When You're Here, But Not....

Today was a wonderful day, really. It was. I had my family by my side and spent the day in each other's company. I am in love with every second of it, but today there was also a part of me that I've realized I will forever wrestle with:

truth, truth, truth. 

I found that somewhere on the web, but it's a perfect summation of what my heart is feeling right now. I've been back from Panama for over a week now, but my heart aches to go back, for just one more day there in that village with the children and the families. With my SonRise team. With our Vega leaders and their support team. I want to return with Rob and Sydni; to show them the raw, unaltered beauty that I experienced on that mountain. To open my daughter's eyes to a world beyond the idea of immediate and constant worldly gratification we have here. To plant in her heart that vision of sharing Christ to the ends of the earth and loving people for their souls, not their image, clothing and titles like we do here.

I am grateful, actually.. for this feeling. I know it means that I came back with a conviction on my heart. With a passion I'd forgotten that I had. I already miss them, yes.. but I know I will see them again.

One of my favorite newer songs is by Audrey Assad; it's called Restless, and today it has reeled through my mind at least a dozen times if not more:

audrey assad lyrics - restless 

Lord, let me never forget what you've done in my heart in the last couple of weeks. Let that change me forever, and let me relentlessly pursue you, the way you pursue me.

Amen, Amen, AMEN.

xo | cmd

Boots & Music

Gooood Monday morning! I hope your weekends were incredible, and that you're off to a blazing start for the week like we were. My day started off alongside Carri & Dave, with a client facility tour, complete with the required on-site gear.

Oversized steel toed boots + leggings, anyone? ;)

ow ow!

Some desk-bound folks would see this as a burden in the middle of their day, but I embrace these things and probably have more fun than I should walking around warehouses and factories with my clodhopper feet and safety glasses awkwardly parked on the bridge of a nose that on my face doesn't even exist [#pinoyproblems]. Yay!

The rest of the day took something of a musical turn: I stumbled across this video by Steffany Gretzinger, an acoustic outpouring of her soul that moved me to share it with a few other people and listen to it multiple times.


^ So. Gorgeous!

Here's the part where I remind all of you that I'm heading to Panama in 2015 for the purpose of missions, and am starting NOW on the prayer part of that. There will be more details to follow on that, but for the time being, just... listen to that song and try to absorb it in the moment. Thank you, Steffany for sharing your gift with us! [#SonRisePanama2015]

Rob and I took a step into a new restaurant tonight and tried the Mexican place down the street from us [recommended!] before heading back home to let the ACC Awards carry us into the last part of the evening.

I had to share this, too, since Reba is not just an icon in country music, but truly a legend. I love the lady and realized that we're privileged to see these moments unfold; Sydni will grow up and hear stories of legends like this, but won't be able to experience them the same way we do now.

Congratulations to Reba, with love and gratitude for what you've contributed to the world of one of my favorite genres!


That's a rap here, folks. I've got Fancy stuck in my head like a broken record, so on that note, I'll call this one and pick up where we left off tomorrow!

G'Nite!

xo | cmd

Finding the Christmas Music Spirit

It's almost that time of the year!

Well, actually.. it is that time of the year, and has been for almost 3ish weeks already; I've simply chosen to avoid it until after my birthday, as I resolve to do every year.

IT'S CHRISTMAS MUSIC TIME!

Am I the only one who just.... can't... get into the traditional radiocast Christmas playlist[s]? I really try some years, but I just can't. It seems so .... repetitive to me, as it usually is with radio, but that's really just hypocritical of me to say, given that I have a list of a whopping what, like... 6 songs that I actually really enjoy?

Maybe it's the fact that there are endless renditions of every Christmasy song out there. I think that's what makes it the best for me: finding artists and groups who conceptualize a song while still keeping its integrity.

Pentatonix & Tori Kelly are just a couple of those entities that accomplish just that... instead of directly post every single video of theirs that moves me, I'll share the two I saw today, which absolutely put me in quite a jolly Christmas spirit. ♥

& this one....

I'm starting to get excited about Christmas preparation! The knitting needles have started flying, and won't stop until the last second I'm sure, and we're scheduled to get the Christmas tree to the house and decorated next weekend. Our shopping is almost done, too, which means plenty of time for Christmas baking, decorating..... and of course, music! 
For now, it's a date out with the mister: sushi it is! 
See ya soon, blogbots! 
xo | cmd

A Day In The [Lodge] Life

When you come to the Dren Lodge to stay, chances are.. you'll wake up like I did this  morning:

#HOME.

I somehow got up early and did a round of sun salutes [surya namaskar!] beneath the giant gable windows, and breathed in the traces of cedar and lavender that are permanent scents here. Every detail of the decor here has been deliberately set in its place by my mother's creative mind, inside the log home that is nearing its 30th year of fulfilling my father's dream to build it from the earth to the chimney. Everything about my childhood can be tracked back to this house, and the lyrics to Miranda Lambert's song, House That Built Me may as well be tattooed on every surface of the place.

No matter where I end up in this world, THIS.. is my home.

And because it's my home, it's where I get to work.
I'm a knucklehead for not swiping my mom's memory card; Sydni had a hayday with the camera while we were outside stacking wood for two hours. My mother, whose mind and body very clearly defy their age, was even found at one point about to bush hog the entire space behind one of our fences.

I mean, a family who lumberjacks together... stays together. Amiright?!
[And yes, once I steal mom's pictures, I'll share.]

We managed to finish our day's to-do list in a considerably short amount of time, which left room for showers, naps and play time before dinner. Post-dinner meant some solid time with my family, and I would not have traded this night in for anything the city could ever offer me.

love these three! 

.... EVEN.. if that means we grit our teeth while Ohio State contested MSU - for the win, might I add. ;) [Sorry, dad].

Mom brewed some Teavana, which served to warm us up, as well as provide comic relief.

dad & rob.. haha.

There's nothing better in life than family.
Aaaaaaamen.

xo | cmd

H-A-Double L-O....

I FOUND IT!!!


I am an alumni of my hometown's elementary school system, and at our school, we learned [or reviewed] this song literally every. single. year. I know I'm not the only one who remembers this number. This was part of my childhood playlist for the Halloween season, and it clearly made enough of an impression that I remembered the bulk of the chorus as I near the end of my twenties.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN to all you blogbots out there!!
[backdated stuff staaaaaaaaaarts...... now ;)]

Tonight was definitely a production; it started when I got home and took the plunge into Halloween makeup mode. In 30 minutes, I'd transformed myself from recognizable me to a masked super-villain.

Rob arrived home, changed into his getup, and out the door we were to Jessica's, where I had the task ahead of painting the rest of my entourage into their villainous characters. Jessica's friend Sarah was having a birthday party, and had chosen the villain.

We arrived at Molly Malone's in Covington to find the Sanderson Sisters [probably my favorite costumed trio of the night]:

perfect!!!!

[Oh, how I LOVE watching Hocus Pocus over... & over again during the Halloween season!!]

My entourage didn't look too shabby, either!

the boys: penguin & jigsaw

the girls: harley quinn & poison ivy

all 4 (:

couples ... villainous couples! 

It has been a long time since I went full-out on a Halloween costume for any sort of party, let alone with a group of people [unless the Run Like Hell 5k counts... which for this example, I'm gonna just say it doesn't... it doesn't ;) .. ]. Needless to say, despite the small fortune invested into each of our getups, Rob and I had a blast and the wish I made back in August of dolling up for a Halloween party somewhere came true. I'm not the girl that gets flushed when I see a few other renditions of the character I chose to be; I think it's kind of fun to see what other people thought to do for it, too. [That doesn't mean I don't think ours still totally rocked! ;)]

batman's detention squad

^ At one point or another, I counted nearly all of the villainous Batman cast in the same room at the same time; I was bummed that we weren't able to hunt down the Joker & Harvey Dent we'd seen roving the place for that shot, but 5 outta 7 isn't too bad! We even found another familiar villain:

chad! [the burglar from home alone.. yenno,
marco belinelli... post-iron-in-the-face?]

Not a bad way to have a little fun with friends.

I hope you've all been SAFE and ENJOYABLE Halloween! Here's to the start of winding down 2014. Live, love, laugh and get dressed up with your friends. (:

See you again once I've got my real face back!

xo | cmd

Feel Beautiful!

It's Monday, again.. somehow.. haha. There's always a toss-up if Monday's going to be a forest-fire kind of day or one that makes the weekend ending not seem so drastic.

Today was the latter, and that's pretty awesome. There was a good vibe in the air all day today, I managed to snag a lunch break, and as the day winded down, even squeezed in some office yoga.

feed your body right!

I also scrolled into this link, a video by Colbie Caillat that demands the attention of well, everyone, in my opinion. This is an absolute call to every girl - and guy! - out there to love themselves for their own skin, and not for the skin someone else says they should wear. I'm all about au naturale, so this made me smile.. a lot :)


Let's see if the rest of the week can be this positive, too.
Where there's a will, there's a way!

xo | cmd

Praise Team | Boat Fixins | #TBT!

We'll do all of ^^ that, in reverse order.

So first, #TBT! 

same place.. same girl ;) ♥

I was rummaging around on an old memory card and came across those two pictures. I hadn't planned to do a series of them at the time, but now that I've found two, I think we may head back there again this summer and snag another shot at the park on the .. umm... whatever that thing is, haha.

Here's a glimpse at what we're lookin' at today:


When Sydni and I pulled up in the driveway, we found Rob waist deep in the bowels of his boat. We've been talking about it for a couple of weeks now, but it looks like the red goblin is finally going to make her debut in a week or so. Tonight he got the engine cleared and cleaned, ran some water through it and took the whole rig for a spin around the block. IT IS ALMOST TIME!!!

this.. just... love love love.

Oh, and today I joined the SonRise praise team! That probably doesn't sound like much to anyone, but it's kiiiind of a momentous thing for me. I've been back in Cincinnati now for almost a full year and had yet to commit myself to any one church. Well, until SonRise. I met with the worship pastor today and it looks like I'll be joining forces with the morning praise team in the near future. This is pretty big for me; there was a very long period of time in which I didn't feel like singing. That's not me, and now that I've rediscovered complete and genuine joy, I'm happy to sing that from the top of a mountain.

outside sonrise!

AWE.SOME.

Tomorrow, it's off to Nana & Pappy's house for the weekend for our Easter celebration. We've got some big things planned!

xo | cmd

Backseat Sessions with Sydni : The FROZEN Edition

All right, Disney. This one is definitely stuck. I thought perhaps we wouldn't ever see the end of Tangled, but Sydni's fascination with that one faded a lot faster than I expected. Frozen, on the other hand, is still on loop at our house, and the soundtrack has basically replaced any other form of sound in the car.

I will be singing "Let it Gooooooooo," for the rest of my life, I'm pretty sure. Sydni will be singing it until you, Disney, come out with the next big hit (:

That being said, here's what the car rides home typically contain. And yes, before anyone says anything, I realize she looks like she has a mullet. For the girls out there, if you can tell me about that childhood of yours in which you didn't attempt to cut your own hair, well, I'll be impressed. In her credit, at least they're still on her forehead; when I did that, they were barely even sprigs. One centimeter is not an acceptable length for bangs. Hers are manageable. ;)




^ I love my car rides with her. This, folks, is how they have been nearly every single time since she saw the movie. If you can't appreciate a little girl singing her heart out, well, it's beautiful (:

With love from us on this NON-rainy Tuesday!! ♥

xo | cmd

So We'll Celebrate All Week, Mmkay?

Hello, MONDAY!
I received this as a present from my staff today. Looks like this might be a birthday week of sorts.. hah..



yiiiieeeeeeee!

Oh man. There is decadence, and then there is this thing: mousse, chocolate flakes, magic all the way around pretty much. We devoured our helpings of this in an embarrassingly short amount of time, and I am not sorry.

Sydni's back, too!!! It was just minutes in the door before she spotted the new Veggie Tales movie that Rob bought me as part of my birthday present ♥, so while I got moving on dinner, they got moving on It's a Meaningful Life, starring none other than Larry the Cucumber & Co. It doesn't get much better than all that.

veggie tales + lapcats dogs!
{don't mind sasha's flashy eyes...}

Oh, and since it is December and I have a yearly commitment to ban all Christmas music from my presence until after my birthday, I was happy to be reminded that December is finally upon us. That doesn't mean I love all Christmas music, let alone any Christmas music ALL the time, but there are definitely a few. At the top of my list this year is Pentatonix [duh] with their rendition of one of my favorite classics. I'll leave today at that... enjoy!


I... love.. them.

Happy Monday!

xo | cmd

♪ ♫ It's Just a Long... Way... Home ♫ ♪

This week was definitely one heck of a 5-day stretch. *Whew. I'm not sad to see this one laid to rest, but at the same time I find it slightly bittersweet knowing that my time here is still limited. I'm about to head back to Ohio for some scouting and screening of potential landing spots for me; I've been singing Steven Curtis Chapman all day....

It's crazy to look around my house and realize I've already started packing up my house and must say I've gotten pretty far. There is still a lot to sort through, but after multiple moves in the past two years, I think I've pretty much divested of every spare thing along the way that I either didn't need, didn't use or didn't remember at all. I've made a few donations here lately just to catch up on my inventory, and I feel pretty good about it. We'll see what I can churn up this weekend as far as housing goes. We'll see.

We're leaving here as soon as Rob gets back; the car is packed [with all of the two days worth of stuff we need], and I'm ready to be done with the drive. It's gonna be a packed weekend; here's to safe travels, fruitful searches, and the like.

xo | cmd

It's Uhh, Raining... Let's Cook.

Andi told us yesterday that our area would be under a flood warning until sometime on Friday. We had a hard time initially believing that since there wasn't a cloud in the sky when she said it.

..... We live in the midwest. Why would I have thought the weather would be temperamental??! It rained today. It rained a lot today. I came across a few pictures from friends who live down on the air force base; apparently there are several places in the area that look this way today. My thoughts go out to everyone who's been affected by flooding. It's been one heck of a week.

whoa. flood.

It was a craaazy busy day at work, which is no surprise. We managed to capture Linda in a moment of song, though, and that definitely brightened the day. It's a shame we never caught footage of her and I doing a duet on this song, but I really don't enjoy videos of myself all that much as it is, so this was just fine ;)

Work aside, I made a stop at the store to grab a few things and headed back to the house. Rob got off work early today, so he was already there. I made a start into dinner, as promised yesterday: stuffed peppers. It's been a long time since I've made these, and it's a different recipe than I'd used before, so I admit I was a little nervous. They came out just fine though; I have to admit, I was pretty proud of them ;) 

potatoes & peppers... yummm

Not too bad! And to follow it up, cookies! One of the guys at Rob's work was selling cookie dough for his kid, so we opted for a random baking session to round out the evening. I've gotta hand it to him, this boy's quite the baker. Oh, and SHOUTS to Kanice for the awesome ninjabread men cookie cutters! We put them to good use!

ninjabread men!

We had some photobooth fun, too. [//edit! I promised to add a few of the photobooth goodies. It's more like, a couple - two exactly, to be precise. Oh well. You'll be okay]

what...? 

.... you thought these were gonna be normal? ;) 

xo | cmd

The Band Perry: Then & Now

A few summers ago, Kalyn and I got ourselves hooked on The Band Perry. Then it was the song If I Die Young that got us both out to buy their whole first album. [That was a great summer, haha]



Now, it's Better Dig Two.
The song itself is a liiiiiittle stage five for me, but it's catchy, and I'm a fan of TBP to start, so I'm gonna stay undecided for the most part on whether or not I'll go and snag another album if and when they release it. Haha.

I figured I'd share, and see what everyone else thinks...



Thoughts?

xo | cmd

Irony of Bad Timing

did i just quote that? yes. yes, i did.

 I was doing some house cleaning a few days back [more like house expunging, but who's judging...], and I ran across one of the many notebooks I kept in the process of college. Being that I studied English and the art of literature, I have all sorts of ramblings from song lyrics to spoken word to pages on which I did nothing more but write out a certain word until I either spelled it correctly or decided to just wing it with what I had.

Anyway, this is one of the ones I found, circa 2003. Funny how relevence is circular, even in varied context:

****
Well that didn't go as I'd planned.

Planning's never been a forte of mine, past present and unassumingly futuristic.

And here I envisioned not my lackadaisical retreat,
but instead a fervent drive to make it mine.
To keep what's mine.

For you, and for me.

At my own expense, I'm fast losing faith in realizations,

and that the fight uphill

could have easily be averted by holding myself accountable.

Accountable to the undeniable reality that time is constant.

Timing is a derivation of time, and neither of us are on speaking terms.

This wasn't your fault. 

It wasn't much mine either, other than I neglected time. 

In laments terms, 

imperfectly perfect you, this was just bad timing.
****

 Haha. Oh, the angst, lol. I laugh at that now for a few different reasons: the first and most obvious because it's entirely relevent to now. The other reason is because that particular exerpt, in context, had nothing to do with a person. That was based on an opportunity on which I'd missed, because of my own idiotic tendencies, totally unrelated to anyone at all. Reading that now, I know I personified that event just to make myself even more miserable. Girls do that, too. Silly pre-twenties me.

I have a track record of bad timing. Haha. Maybe I'll add that to that irrelevent list of New Years' Resolutions that I disregard each year until about October-ish. ;) Again, timing's not my strongsuit.

Happens. Oh, and yes, I did just repost a tumblr quote from Carly Rae Jepsen.

I'll judge myself, too, thanks. Haha.
I think I need a vacation.

xo | cmd

A Song For the Soul (:

I discovered a beautiful song today... thought I would share. It's not necessarily applicable to any specific morsel of my life, but it's a gorgeous song & that, if nothing else always manages to speak to me (:
[I'll be back with the regularly-scheduled blog tomorrow]

FALLING SLOWLY
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice

You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing it loud


xo | cmd
 

Baby Bunny Serenade

I had to share this.. haha. :)

This kid..... I love her.

We [Sydni and I] skipped the softball game tonight to take advantage of the mild temperatures. The backyard was in dire need of some weeding and minor cleanup, but with the temperatures well over 100 the past couple of weeks, I had refrained. So today, Sydni and I grabbed our gardening gloves and started ripping away at the infesting vegetation that had been creeping higher and higher by the day. I was in the midst of pruning a hosta under the deck when a little fuzzball scampered out. I thought at first that it was a mouse, but quickly recognized the tiny hop and stature. I then realized there was a second bunny nestled at the base of the hosta. I grabbed the camera and Sydni, and let her see the little babies before freeing them back to the safety of the garden.

It's these moments I love, and these moments I'll miss.
For now, I'll breathe them in and love them to every last millisecond :)

xo | cmd

Celebrate Family!

my sister!

I get that this holiday weekend was built on the foundation of the holiday itself: Memorial Day.
I am in no way, shape or form trying to detract at all from the gravity of what tomorrow represents.
I am saying that because of the extended weekend, we are here, visiting family, and for that I am celebrating. I love my family, and I was given a quick reminder today that they are just as incredible as they've always been, and that it's only getting better.

For example:  My daughter alone is growing like an outta control weed - she's developing into her own faster than I can follow, and I love it. My husband has since left the Air Force and re-joined the world of auto glass. My sister's family is blooming into this band of musically and artistically talented souls who continue to impress me every time we're together. My great niece Emmie will turn four this year. My parents are remodeling their kitchen. My cousins' kids [my 2nd cousins] are in their mid-20's now. Where is time going???? Holy smokes.

emmie & sydni ... strategy meeting. haha

Anyway, these types of holidays are typically fail-proof in bringing all of us together in one spot at the same time. I say that we're all scattered; that's halfway true. I think I say it more-so just because we are now the ones living remotely. The bulk of my family is located within a 20-30 mile radius of each other. With the exception of us, and my cousins in PA, the majority of the family is back in Ohio. I said all that to say that while the drive can be a little tedious, it is totally worth it to have even just one weekend with my family.

mom outdoing herself yet again!

syd & lola

It didn't take us long at all to get right into the swing of things; Cynthia & Brian brought not just Emmie, but their little puppy Lola, too. It was about 10 whole minutes before Sydni had assessed the little fuzzball as a non-threatening situation, and for the rest of the evening made herself Lola's personal babysitter. Since they were just about the same size - we'll say proportionally-balanced - it was pretty funny watching her tote Lola around all afternoon, everywhere she went. The dinner table, water balloon fight, and campfire were no exceptions. I think she wants one. Hmm. Not gonna happen, not just yet.

water balloon prep..... the dry phase..

Oh, and we had a full blown water fight that stemmed from my mom's idea for an innocent water balloon toss. We warned her that this would spiral out of control; she didn't believe us, but I think she realized it when the water balloons started flying, then the buckets came out, then the hose itself, along with some squirt guns intended originally for just the kids. Needless to say, by the end of it, we were all soaked to the core. That's right, I love my family. :)

kiddies all dried off :)

After we'd swapped all of our sopping wet gear for dry clothes, wiped off all of our runny makeup and tied up stringy hair, we made haste with it to get the fire pit started up for some s'mores & such.. because really what is a family shindig without gooey, chocolatey marshmallow sandwiches?? Duh. :p

marshmallows. this is a science around here....

fire! 

roasting with mini :) 

It's been an incredible weekend. I love my family, and I appreciate so much having the time to come and spend with them. We head back tomorrow to IL; it's gonna be another couple of months before we're back up this way; that makes it all the more perfect to have this time when we can.

I.
AM.
SPENT. 

Time to get some sleep and put my drivin' eyes in. See ya tomorrow. 

xo | cmd

I'm a Closet Gleek

Yeah, about that. So the phenomenom that took over every closet theater nerd a few years back, known to the masses as Glee, is among those shows I classify as fun to watch, whenever I happen to catch it. I don't schedule my evenings around weekly Glee showings, but I'm guilty of YouTubing videos of their musical numbers and live performances, just to check 'em out.

This particular Glee interpretation of the F.U.N. song We Are Young came to mind today, after sitting at work for eight hours and hearing the original version about .. oh, I dunno,.... at least 400 times. You all know what I'm saying: most radio stations, especially the top 40 frequencies, typically have a playlist of 10-15 songs, if that, and it is those 10-15 songs that play on rotation .. alllllll... day..... long..... .

shyeah.

So before I get sick of this song, I figured I'd post up the Glee version of it. Quite frankly, I like it better, even without the visual of all the little Glee characters bopping around in their noted carefree styles. There really is a mass of vocal talent on this show, pained as that may be to admit. Hah.

It's off to church for now, before Joe has to start packing for his little vacation next week.
See ya!

xo | cmd