Buon Compleanno, Mamma!

IT'S MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY! 

look at that hair! ;) 

I'm not the kid that can say she and her mom have always been best friends. We fought a lot in my formative years, but here's the deal: she didn't then, hasn't since and I'm fairly certain never will not have my back. She's fought for me every day of my life, even before I was born (because yenno, adoption). She made sacrifices I can't imagine making, to be sure that the child she chose - not birthed - would have a well-rounded life. She invested in me with everything she had, and even though we can agree now that the good intentions didn't always hit their mark, they were there. Even when I felt most alone growing up, she was there. She is always, always there.

I wanted to say some things about her - my mom. 

The first of those things is this: My mom is  not the perfect mom. She never has been. She won't ever be. HOWEVER, the fact remains that she started that journey almost an entire year after her child was born. If you're anything other than blind, you've understood that I'm adopted; by definition alone that means that I am not her biological-born, and so the choices she made on my behalf were, in my eyes, just that much more intentional. She had none of it figured out when I got here. She didn't have to. My mom is the type of person who shines even brighter after moments of failure or mistake. I've never met anyone who so thoroughly uses a setback as an opportunity to do and be better on the next chance. That's been a hallmark of her personality for as long as I've known her, and from what I hear from my family, long before that. 

Another thing: My mom is the epitomy of the finite balance between endless positivity and an almost annoying air caution. I don't know how she achieves both so fully. She chooses to find the light in everything, even if that light is a buried underdog in the battle. In the same breath, she's warning me to check my fruits and vegetables for pesticides and not to use toxic chemicals when I clean the areas my pets and family might use. She has an unwavering smile through it all, as though the sun being out in the sky is the best thing since the sun existing in the first place. 

And then.. she's been the logistics coordinator and structural brain of our family for years, and is still somehow hilariously and adorably aloof. 2017 was the year she and my dad finally emerged from the leashes of FLIP PHONES, and went straight to smart phones. I now get to hear her say things like, "Oh, I just love the Google." 

Us too, Mom. Us too. 

If ever there was a non-celebrity human being who invested herself into the well-being of others around her before herself, it's my mom. She's a professional samaritan, which by proxy is likely one of the biggest contributors to her endless supply of joy. Oh, and if you've known my mom for more than 5 minutes, you'll know that that compassion is distributed in this order: Animals, Family, Food (aka, for everyone else). Those legends you hear about animal activists in the 70's with clipboard petitions to save caged pigeons are not just tall tales. That was her, in all her Farrah hair and bell-bottom prime. She channeled that into 20+years as the president of our hometown humane society, and has every ounce of credit for surrounding me with vets, trainers and breed advocates who taught me the fundamentals of animal well-being. I assisted in my first hands-on feline spaying surgery when I was 9, and was pulling rounds of deer ticks off stray dogs for multiple-hour sessions in my garage by the age of 11. I could recite the foster-to-adopt program by heart before I finished middle school, and it's because my mom was (is!) so passionate about any creature - 2 or 4+ legged, who don't have their own voice. 

Lastly (for purposes of this blog, but certainly not lastly in general), my mom is HAPPY. She is happy with the life she's built, with what she's lost and what she's gained. The joy that is in her eyes isn't fake. It's not forced. It's there because she obliged her passion for adventure and loving others. For being a part of a community, a family, a business, or an excursion. She's happy because the things she's poured herself into were not always rewarding, but then when they were, it was tenfold. She is happy because she has surrounded herself with people who share her beliefs and her passions, and who continue to encourage and keep her accountable to her goals. And she's happy because she still has goals. My mom is genuinely happy with her life and what it has given and continues to give her. Our running joke is that she'll be the one still riding her bike 13 miles a day at 212 years old, when we're long gone. I mean, it's unlikely, but we'll see ;). 

Mom, you deserve every bit of love and light today. I love you to the moon & back.

Happy Birthday ♥

xo  | cms

Catching Up on 2017...

Well hello, old friend.

It's been exactly 4 months yesterday, since the last time I came here to scribble something - and if I remember correctly, it was something menial. Let me open this then with a bitter admission: I've accepted the fact that my days of blogging for the dual purpose of chronological time-mapping [for my future self] and flexing my penmanship.... are long gone.

Because not all change is bad, right?

I'm not sure where it came from, but I've felt a weird tug for the past couple of weeks that it was time to revisit this blog and just start writing. If there's anything I've learned about myself in the past 30+ years, it's to never ignore that tug. This morning, I didn't have one singular thing weighing on my mind, rather that weird cloud of all the things that just sort of hung around the outskirts of my thoughts. By the afternoon, smaller, focused thoughts, and by the time I left the gym tonight, I was floating in a mental pond of Cori.

.... what a wretched analogy, sorry.

So let's see. Since the end of March alone, the universe has taken full liberty of reminding me that what I have planned is a laughable rough draft of what I'll get. My agenda has very little to do with my life in realtime, other than positioning myself at a when-and-where.... and even that's iffy.

damanji. ♥ you, friend! 

For starters, immediately after my last entry, Damanji shipped off to Turkey for the next year[ish]. We dressed up as mannequins from a Gadzook's display and sent him off with a night of drinks, dancing and a blur of 90s-inspired plaid and Converse. Born from that were some new friendships [both a broccoli-hater AND a Liverpool fan made the ranks, I KNOW, it's been a weird year...], rehashing favorite old memories and accepting that Damanji won't be physically around to annoy and humor us for at least the next 11 months.

And then Angela moved to Boston.
And Nick to Croatia.
And Megan to Ecuador.
At least Becky came back from New Mexico, even if it's just for the Summer.

Speaking of Summer, I can't remember the last time one felt like such a blur.... of everything. 
Here's [more for my future recollection of and proof that I didn't zone wholly out for the duration of] Spring & Summer 2017, as they've transpired so far:

April: Damanji's 90's themed going away party was the perfect kickoff, complete with friends, libations and really loud bass speakers :).

ali. shawn. cori

♥♥

A few weeks later, Ali celebrated her birthday by spending it here in Cincinnati, and a small host of some other favorite friends moved away, varying from temporary to full scale relocation. At the barking protest of my pride, I resumed physical therapy after intentionally avoiding it for.... a while, and found that although I now have one of the best DNS wizards in this hemisphere, I still. hate. PT. Oh, and the Fountain in our driveway has been officially traded in for an Eliminator, because ya know, it's practical to own a Catamaran when you live in Ohio. 

matching tattoos.. because that is what we do...
happy birthday, ali!! ♥♥

May: I returned to Panama with Chris and a roster of 13 other people from Ohio, Vermont and Arkansas who rendezvoused in the Atlanta airport 24 hours before we embarked on a pack-hike into the remote mountains of Balsa, Panama for a week. Run on sentence, you're welcome. We spent that week constructing a physical church building, under the direction of a foreman whose approval of any given task could be determined only by whether or not he was shaking his head at you. A good exercise of trust building in a team setting - I've found - is to incorporate 3 languages, 3 countries and 3 separate U.S. states' worth of team members onto one construction site, provide them with gas generators, power tools and a living blueprint [aforementioned foreman], with the understanding that this structure will be mapped out and finished within four days. An OSHA rep would've been escorted off this site, likely by an ambulatory pack-mule, from the heart attack they would've suffered trying to document this project. BUT, for and by the Glory of God, it came together at the midnight hour, and I had the honor  of singing praise music next to one of my best friends [for the first time], in the first service ever held in the new Balsa church. Not a bad trip. In other May news leading up to Panama, Sydni finished 2nd grade, lost a tooth that same day, and we spent much of the month catching up with family and friends. 

our favorite 2nd 3rd grader!! 

climbing with kalyn & brian | red river gorge, ky

hang times with jennica | columbus & dayton, oh

family biking | loveland, oh

panama 2017

June: The Employee Month of the Year as the count should stand, derived from my entirely made-up metric system: Surprise Factor, Relief Induction, Joy Increasing and Overall Mental Health Appreciation. I returned from Panama with my usual post-missions acute awareness of just how much stuff we have, and talking myself off the ledge of donating everything but the clothes we need for the week. Fortunately, that tirade was lessened by a trip to Chicago for a book festival & Britta's birthday, followed by a long weekend at Norris Lake with some of our favorite friends from Illinois. Oh, and lest we forget that in between those two, I got myself kicked off a sinking ship by the tempest itself, and found myself onboard a 5-star ocean liner the next week. Yeah, I know it was a crap analogy, but it was a crap situation that did a cartwheel and ended up better than ever, so whevs. Life on the professional front did a full reset, which forced me to realize how poorly I'd been just existing before everything changed. Another one of my best friends wound up here in Cincinnati for her birthday, which we celebrated in true Mare & Cori fashion: a soccer game, a piercing session, food, laughing, coffee... and more coffee.

britta boooo's birthday!! ♥ | chicago, il 

norris lake 2017 | norris lake, tn
cori. jess. taryn. liz. rob. matt. kenny. jesse.

♥ happy birthday, mare!! | cincinnati, oh

work fam :)
jess. stef. cori. chris. [missing deb]. tonya. rami. kelley. nick. ashley. brandi

nick & rami! ♥
[taken 7.13.17 ;) ]

July: I fully immersed myself back into my old-but-new job, realizing to no small amount of surprise least once every couple years. I've just accepted this as who I am at this point - perpetually scattered :).
just how neglectful I had been of my inner well-being where my professional life was concerned. Rob's birthday came around, which put us in Illinois for a weekend bash with some of our favorites. It happened to be the same week that Nick & Rami (two of my coworkers) had their wedding! Sydni and her friend Mattie had their first weekend sleepover here at the house, and I managed somehow to lose my entire wallet somewhere between the grocery checkout and my house. Don't worry guys, this is like an annual thing for me at point. Fortunately, everything was handled quickly, and with the exception of an MIA Kate Spade, all is well. OH, and July was the month we really kicked it into gear with the FC games. Now that Cincinnati has its own USL (we're aiming for MLS) team, we now have something to do every random night of the week and weekend ;).

2017 objective: pet all the dogs. these are matt's.

birthday bash for rob's 31st!

liz! 

alejandraaaaa .. or ali, if you're a regular mundane ;) 

jay & cindy came out too! 

ladies ♥

ridiculousness, in motion.

Oh, and some certain folks went and got baptized this month, too.. but that deserves a separate entry, so give me a few more days to rally all those pictures :). 

So that brings us to now, in a nutshell. I've said before that I'll be more consistent in daily updates, and after having written just this one day's slew of stuff-scattered as it is, I know- reminds me why I need to flex the blog muscles at least weekly, and eventually daily, like before.

I promise I'll start stringing together more cohesive trains of words and thoughts, too, once I get back into the rhythm of this without a 4-month hiatus.

Thanks for tuning in, blogbots :)

xo | cms

T-Minus FOUR MONTHS: The Bridal Gals

Ya'll..... we're down to FOUR MONTHS on the dot. Whoaaa! 

#tribe!

I thought it appropriate for the four-month countdown marker to take a brief second and introduce ya'll to the ladies who'll be by my side in October when Rob and I tie the knot. This isn't relevant info for a lot of you, I know, but I'm proud to call these women part of my tribe, so it's a credit-where-due thing.. just bear with me! 

Drum rollllllll...

Ladies & Gentlemen... My TRIBE! 

Maricor | Matron of Honor

If you have one of those friends that can make you laugh over something just by making eye contact, then you'll get [for the most part] the relationship I have with Maricor. Oh, and she's my cousin, so there's that, too. She's one of my first and oldest friends, and she compliments me in the areas where I fall short. Sometimes I look back on our lives together and apart - we've never managed to live in the same city for more than 6 months, I laugh at how long it took me to realize that she led a parallel life oftentimes to mine so that I would have someone to lean on to justify or reason through whatever emotions, joy, doubt and fear I may've had along the way. There's not a single life milestone that seems to go by without sharing it with her, and I'm not about to start now! Cousin, best friend, makeup artist extraordinaire. The list goes on and on, but in October, she'll be my matron of honor and I'm so proud to have her up there.

Becky | Maid of Honor 

This woman's had my back since I was a freshman in college, and she hasn't stopped since. There are role models and good examples, and then there's Becky. It's rare to say that a single person has legitimately, literally saved your life, but I can say that about her, and to this day I will owe her more that I'd ever be able to express in a single blog entry. She was a guardian angel for me through the unusual college experience I had, and hasn't stopped being there for me since then. We've shared plenty of laughter, an equal amount of tears and heartache and a mutual love for prayer and of the great wide wilderness to heal and rehabilitate the soul afterwards. From long talks as we hiked our way over miles of the Appalachian Trail, to the backyard camping outings at your parents', I am not the same person I was before, but a much better one after. I owe her so much more than a spot in my bridal party, but for now, I hope she'll make do with Matron of Honor.

Heidi | Bridesmaid

What's better than being adopted? Having a sister who's also adopted! One of the things that weighs often on the psyche of adopted kids is that gray what if? area that hasn't and won't ever be answered about what our alternative life would've been like if we'our home countries, families, cultures had been all we'd ever known. Biologically, I was born into a family of double digit sibling count; as an adopted child, I was raised an only child. There was always a subtle ache that couldn't be quite thoroughly appeased... until Heidi. She is more my sister than I could imagine anyone being, from the way we think, to the way we agree on nail polish colors and how to hand wash dishes. She amazes me with her youthful, carefree but discerning approach to life that I often envy, and am constantly impressed at how she embraces the simplest beauty around her. To top it off, she's raised 3 children to adulthood without strangling any of them [or herself], and I am just.. taking notes for the future ;) I love you, sister, and I am honored to have you up there with me! 

Marianne | Bridesmaid

Yes, I was a tomboy growing up. I had my dolls, yes, and my dresses and my sparkly nail polish. What I also had was a neighborhood and family brimming with boys and boy things, from dirt and worms to battle-scarred action figures, Barbies missing hair & limbs, every Nerf toy created in the 90's and a healthy track record of scrapes, bruises and unexplained grass stains. I envied the girls who had lots of other girl friends, and awhile I had a few good ones throughout high school, I really never got it when it came to girls and their tribes. Marianne is most definitely part of my tribe. I've learned so much in the short 4+ years now that I've known  her, about overcoming adversity as a woman, recovering from the deep, dark emotional wounds as a human, and relentlessly pursuing your life's dreams in the way of someone you'd want your children looking up to. Whether it's that 8th cup of coffee we're both on, or a 10-mile hike through the woods with only our cameras making conversation, she's helped me grow as a person and realize that I am enough for exactly who I am and who I am not. Bridesmaid? I think so! 

Kalyn | Bridesmaid

There's a chapter of my life that many of you already know is very much closed in many ways, and I have no interest in revisiting it. Though it's a season of my life well-respected for the hard-fought lessons I learned as a result, there were some absolute trophies I gained from it. Sydni, of course being the biggest, but a friendship forged that I've treasured since the day it started. Kalyn is the free spirit, fiercely devoted sister/daughter to her family, creative genius and fun-loving center of attention that never fails to unite the like-minded for a good time. We laugh a lot over the happenings, the drama, the irony and mostly the characters in that closed chapter [yeah, it's closed for both of us.. haha], but looking back at it, again, I know the road back to finding myself would've been a lot harder without her. She's an adventurer, so much like the other phenomenal women I'm proud to call my tribe; she loves the outdoors, can climb anything in the gorge & beyond, and will be there when you need her. This may not be our cross-country road trip from Ohio to Phoenix, but it'll be a party on its own in October & I'm super pumped to have her as a bridesmaid!

Brittany | Bridesmaid

Not only is she Kalyn's sister, she's one of my favorite women! It seems some days like it's been ages since her wedding, when I was honored to stand with her and Wayne as they exchanged vows. Other days it feels like it was just last weekend! I don't see this gal nearly as much as I wish I could, but that's only because she's four states away making big moves and showing South Carolina what a woman in charge can bring to the office! She's paving her career and chasing her dreams as a successful business woman, wife and southern belle! I love Brittany because she's that perfect mixture of someone who remembers her roots and embraces everything new that comes her way. She was the girl who came back from a shattered wrist and provided me encouragement and humor while I recovered from a shattered collarbone. She's the witty, sassy, organized friend that every girl needs and wants, but is rarely fortunate enough to have. It was a true blessing and a terrific time being a part of her wedding party, and I can't wait to have her as part of mine as a bridesmaid! 

Ali | Bridesmaid

Oh goshhh.. Last, but far from being least! Ali is my favorite Ginger, for reasons that far exceed the obvious fact that she is in fact a redhead. I met Ali through work, and the rest is history. I'm a firm believer that the people in our lives are put there for one of three distinct reasons: to teach us something, to become a permanent part of our lives, or to introduce us to things and/or other people that then become permanent fixtures. Ali is all three of those. She has a heart on fire for Christ; the strength and resolve of her faith and hope are admirable, and for that alone I have an enormous amount of respect for her. As a friend, she's been miles away from me for a couple of years now, but never further than a text or a phone call. She's candid, honest and tells me what I need to hear in instances where most people would just slide by telling me what I want to hear. We've built an impressive foundation in the short time I've known her [what, like going on 5 years now?], but I couldn't imagine life without, and that's precisely why I couldn't imagine this life moment without her.

Maricor, my cousin. 

Becky, my advisor. 

Heidi, my sister. 

Marianne, my soul sister. 

Kalyn, my fellow wanderluster. 

Brittany, my professional goal. 

Ali, my ginger counterpart! 

Assembling the ideal troop of equally-bizarre, quirky and absolutely wonderful in their own individual ways women was an easier concept to imagine than to execute for me -- or so I thought. Now that I'm here, staring down the last 4 months of pre-wedding everything, I can't envision doing this without these women and the rest of the our family and friends who've supported us so far and so much. These ladies are incredibly dear to my heart, and while they're not the only ones I would coin as such, I am truly and immeasurably grateful that they will be standing by me in October. ♥

Four. Months. To. Go.
Whoa.

xo | cmd 

Sunday Fun Day in ChiTown USA...

I momentarily forgot where I was again this morning when I opened my eyes, but was immediately reminded that the city awaited us on the other side of the window, 31 stories below:

sunday in the chicago atmosphere

Departure mornings are always a test of initiative, memory, checklisting, communication and the ability to play travel tetris with your luggage, pillows, etc. so you can haul it all in one trip without the bellboy's help. At least that's how it was for us this morning, trying to drag ourselves out of bed, put ourselves together to look mildly human, pack all of our things in a makeshift sense of semblence and then leave the hotel room without leaving anything... behind.

It's a miracle we remembered where the car was parked.

As challenging as the check out process can be, the drive up to Southport Ave. was the complete opposite:

blue skies cruise, a marina and miles of happy people enjoying the day! 

Speaking of happy people, I think we were ALL happy when Britta descended from her apartment a few blocks away to join us for brunch at Southport & Irving! I'd told her I'd love to see her while we were in the city, but I really didn't expect her to come dressed just like Ali.. haha. 

No seriously, I can confidently say that Britta and I hold the record for the shortest amount of time taken for two strangers to become instant friends, but Ali and Britta just came in a close 2nd. I mean the two of them practically dressed like twins, without even a chance to plan it.  

instafriends! 

french toast, ya'll..
southport & irving | chicago, il 

We ate, we laughed, and we snapchatted. Ali & Damanji are officially SC Assassins in my book; they both managed to get some fantastically troll-esque captures of me. Damanji took the liberties of drafting a side-by-side comparison, and I've gotta say, he's not wrong...

grampy troll... and cori. :0|

more snappy fun.. these are reactions to some of the questions our table
received in the span of the hour we were there.. 

After Southport, we traveled just around the riverbend! CORNER.. to GingerSnap; it's a place Ali found online and committed us to because it says Ginger, and because she is the lens behind GingerSnap Photography. So it makes sense. Right? Right.

it's like the place was made for her! 

reunited!! 

In case you missed what I said about Britta & Ali dressing up like twins, there's this nicely posed sorority picture as proof: 

twinsies! 

Damanji & I have been pretending all weekend that we're as hipster as we feel, so we seized this opportunity to do something hipsterish, in the doorways [to the soul] on this street, illuminated by the light of a thousand serenading high-efficiency lightbulbs. Or something. 

you look so.... pensive

Q: How many hipsters does it even take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's a number you probably haven't heard of yet...

deep in thought about life, the universe, and probably donuts.... 

Q: How many kale smoothies did I drink before this picture? 

A: I'll build you the answer out of upcycled pallets. Stay tuned.

yayyy for friends! ♥♥

We finally said our see-ya-later's to Britta, and loaded up for the trip back to Naperville. From there, it was quick hello's and farewell's to the family,l and then Damanji and I were back in our separate cars, bound respectively for STL & Cinci. 

At least it was as beautiful day for a drive! 

don't skip these, kids... don't skip these. 

almost there :) 

they're much prettier in the daytime! 

Happy birthday, Ali... I hope you had the best birthday yet, and I miss the fun already! It was such a fun weekend meeting some new faces and reuniting with the familiar ones! 

See you on the flipside, blogbots..

xo | cmd