35 Years Strong

January 2, 1982:

Rick & Sandy got married. 

They got married. They chose to commit their entire lives to the sacrifice, service & love of the other, vowing to put everything they had, into them. 

These are two people that adopted a little orphaned girl from the other side of the world. They have loved outside of themselves since before they were even they, and I became the product of a love that was willing to reach across oceans. 

These are two people who diligently played their respective roles as responsible adults in a world that could have caved in at any point. At one point, for him, it did, in a way. They fought tirelessly not to maintain a lifestyle, but to prove to the world and to themselves that they would not be broken, swayed or ill-manipulated. They lived life not perfectly, but honestly and with heart. 

These are two people who gave, and gave, and gave.. and then gave some more to those around them. And they haven't stopped! They delight in service, and find joy when they have played a part in enhancing the world around them for the benefit of someone else. 

These are two people who love all creatures, and believe in loving everything in exactly the season they've found it - whether it be a person in a dark season, or a sick animal. They have loved unconditionally, they have restored, and they have accepted. 

These are two people whose resolve to live clean, and be healthy. Their bodies are in no way reflective of what the number on paper says. They are diligent, dedicated and accountable in ways that are contagious to those around them. 

These are two people whose faith precedes them. They have been shown firsthand that where there is a will, there is a way, and that HIS will is always the best way. They have allowed themselves to be taught, mentored and loved in faith. 

And these are two people who today are celebrating 35 years of everything that is them: The beautiful moments and the ones that terrified them into sleepless nights filled with tears prayers. These are my parents, and these are two of undoubtedly the most phenomenal people I will ever know. 

Happy Anniversary, you two. May love always win ♥

xo | cmd

She Loves - Series Day 1: Everyday Encouragement

You guys.

It's been over a month since I last published an entry on here. That doesn't sound like much, but I was the girl committed to myself in an effort to visit my e-journal daily, if for no other purpose than for revisiting it later on if I was curious as to what I was doing a year ago on whatever day. Yeah, that's a silly reason, I know, but if I told you it had never helped me out in a moment of memory lapse, well, that'd be a lie. So I've struggled with the big old first world problem of lack of blog time, over really the last year or so. It's more to me than just a blog, really, it's the idea of journaling in general that I've back-burnered all together. Over the past week though, I went out and purchased a composition notebook, and forced myself to sit in complete silence until something..anything.. came out of the pen.

And I realized that my busy schedule wasn't the only issue. I could literally only think of meatless, surface things to say. Don't get me wrong, that's not always a bad thing, but there exists a span of years: 28plus, to be exact - of my life in which I was an avid, consistent journaler, both on paper and then in an e-format as well. I favor at times blogging, because both my mind and my typing fingers partner together at about triple the speed of my writing fingers.

That's my backwards way of apologizing to an audience that I guarantee doesn't really care about the fact that I haven't been keeping up with my daily blogs. Let's face it, it's really not this big of a deal.. *wry laugh. #firstworldproblems #ijustusedahashtagoutsideofinstagram....#again.

Whatever. So UPDATES, huh? What the heck have I been doing?
Well, as I scrolled back through the handful of entries I made between June and mid-September, I think for the most part, life has been a blur, but of the same things on repeat: Sydni's soccer games and practices, work day in and day out, volleyball, road trips, family and friends as much as life allows these days.

OH, and yeah.. that little detail that we GOT MARRIED!

mr. & mrs. stokes | est 08 Oct 2016

And gosh.. what a day that was! (When I get more pictures back, I'll for sure make a retro entry, because it was awesome and then some!) Here I am a day shy of 2 weeks after, feeling both like the wedding day was yesterday and yet a lifetime ago. The collection of married people we know all said that the day flies right by, and unfortunately I've been there once before to know that much can be true, but honestly, while our day did come and go in a flash, we made sure to live in every moment, and for that, it was the exact amount of time we needed.

Afterwards, we came home, back to real life, our house, our adult responsibilities, our dogs, our jobs and our life together now as a husband and wife. It is so similar to "before," and yet so different, which, if I'm honest, kinda baffles me, since our 'regular' life didn't really change. And yet... here I am, feeling more in love with this guy than I did yesterday, and a multitude of other sappy cliched amorous feelings toward my husband. Must be a newly-wed thing ;). 

Then last week-ish, I stumbled across a list of Bible verses geared towards women, compiled [careful not to say written.. haha] by a Marisa Donnelly, on ThoughtCatalog.com, a website I'd literally never heard of before. She'd tracked down 27 verses that had spoken to her - after reading it, it's actually 26, but one of them was listed twice in two different translations. It hit me that in the past, any seasons of writer's block I experienced were more easily dissuaded when I turned back to Scripture and opened my heart and mind to whatever application was tied to my life - in all its mess & beauty. 

So I've arrived now at the reason I finally opened the blog today. I have a renewed sense of reason and purpose to be on here, and I'm excited for it. I wanted to go down Marisa's list of verses, one at a time, one-a-day, and remind myself why I needed that verse, that day. We'll see if that holds true; while I read through the entire list once, I don't have it memorized, so each day will be something of a surprise, I guess? 

And five novels later [sorry], here we go: 

Psalm 46:5 - God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. (NIV)

Sidenote:  For those of you who've never cracked open a Bible before, I implore you to maybe find a Christian - a real-life, imperfect, broken, compassionate, every day Christian - and just... get to know them. Sure, some of the Bible is daunting, and at first glance might look like a manuscript of rules and regulations, but I can assure you, there is so. much. more to it. And If I happen to be that really screwed up, sin-ridden but undeservedly-loved Christian you need to talk to, you let me know.. and I'll let you know just how normal you probably are ;)! Adversely, for those of you who have this postered all over your house on everything from wall decals to coffee mugs, well, it's a good one.

Not the first time I've seen this verse, and it's admittedly not one of my "go-to's," either. It does however, apply in more than one way. See, at first glance, this is one of those lines that I see all over the place, usually in the context of an encouragement card or confidence boost for someone facing a difficult time. It carries that kind of absolute hope & strength of God's steadfast support for when we are tripping over ourselves and other people on our way to not drowning in hard times. It's [ok, most of these are, if I remember.. ] a feel-good verse for sure, and I'll admit I've leaned on it once or twice over the years. 

BUT, as I re-read it today to start this mini-series of my own, I realized that I personally will draw more depth from this if I remember that it applies to me on my very.best.day.EVER... as well as the days I feel like melted plastic. Seriously though: The past week and a half have been ah-mazing - work has gone smoothly, our home life has felt renewed since the wedding, we've had good fortune with cars and house and pets and kid and health and aaaall the pieces have just fallen into and stayed securely in place. And I wake up feeling positive about the little piece of time I have in this world, to recall this verse - this promise that the Lord of all creation is also with me?! To be not reminded, but re-assured, really, that He loves me.. loves my husband, loves my family, my marriage, my well-being and my mission as a human to share His calibur love? That HE is the timeless source of love, life and real, unfiltered happiness.. and that same HE.. has chosen to be with ME, and ensure that I do not fall farther than He can reach? Y'll.... just... y'all... Nobody deserves that kind of love, but the fact that we have it is pa-lenty reason to at least make an effort at a good day. 

And the effects of that realization on the good days are what will sustain me on those particularly bad days, when the ship sinks and I'm blind in dark waters with a piece of the sail stuck to my face. I've been there, you've been there, we've all been ugly crying over life & loss at some point. To fully download this verse in that moment, in the storm, really is impressive if I think about it... usually if I'm inconsolable, I'm.. well, inconsolable. You could read me every song in the book and my human sarcasm might take over, will it away as I might try. BUT, give me this guy on a day when I'm clear-headed, and it'll add to the emergency reserve I'll need when the rain comes. 

I don't know if today's a good day, or a bad day for you, or if you've got a well-balanced mix of them like I do. I don't know if you're here reading this because you're in a dry spell of bad luck, nasty people and pressure to fix things out of your control, or if you're sailing through reading this because you were curious. Or, if anyone's reading this at all. I said earlier that really, these are for tomorrow me to come back and read, when the time is right and I need reminded that a little thread of lucidity did exist that one time on a Friday. But wherever you are, and whatever season you're in, I'm pretty sure we could all use a little encouragement, to fill the tank. 

Happy WEEKEND, blogbots. 

xo | cms <<< and that's new, too.. yiee!

25 Days [Future Husband]

Today was a pretty busy day, not with anything particularly memorable, other than it marks exactly 25 days until my wedding!

Don't worry folks, I'll soon be done with wedding talk, but for now...

♥ him! 

He's my person, my better half and soon-to-be sharer of his last name ♥.
I.. can't... wait.

Cheers!

xo | cmd 

T-Minus FOUR MONTHS: The Bridal Gals

Ya'll..... we're down to FOUR MONTHS on the dot. Whoaaa! 

#tribe!

I thought it appropriate for the four-month countdown marker to take a brief second and introduce ya'll to the ladies who'll be by my side in October when Rob and I tie the knot. This isn't relevant info for a lot of you, I know, but I'm proud to call these women part of my tribe, so it's a credit-where-due thing.. just bear with me! 

Drum rollllllll...

Ladies & Gentlemen... My TRIBE! 

Maricor | Matron of Honor

If you have one of those friends that can make you laugh over something just by making eye contact, then you'll get [for the most part] the relationship I have with Maricor. Oh, and she's my cousin, so there's that, too. She's one of my first and oldest friends, and she compliments me in the areas where I fall short. Sometimes I look back on our lives together and apart - we've never managed to live in the same city for more than 6 months, I laugh at how long it took me to realize that she led a parallel life oftentimes to mine so that I would have someone to lean on to justify or reason through whatever emotions, joy, doubt and fear I may've had along the way. There's not a single life milestone that seems to go by without sharing it with her, and I'm not about to start now! Cousin, best friend, makeup artist extraordinaire. The list goes on and on, but in October, she'll be my matron of honor and I'm so proud to have her up there.

Becky | Maid of Honor 

This woman's had my back since I was a freshman in college, and she hasn't stopped since. There are role models and good examples, and then there's Becky. It's rare to say that a single person has legitimately, literally saved your life, but I can say that about her, and to this day I will owe her more that I'd ever be able to express in a single blog entry. She was a guardian angel for me through the unusual college experience I had, and hasn't stopped being there for me since then. We've shared plenty of laughter, an equal amount of tears and heartache and a mutual love for prayer and of the great wide wilderness to heal and rehabilitate the soul afterwards. From long talks as we hiked our way over miles of the Appalachian Trail, to the backyard camping outings at your parents', I am not the same person I was before, but a much better one after. I owe her so much more than a spot in my bridal party, but for now, I hope she'll make do with Matron of Honor.

Heidi | Bridesmaid

What's better than being adopted? Having a sister who's also adopted! One of the things that weighs often on the psyche of adopted kids is that gray what if? area that hasn't and won't ever be answered about what our alternative life would've been like if we'our home countries, families, cultures had been all we'd ever known. Biologically, I was born into a family of double digit sibling count; as an adopted child, I was raised an only child. There was always a subtle ache that couldn't be quite thoroughly appeased... until Heidi. She is more my sister than I could imagine anyone being, from the way we think, to the way we agree on nail polish colors and how to hand wash dishes. She amazes me with her youthful, carefree but discerning approach to life that I often envy, and am constantly impressed at how she embraces the simplest beauty around her. To top it off, she's raised 3 children to adulthood without strangling any of them [or herself], and I am just.. taking notes for the future ;) I love you, sister, and I am honored to have you up there with me! 

Marianne | Bridesmaid

Yes, I was a tomboy growing up. I had my dolls, yes, and my dresses and my sparkly nail polish. What I also had was a neighborhood and family brimming with boys and boy things, from dirt and worms to battle-scarred action figures, Barbies missing hair & limbs, every Nerf toy created in the 90's and a healthy track record of scrapes, bruises and unexplained grass stains. I envied the girls who had lots of other girl friends, and awhile I had a few good ones throughout high school, I really never got it when it came to girls and their tribes. Marianne is most definitely part of my tribe. I've learned so much in the short 4+ years now that I've known  her, about overcoming adversity as a woman, recovering from the deep, dark emotional wounds as a human, and relentlessly pursuing your life's dreams in the way of someone you'd want your children looking up to. Whether it's that 8th cup of coffee we're both on, or a 10-mile hike through the woods with only our cameras making conversation, she's helped me grow as a person and realize that I am enough for exactly who I am and who I am not. Bridesmaid? I think so! 

Kalyn | Bridesmaid

There's a chapter of my life that many of you already know is very much closed in many ways, and I have no interest in revisiting it. Though it's a season of my life well-respected for the hard-fought lessons I learned as a result, there were some absolute trophies I gained from it. Sydni, of course being the biggest, but a friendship forged that I've treasured since the day it started. Kalyn is the free spirit, fiercely devoted sister/daughter to her family, creative genius and fun-loving center of attention that never fails to unite the like-minded for a good time. We laugh a lot over the happenings, the drama, the irony and mostly the characters in that closed chapter [yeah, it's closed for both of us.. haha], but looking back at it, again, I know the road back to finding myself would've been a lot harder without her. She's an adventurer, so much like the other phenomenal women I'm proud to call my tribe; she loves the outdoors, can climb anything in the gorge & beyond, and will be there when you need her. This may not be our cross-country road trip from Ohio to Phoenix, but it'll be a party on its own in October & I'm super pumped to have her as a bridesmaid!

Brittany | Bridesmaid

Not only is she Kalyn's sister, she's one of my favorite women! It seems some days like it's been ages since her wedding, when I was honored to stand with her and Wayne as they exchanged vows. Other days it feels like it was just last weekend! I don't see this gal nearly as much as I wish I could, but that's only because she's four states away making big moves and showing South Carolina what a woman in charge can bring to the office! She's paving her career and chasing her dreams as a successful business woman, wife and southern belle! I love Brittany because she's that perfect mixture of someone who remembers her roots and embraces everything new that comes her way. She was the girl who came back from a shattered wrist and provided me encouragement and humor while I recovered from a shattered collarbone. She's the witty, sassy, organized friend that every girl needs and wants, but is rarely fortunate enough to have. It was a true blessing and a terrific time being a part of her wedding party, and I can't wait to have her as part of mine as a bridesmaid! 

Ali | Bridesmaid

Oh goshhh.. Last, but far from being least! Ali is my favorite Ginger, for reasons that far exceed the obvious fact that she is in fact a redhead. I met Ali through work, and the rest is history. I'm a firm believer that the people in our lives are put there for one of three distinct reasons: to teach us something, to become a permanent part of our lives, or to introduce us to things and/or other people that then become permanent fixtures. Ali is all three of those. She has a heart on fire for Christ; the strength and resolve of her faith and hope are admirable, and for that alone I have an enormous amount of respect for her. As a friend, she's been miles away from me for a couple of years now, but never further than a text or a phone call. She's candid, honest and tells me what I need to hear in instances where most people would just slide by telling me what I want to hear. We've built an impressive foundation in the short time I've known her [what, like going on 5 years now?], but I couldn't imagine life without, and that's precisely why I couldn't imagine this life moment without her.

Maricor, my cousin. 

Becky, my advisor. 

Heidi, my sister. 

Marianne, my soul sister. 

Kalyn, my fellow wanderluster. 

Brittany, my professional goal. 

Ali, my ginger counterpart! 

Assembling the ideal troop of equally-bizarre, quirky and absolutely wonderful in their own individual ways women was an easier concept to imagine than to execute for me -- or so I thought. Now that I'm here, staring down the last 4 months of pre-wedding everything, I can't envision doing this without these women and the rest of the our family and friends who've supported us so far and so much. These ladies are incredibly dear to my heart, and while they're not the only ones I would coin as such, I am truly and immeasurably grateful that they will be standing by me in October. ♥

Four. Months. To. Go.
Whoa.

xo | cmd 

♥ Mr. & Mrs. Pilic! ♥

There are a lot of pictures from today... so I won't waste time:

BREAKFAST:

we were hungry. 

^^ We had mixed reviews from the group on the quality of this breakfast, and although we all agreed that the service wasn't much to brag about, I'm happy to say I was in the camp that didn't find my food totally detestable.

After breakfast, the gang decided it would be fun to head off to the kart tracks. I was on the fence about the whole idea until I walked into the bathroom and was confronted with this:

"screw you, short people!" - this mirror 

That solidified my decision to accompany Esther to the other end of the plaza, and go to a nail salon. I haven't been in a nail salon in probably 10 years, and according to the nail tech, that's FAR TOO LONG AND [MY] CUTICLES ARE PROOF OF THAT! How dare I. How. Dare. I.

It took me 15 minutes just to tell the guy I didn't want my nails podged onto my hand [acrylics], but that I really just wanted them painted. We compromised, and he did this gel french tip manicure, which is better I suppose than having fingernails 5 inches thick with gunk. I like my natural nails, so I'm okay with this. I think. At least there was a double sunroof in the car to distract me from whatever self-doubting concerns I may have had about my nails, which was a superfluous concern to have in the first place, but whatever. I'm not the type to go to a nail salon, so do I at least get points for doing a girly thing?!

umm.. 

We finally headed back to the cabins to help the boys get dressed for pre-wedding pictures; it was cute seeing them all dressed to impress, for one of their best friend's weddings. Seriously, they looked good!

friends help friends with bowties.. 

mike. rob. dillon

work it, boys.

the groom & all the groomsmen!
rob. dillon. kenny. mike. chad 

They wouldn't be our guys if this didn't happen:

that's better.. almost didn't recognize ya'll.. haha 

off they went! 

Esther and I were back on the pool deck watching the boats cruise by when the boys headed off for pictures, and couldn't help but laugh when we turned back around 15 minutes later to find them huddled together on the back porch of the cabin: 

hideout? 

Soon enough, it was time to head over. The ceremony was on the bluffs, and there couldn't have been a better day for it! 

so pretty! 

Esther and I finally got ready, and I don't think we did too bad, either!

pretty esther! 

We took our seats and watched with the crowd as the ceremony unfolded:

the preacher, the groom & his men! 

here comes the gorgeous bride! 

It was a beautiful ceremony, complete with some funny moments, serious vows & lots of love all around. Congratulations, Mr. & Mrs. Pilic!!!! ♥♥

mr. & mrs. pilcic ♥

AND THEN COMES THE PARTY!

my handsome date! 

this hilarious moment when matt was voted in as an employee...
red or white, sir? 

this unnervingly close-to-the-edge-of-a-200-ft-cliff picture of matt... :/ 

dillon on the bluff.. that looks like a riverbank. 

these two dapper
pinterest models
bluegrass bandmates
groomsmen.

my bra strap making an appearance... jerk.. haha

future facebook cover photo for dillon.. 

with the stunning bride!! 

matt thought this was a stranger's phone.. but that's okay. 

we both look a little creepy here.. haha 

rob & ryan

congratulations, mrs. pilcic!

In the midst of the evening fun, I admittedly didn't get a ton of pictures, but I'm sure they'll surface over the next few weeks, especially when the official wedding pictures come back.

I feel quite blessed to have been included on such a beautiful day with such an awesome group of people!

Congratulations a thousand times over to the new couple.. cheers to a lifetime of love, laughter & learning.. together! ♥

Did I mention I love weddings?
#wearenext ;)

Cheers!!

xo | cmd 

Nashvegas Bound: Britt's Bach!

'Tis the seaaaason! 

Okay, well not yet, but we're quickly approaching the wedding season, and there's no better way we figured to kick that off than with a Nashville bachelorette weekend to celebrate Brittany's last few weeks as a single woman.

britt & wayne | 4.1.16
can't wait! 

I started the morning off by dropping Sydni at school; I won't see her again until Sunday night [sad face], so it was fitting and fun that we were able to sleep in a little and head off to school together. From there, it was rental car pick-up, luggage loading and then leaving..... right?

Well, almost: 

thank you sasha..... 

^^ My perpetually-delayed everything dog, Sasha, managed to finagle her way off her tether in the backyard today, and in the course of the 7 minutes she was out there anyway, tumbled through some sort of mud and came back in to greet me looking like this. Typical Sasha. 

So after I cleaned up the dog and the trail of chaos she dragged in with her, I departed for the first leg of the journey: Pick up Kara and meet Kalyn in Lexington. The journey begins! 

Kara and I drove to Lexington, where we rendezvoused with Kalyn and continued on to Nashville: 

hello, super photoshopped nashville picture i pulled from google..... 

[^ the picture I took as we entered the city included the AT&T Batman tower, too, but looked more like it was taken from a 2001 digi cam, sooooo.... ]

We arrived at the house we'll be inhabiting for the course of this weekend, where Britt & Co. were already assembled. The cast was complete, and we readied ourselves for a full roster of bachelorette-based activities. 

It's awesome when a group is comprised of various - and very different - walks of life, personal interests, careers, political views and whatever else there is that can vary [so basically anything goes]. I met a few of these women for the first time, and realized very quickly that we come from the same planet, but from very different worlds. 

And ya know what? I loved it :). 

To my cousin Maricor, the Sephora manager & makeup artist extraordinaire: 

These women are your tribe, seriously. I don't know how ya'll do it, but I'm flat out impressed - and a little jealous - that ya'll can draw all over your faces for hours with this makeup stuff
& still manage to not look like you got attacked by a box of crayons. Ya'll are talented, and
I..... am lost. High five, you make-up queens!

look at those artists :p 

After Dalia, Layla, Kara and Brittany came to the rescue, Kalyn and I [the two with the least amount of makeup ability] managed to put on faces for the night and did so with minimal mistake. Success!

Some highlights from the pre-trip:

i didn't do too bad on my own :) 

i hardly ever get to see this girl anymore.. jess, you're such a beaut!

the bride getting her gear!

freakin' adorable!

love you b! happy bach!!

the sisters, aka the blonde kardashians.. haha
kalyn. brittany. kara.

And then it was off to Merchant's for dinner!

cheers to this girl haha :) 

yummmmm! 

with the lovely powell sisters
brittany. kalyn. cori 

kalyn. cori. jess ♥

oh, the antics.. 

[top left] britt. maddie. jess. 
[top right] dalia. jess. layla 
[bottom] cori. kalyn. layla. kelsey. britt

Our original plans [I thought] were to get dinner and then head home for the evening, but once we'd filled up on delicious food, we thought we'd take advantage of already being in the heart of downtown Nashville. So off we set...

the tribe! 

It was an interesting evening from the time we set foot outside of Merchant's, but still a fun experience. We retired to the house via Uber with sore feet and a few fun surprises still in store.

Kalyn's birthday is Thursday [my present to her is back in Lexington in the trunk of her car.. haha], but Brittany pulled some stops to do one gift before the night was over.

the almost birthday girl :p 

Pajamas were all around, which was a great way to phase out the night, in the company of 9 other hilarious women.

the "brown girls" here to represent the philippines & mexico! ;) 

And yes, this is a backdated entry... it got late, and we got tired.

bedtime! 

See you in the morning, for our Studio Goddess dance class!

xo | cmd