Irony of Bad Timing

did i just quote that? yes. yes, i did.

 I was doing some house cleaning a few days back [more like house expunging, but who's judging...], and I ran across one of the many notebooks I kept in the process of college. Being that I studied English and the art of literature, I have all sorts of ramblings from song lyrics to spoken word to pages on which I did nothing more but write out a certain word until I either spelled it correctly or decided to just wing it with what I had.

Anyway, this is one of the ones I found, circa 2003. Funny how relevence is circular, even in varied context:

****
Well that didn't go as I'd planned.

Planning's never been a forte of mine, past present and unassumingly futuristic.

And here I envisioned not my lackadaisical retreat,
but instead a fervent drive to make it mine.
To keep what's mine.

For you, and for me.

At my own expense, I'm fast losing faith in realizations,

and that the fight uphill

could have easily be averted by holding myself accountable.

Accountable to the undeniable reality that time is constant.

Timing is a derivation of time, and neither of us are on speaking terms.

This wasn't your fault. 

It wasn't much mine either, other than I neglected time. 

In laments terms, 

imperfectly perfect you, this was just bad timing.
****

 Haha. Oh, the angst, lol. I laugh at that now for a few different reasons: the first and most obvious because it's entirely relevent to now. The other reason is because that particular exerpt, in context, had nothing to do with a person. That was based on an opportunity on which I'd missed, because of my own idiotic tendencies, totally unrelated to anyone at all. Reading that now, I know I personified that event just to make myself even more miserable. Girls do that, too. Silly pre-twenties me.

I have a track record of bad timing. Haha. Maybe I'll add that to that irrelevent list of New Years' Resolutions that I disregard each year until about October-ish. ;) Again, timing's not my strongsuit.

Happens. Oh, and yes, I did just repost a tumblr quote from Carly Rae Jepsen.

I'll judge myself, too, thanks. Haha.
I think I need a vacation.

xo | cmd