happy, and sunshiney, and flowy [the latter based on the hair I so. desperately. need. to cut...]. Either way, today really was a day of mental and bodily rejuvenation, and I was happy to soak it in.

happy :)

"SUNDAY IS A DAY OF REST!" is what I swear I heard in my ear every hour as Rob and I dove into a project we've [I've] been talking about for weeks. I've been chronicling in recent posts the growing collection of pretty spines [aka books] and wimsy little Funkos that have begun piling atop the mantle in our living. For fear that I'd come home one day to find the shelf broken off the wall - which Rob has assured me is quite unlikely to happen, I decided that in addition to the book nook I've been scheming for the upstairs room, there would be a bookshelf to accompany it.

And that birthed today's project: #StokesShelfie.
I gave it a hashtag because I'm that person, who will forever reference this and all book-related projects in my home with hashtag vernacular. Or maybe worse. #WHOKNOWS.
Rest in peace, pound sign. 

ANYWAY:

before [& yes, those are 2 separate shots, 2 separate angles]

I'll skip the boring part where Rob and I marched back and forth across Home Depot for 45 minutes debating on the best and most cost-efficient material for this. We eventually settled on primered boards, which meant no pre-painting on our end. WOO!

frame!

From there, it was Rob and his table saw, and me with a drill and chair because I'm too short for just about everything.

sectioned :)

 And then the fun part:

....aaaaand ONE. 

 And two, and three, and four......

And then FINALLY:  

done! done done done. 

Rob went back to the garage to continue hounding away at the motor he's been working on, and I took to re-homing a portion of my new shelf's inhabitants. It's late and I'm tired, so the rest will have to wait for another day.

It's still pretty awesome - I couldn't have done this without my super awesome husband's help; I am in LOVE with this [and him, duh].

#shelfie!

Phewww.
Gooood night, blogbots!

xo | cms

Omniscience.

Today made me happy. For a few reasons:

First, there was church.

Then there was barbeque.

And then soccer.

A homemade drop top guestbook.

Cleaning, laundry, wedding planning.

Snuggles & bedtime stories.

**************************************

So I wanted to talk about this whole mini-series that our Pastor has constructed for us, based on the concept of drones. Yes, drones - those all-seeing aerial cameras that have become so popular over the last several years.

Omniscience. I sat for the morning hour today and listened to things I already know, but decidedly needed put into short, concise bullet points for the taking. See, as we plow steadily through this final phase of wedding plans, I find myself not nervous, but anxious. I'm anxious! The "end" is in sight, and in another couple of blinks, it'll be upon us, and then it'll be over, and this flutter of loose ends will become a thing of the immediate past. The result will be a wonderful party with our closest friends and family, to commemorate the changing of my last name and two people making one promise of indivisible partnership for the rest of our lives.

I can't wait.

For now though, I'm anxious.

Why is that?!

One of the opening passages for this message today was Hebrews 4:13:

Nothing is all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.

Okay, so let's peel that apart like an onion:

1. There's not a door in the world that's either so thick or so tightly sealed to separate me from God.

2. I'm accountable, both in and out of sight.

3. He's not surprised by anything, and there's ab.so.lutely nothing that is too large a challenge for Him.
(This is a bigger onion, but we'll save the rest for another day.)

I thought about this as I sat among my church family, and realized that (once again), He was making a clear point to me about my anxiety and stress as I plan this wedding.

He sees all. He knows all. He has conquered all. Why then, do I worry? Why do I give in to the pressures of multi-tasking, logistics and coordination? It's not bad stress! It's a good thing, that we have a wedding to plan! It's incredible that we are getting married, and whatever work must be done to create our special day is worth it, no questions asked.

And as I think about what the future post-wedding looks like (which I tend to do at more often than I realize at this phase in the planning), I start to wander off into that field of weeds where uncertainty grows like vines, over rocky ground. Today I was reminded that it's not my job to know the future. It's not my job to carry the past. It's my job only to trust in Him, and accept that whatever He has planned for me, and whatever He has led me through before, is part of the big picture of my time on this earth.

He. Is. Omniscient.
And I am not.
And that, is how I'll start this week.

xo | cmd 

Like Nehemiah :)

Happy Wednesday, bloggers! 

I hope the week's gone well for all of you, even if it's one of the abbreviated work weeks like mine has been. It's certainly been a roller coaster week for us, but there've been more highs than lows, and for that I'm grateful. 

Tonight after work, we were able to convene with our small group and transfer guardianship of the two boxes for the foster graduates. I'm excited to hear how they're received. 

Something that we covered tonight in small group that resonated with me; bear with me - this isn't long, I promise, but it's certainly worth the recall on a later day, I'm sure. 

Scott walked us through the book of Nehemiah tonight, focusing primarily on Nehemiah himself, and the qualities that defined him as the leader, prayer-warrior and consistently faithful person he was. We centered our study tonight around Nehemiah's journey to Jerusalem to rebuild the broken walls and restore the inner city. 

I can't imagine. Seriously.
The journey there, in a time where Uber, Mapquest and anything faster than a horse or camel didn't exist. We're talking miles.. and miles.. and miles of walking. 

Then there was the matter of obtaining all the things he'd requested from King Artaxerxes: letters ahead of him requesting protection. A calvary of bodyguards. Timber & material to rebuild the walls and gates. Other people to go along and help. Things requested from a king during a time in which you could very literally lose your head if the King felt slighted or upset with you for any reason. Talk about confidence! 

We dissected Nehemiah's experience through the 52 days it took to rebuild the walls around Jerusalem, and I realized that although the [literal] work itself is so very different, the principles of leadership, discernment, trust, confidence, faith, endurance, consistency and resistance are tried, true and timeless. 

First and foremost, Nehemiah was a prayer warrior. That in itself is a step on which I fall short more often than I care to admit. Sure, I pray, but when I'm being honest, I can't say that it's always the first thing I think to do when I'm caught off guard. It's one of the first, but it's not the first. 

Then, he's a leader by example and participation. You know, one of those working manager types. The coach that gets on the field and does the drills with the team. The teacher that gives the instruction and then provides individual attention until the whole class understands at the same level. Nehemiah was a tutor, trainer and humble servant, all wrapped up into one man, powered by God, purposed to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. 

Love

Joy
Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness
Gentleness 

& Self-Control 

[wait, those sound familiar.... ;) ]

Just some things I've been reflecting on since we left tonight. I am not the first person I would think of if asked who I knew that exhibits all of these boldly, daily, and because of that, I know I need to work on it. 

For now, I wish joy and peace to each of you for the rest of the week! 

outside our house ♥

xo | cmd

Bit by Bit

We're still staying in the "old house," as it's now being called in light of the moving process. We've got stuff in boxes and are slowly moving piece by piece until the big truck comes and the bulk of what we have goes. We woke up earlier than expected this morning, which made for some calm quality time amidst the boxes piling up in each room.

sweet moments :)

After church, we made a trip to the "new house" to shuffle some things around and assemble some items from yesterday's auction. In addition to laying out a couple of area rugs, organizing portions of the kitchen cabinets and surveying a couple of the rooms for paint colors, I took to constructing the two Parson's chairs we snagged at the auction. To my disappointment, both chairs were missing front legs, which made these the first items we've received so far from the auction that were missing core pieces. No biggie though; they won't be hard to replace, and the chairs are otherwise new out of the box! #silverlining

in the box... 

what they'll look like with four legs.. haha

I mean hey, there are worse things in the world than missing chair legs. Heck, there are worse things in the process of this move so far, so if missing chair legs are one of the bigger headaches I have, then that is a-okay with me. 

Most of our afternoon was spent shuffling things into their tentatively permanent places at the new place and filling the garage closer and closer to full capacity with things that won't have a home for at least the next month, I'm sure. The joys of moving! 

This will be a slow but certainly sure process. It's coming together bit by bit and I'm doing what I can to control those moments of over-zealous thought strands that convince me I can and will paint the entire downstairs level in the matter of 8 hours. It's not that I truly believe it's impossible, but I've also vowed to let myself actually enjoy the process, too ;). 

Stay tuned.... 

xo | cmd

DOLLA STOOOORE [Ft. Liza Koshy]

Ya'll, I'm overwhelmed, kindasortalotta.

Here we are moving, and all I can think about is all the stuff we need/want/will probably acquire for the new house, and not one speck of interest in packing anything in our current house. It's daunting, really. I've moved my fair share of times, but every single stinkin' time I get distracted by all those little items that eventually get thrown in a box at the last minute because by that point I'm just with packing and I don't care how it moves as long as it moves. *inhale; I know that was a horribly-extended sentence... *exhale.

Let me pause for a second here, to ask a very random, poll-esque question:

How many of you know or have watched the videos by Liza Koshy?
No? Well, that's the wrong answer. Yes, is what you should've said. If you haven't, here she is, outlining my life at the moment, as it relates to the Dollar Store.

^Oh, and because somewhere out there is someone who's going to say something or other about me claiming this as intellectual material, something sermthern sermtherrrrn.... let's just not. I didn't make these videos nor do I own them, or Liza, or anything in between. Mmmkay? 

Just enjoy, for a moment:

"A DOLLA?!"

^ That was me, this afternoon as I traipsed through the dollar store today.

Note the sign: EVERYTHING'S $1. These little glass jars are barn wedding material... just sayin'.... 

Believe it or not, I came here looking for pool noodles. You thank Pinterest for this one, and for all of the pictures that look like THIS: 

these aren't mine, but look how tall and organized! 

Organizational hacks are phenomenal. Stay tuned for the day I pull this off; I'll be back with photographic evidence and hopefully without any slice marks from cutting up pool noodles :). 

But I digress. The dollar store didn't have pool noodles [sad face], but they had just about everything else under the sun, and just like Liza says, enough squeaky-wheeled carts and Chinese plastic to go around.... BUT, it's all $1 so who cares?!

Rob will be the first to tell you that I need to slow my roll and get the stuff we already have... packed. I will admit this is a generally overwhelming process, this whole moving thing. If there's an appropriate time to reiterate one of the points Pastor Jeff made this morning, it's now: 

slow down, cori.. there's a bigger picture. 

Phew. 

The new week starts tomorrow, and all that inevitably will come with it. Moving is underway, folks! 

xo | cmd

"A 6-Die Farkle is a Bad, Bad Day...."

It's almost Friiiiiday! 

Today was a good one. I've been buried up to my eyeballs in work for the past couple weeks, but after a refreshing break to grab dinner with Becky & Mike last night, and after the good news today that we'll be adding a new girl to our staffing team to absorb the other half of what I'm currently doing, well... it's all been a blur, but it just made today really... interesting. In a good way, I think.

I left work per the usual schedule to get Sydni; for over half the trip, I trailed a car that kept asking me the question of the ages [or at least of the past few weeks, seemingly so whenever I look up for a split second..]

i mean........ 

^ It's a valid question, and I know I'm not the only one who feels like I'm asking my own brain this and expecting some third party answer half the time. Like, I busted into Milford today with no idea what my name was after following that guy, who also probably thought I was stalking him after I snapped this picture at the red light. Meh. 

Sydni told me all about her school's Valentine's Day party as we cruised back home, until Nana called and we got to coordinating plans for the clan to come down and visit [aka help us clean the current digs once we pack it up next month and head to the new place!]

It was a short U-turn at home, where we squeezed in homework, a snack, a potty break and costume change from work to street clothes before rushing right back out the door for small group. Tonight was especially hilarious, as we took a 1-week break from our usual studies to indulge in a time of fellowship of games and snacks. I am beyond grateful for this crew, for the fellowship, and above all, for the fact that a game of Farkle has never before been so much daggone FUN! 

farkle! 

I think as I finish this week and head into next week, I'm not going to be able to unhear Jen's exclamation, "A 6-die Farkle is just a Bad, Bad Day!" How a cup, 6 die and a group of awesome people can lighten up an evening and get those happy little endorphins movin' :). 

Yeahhhhh... 

Seriously, this week's been a blur. Last week, too. Tomorrow's Friday, and I'm pretty certain it's going to be the perfect start to a weekend of fun :). We've got a celebratory work dinner planned with Chris & Deb as a reward for winning the quarterly sales contest, followed by the weekend I'll spend in Cleveland with these two [+Q&E!] - 

heading to cleveland on saturday with this lovely fam! 

Happy, happy, HAPPY almost Friday, blogbots! 

xo | cmd

Callie the Diamondback

Rob was still in Illinois this morning, so Sydni and I did church on our own. We started a new series this week on relationships, and as Pastor Jeff's messages usually are, I'm pretty sure the rest of the series will be excellent.

The Panama meeting was after church, although it wasn't much of a meeting. Chris, Tana, Beth and I gathered after the service, but we're hoping the next time we get together will have a better turnout. There were several other meetings happening at the same time, which detracted some from our informational meeting. I'll have the opportunity to go with Chris and Betsy next weekend to Cleveland, to see Talsy and David while they're here visiting; hopefully then we'l be able to determine exactly what our trip will look like.

Rob surprised us by showing up several hours earlier than expected, with his newly-tuned truck and a bed full of auction stuff.

He'd purchased this a couple weeks ago without my knowing [at a price tag far less than MSRP, wooo!], and picked it up at the auction warehouse on his way out to Illinois last week.

I shared this little gem on Facebook, and in no time realized that I'll have to tote her to Arizona sometime this summer, whenever we visit Jesse & Liz; it turns out she just got a new Diamondback too! I'm ready, Summer... the trails are calling... 

OH, and it's Superbowl Sunday, a minor detail for me. Sorry, not sorry, but if I'm being honest with myself and the rest of the world, the truth is that I had absolutely no interest in watching the game, but the invite to spend the evening with the Costanzas far outweighed my indifference for the game itself. We are truly fortunate to be able to get to know this family more and more, and tonight was the perfect way to relax and somehow still enjoy the game. 

Congrats though, to the Broncos! I know my parents and just about everyone else I know seemed to have their fingers crossed that Peyton Manning & Co. would come out on top, and they weren't disappointed. 

Tomorrow's a new week, but with plenty in store! Becky's back from Trinidad & Tobago, so we'll see her, I think there's a dinner with Jess in that mix somewhere, small group and then I'm off to Cleveland with the Costanzas this weekend. 

I'm pretty pumped, but yeah, I agree... let's get through Monday, first ;) 

xo | cmd

I Have Decided - Pursue the Battle Lines

And here I thought last week's Sunday sermon was designed to rock me to the core. I mean, it did, but today's was the refresher course that I really needed. Rob, too. We were privileged to be in the audience for the guest preacher, a Zimbabwe native with a first hand glimpse at life on the other side of the spiritual line.

I would much rather let him share his message with you himself, via webcast, so I'll most definitely post it when SonRise gets it up on the website. In the meantime, we'll have to settle for the Storytellers' abbreviated version:

Today we listened to a man whose childhood consisted of a life of rituals, witch doctors and spiritual seances purposed to channel the voices of the deceased. He was witnessed to by a nun, and that led to a decision that would change his life, and ultimately provide him with the information and passion to share his testimony with congregations along the way, just like ours.

What I love, is when something is stated simply: In his case, the fact that whether we want to acknowledge it or not, we are on the front lines of a spiritual conflict. No, it's not a mystical, fantasy, imaginary world. It's the world in which we live, where we are faced with the decisions daily of who and what will influence us, and in what ways.

We must be armed. We must be prepared. We accomplish preparedness by reading the Word. We ready our hearts and minds by establishing the truth in them, so that when false words and claims are presented, that truth will acknowledge. We resist temptation by understanding our limitations and relying on our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to stand beside us in the seasons where our areas of weakness may otherwise distract us. It's a commitment that we must have, to pray. For protection, for guidance and for perseverance of ourselves, our brothers and sisters, our families, children, friends and those who don't yet even know Christ. It's a full-fledged war, in which we put our trust in the power and ability of God.

I can't wait to share the full vido here; I'll absolutely do that as soon as it's up live!
In the meantime, a friendly reminder that the first meeting for this year's Panama trip is next Sunday. I found the video on the SonRise site and thought I would share it, just in case you're curious about what it is in which we invested ourselves last year in April.


For now though, it's the day of leisure that Sunday should be...  .... okay, well maybe with a little bit of Pinterest to boot. I mean, we're going to have a couple of rooms to decorate here soon, right? 
:)  xo | cmd

Pamper Time: Subie & Lexi

Okay, okay, okay, let's not pretend like I am the only one out there who's ever taken her car's ability to function despite an exactly-routine oil change for granted. Whether it's surprising or not, I am generally not that bad about preventative maintenance and ensuring repairs are done as needed. Oil changes though? I could do better.

I said all that to say that today's top priority was getting my dear little Subie a well-overdue oil change! Not just that, but she got 2 brand new tires, an alignment and a full internal/external wash & detailing. That girl got pampered today! She wasn't the only one; Lexi got her fair share of attention today, too. It was definitely a day dedicated to the cars we've been blessed to have. 

lexi getting a bath...

It was a beautiful day outside. We're in the last couple days of January, and as we adventured out for a day of local tourism, we couldn't help but laugh at the masses of like-minded folks, clad in tshirts, shorts and even a few sandals were sighted! 

It would've been easy to commit today to a marathon of TV shows, lounging, perhaps packing for this upcoming move, or any number of other things, but it felt good to get out and about, contrary to what I'd originally thought I wanted to do today. Haha. Our city, Cincinnati, was wholly appreciated today, as we journeyed across 275, 52, 50, 28 and 125, and drank in everything from downtown to the east end. We didn't make it north, but the quality time I got to spend with Rob will supercede the fact that we spent the afternoon tucked in the car ;). 

We're home now, after a dinner of hibachi, sushi and edamame. 

Tomorrow is the first official meeting for June's SonRise Panama trip, aka Panama, Part II!!! I am beyond excited for this, and am praying there will be a healthy turnout of folks who are interested and able to join in. From what I've heard, it sounds like this trip may be a bit more mild than last year, with less physically-demanding hikes and seclusion; hopefully that provides a more conducive opportunity for a diverse collection of our church family to join in. 

See you bright & early tomorrow! 

xo | cmd

Sunday Funday

We started off Ali's departure day with church. I was super excited to do so, since she usually has to head out suuuper early to be back for whatever role she's playing at her own church that day. It was a beautiful service, with beautiful people, and we walked out feeling that much closer to our goals of knowing our God more and more every day. 

We managed to do a second take on the selfie, that didn't really work out as planned yesterday while we were at the splash pad. #FINALLY! hahaha

love this gal! 

It was off to lunch after that, with the ever-entertaining Sydni as the main attraction while we ate. I swear, you get one quesadilla into this kid and this is what happens...

She's. hilarious.. hahah. Between the flower in her hair, kicking off her shoes, some strangely adapted version of clogging and the rest of the routine that she created in her head, I can't help but wonder what I ever did before her. My life was a stark [and boring] thing pre-Sydni; I'm sure of that much. Haha...

Finally it was time to do the "see ya soon" thing; Ali packed up her gear and jumped on the road, leaving Rob and me with the decision of what to do with the afternoon. Sydni decided for us, when she sat down for "just a second" and woke up about 2 hours later after a much-needed snooze. We followed suit with her, and after rubbing the nap sleepies out of our eyes, we took to the yard to pull some weeds, mow the lawn and examine our pumpkin plant that's flourishing through the front garden.

And NOW, we are here, noses buried 12 tabs deep in Google Chrome doing wedding research for next year... The fun continues! ;) 

I'd better get back to work.. hahaa..

xo | cmd

Quick Visits with Nana & Pappy!

It was a muggy morning as we headed off to church, but the blessings for the effort came tenfold as we sat and let Pastor Chad feed us the message of the day. We continued through the life stories laid out in the book of Genesis, this time focusing on Jacob and his brother Esau. As I sat in the sanctuary with Rob, I let the moments of humility take over me, through the life lessons absorbed by Jacob.

After church, Rob and I headed home, where we did what Sundays declare: Relax. It wasn't much, but at the same time it was everything. We curled up together in the corner of the couch like we usually do, and just sat.. together. I said a prayer of unfiltered gratitude for the 'here and now' that was a stark  contrast to the 'then and there' this same time last week. My best friend should be in much rougher condition right now, but he isn't and there's no one to thank for that other than the one who made us all in the first place.

In a couple hours, my parents and Sydni pulled up to the house; Sydni came bursting in with a tupperware container filled with two rocks: one big and one small. The big one was painted with a flower, which was for Rob and me, and other, with a red and yellow "rainbow," for her. We said our formalities and visited for a few brief moments before we were out the door lunch at Fire House.

My family cracks me up. First, my dad and Sydni, dueling it out over lunch with their thumb wars. Sydni's starting to learn and apply new strategies to try and beat everyone; she's a crafty little thing!!

it's all out war! 

Hahaha. THEN, there's my mom, who brought along pictures from their mini getaway, but for some reason also brought with her some gems she resurrected from the archives of her in her 30's. I hate to say it, but blonde just wasn't your color, Mama. She agrees with me, but regardless, my mama was a babe! Haha..

then & now! :) 

As encouragement for her to get back in and stay in the water, Nana & Pappy got Sydni some new eyewear:

this chick... hahaha

It's been storming on and off all day, and although it was a downpour when we got to the restaurant, it stopped by the time we were finished. Mom and Dad headed their separate way, and we journied on home for an evening of catch up after Syd's vacation up in the Vern.

I spent a small part of the evening doing some meal prep for the week, which relaxes my mind in the present and gives me the assurance that we're both eating well throughout the week, too.

nommmssss

all packed up & ready to go! 

It wasn't long until the boxes from the smoker turned themselves into a "house," and then that house somehow merged with another box and became a bigger house, complete with curtains and a window.

These are the things I miss when she's not here, and these are the things that that I needed more than I realized, especially after the events of last week and the recovery from them throughout this week.

We're home :)

xo | cmd

Family Boating Day

We've launched into a new series of lessons today at SonRise, and I think it's really gonna be a good one! Cheers to Genesis, one of the most understated books of the Bible, and all that it holds for us if we really dig into it the way we should!

lovin' it! :) 

After church, we made a beeline back to the house and packed our gear, for a day out on the lake.

Raft and all, we made a day of it!

my girl 

my guy

an action shot! 

This girl cracks me up... 

Today was the first time Syd & I really tested out the raft together, & I must say it was a pretty good time! 

We're into our second season of boating lessons for Sydni, too - I'm wholly convinced that she'll have this down before long... especially if she stays at this pace.

It goes without saying, but should be reiterated basically all the time, that this guy is the reason behind days like this - this guy that I don't deserve, is the rock and reason behind fun days like this. He works his tail off every day to share with us and make sure that we not only live a good life, but that we can sprinkle in some extras to go with it. I'm marrying up here, folks. ♥

A day in the sun made for one tuckered out kiddo, so we were as quick as possible on the ride home, as we stopped off for some groceries before continuing on home for dinner, laundry and time to wind down.

It's gonna be a summer of sights much like these - I can tell already!

Have a BEAUTIFUL week, friends!

xo | cmd 

Our Little Sunday

Church started off the day for this family, and to mirror Pastor Jeff's message on being prayerFULL with the intent of living full lives, this little girl brought the beauty to life in my life for the morning. Clad from head to toe in hues of pink & purple, she insisted [which is rare for her, given my never-ending requests for photo-ready smiles] on having her picture snapped atop a stone staircase in the far parking lot. 

I can't get over how much love I have for this kid. 

We splurged for lunch, stopping by Dickie's on the outskirts of Anderson for some BBQ & soft serve.

yes pleaaase! 

After lunch, it was on home to revel a bit in the USWNT U-23 team victory over England in the Four Worlds Tournament! It's World Cup Season, which naturally focuses the spotlights on the men & womens' cup teams, but that shouldn't discount the U-teams :). After all, they're the future of our National Team!

us u-23 wnt! 

I have a feeling it's gonna be another busy week, but I think this time, I'm ready for it :)
See ya there!

xo | cmd

Hammock Epidemic | USWNT USAvMEX

It was a late night for Rob & Dillon last night, so I headed off for the early SonRise service solo to start the day. I missed last week, and so found myself in week 2 of a new series: Prayfull [yes, spelling intended].

Chad did an excellent job standing in for our senior pastor in his absence today, and I left re-set for this upcoming week. 

The boys were barely stirring when I returned back, so I strung up the hammock for a bit while I waited. It wasn't long before they both appeared at the front door; Dillon was packed up and ready to hit the road for the 5-hour trip back to Illinois. We sent him off with safe travel wishes; we'll be heading that way this upcoming weekend for our monthly IL visit, so it won't be long until we see him again.

I lapsed back into the hammock for just shy of another hour, before the natural urge to do something productive got the best of me. I dragged Rob with me for a trip to the hardware store and grocery shopping - quick errands out before circling back home. 

new ropes! you know what that means.... 

After lunch, we decided to put Rob's new ENO up for a trial run in my newly-claimed hammock spot. He... loved it. I'm spreading the hammock epidemic into the few unreached corners of my network, and it's pretty awesome to see the reactions ;). 

#perfect! 

To counterbalance such a relaxing day, I tuned in for the night to the USWNT USA v MEX game, to of course cheer on my favs. I thought this would be something of a routine action, except I forgot that I have Time Warner Cable. TWC is the worst service provider I've ever had, and not only did I miss the game itself as it was airing, I explicitly set my DVR to record it, only to later find that that didn't work, either.

Thank goodness for YouTube... & thanks A-HOLE bunch, TWC. >:[ 

*Sigh. There are worse things, I know.. But c'mon. Messing with soccer? Are you crazy?


At least the game was visible somehow :)

That's all I've got folks. It's back to the grind tomorrow.

Ciao!

xo | cmd