In The Midst of It All

I took a walk this morning. The first thing I thought when I woke up was that I needed, desperately, to get outside, touch my feet to the earth and reconnect myself to it, to the circle and to the Creator. I stopped and sat for a minute, just outside the cabin, and prayed. There isn't enough gratitude in my body to fully express the way I feel today. 

Rob slept through the night just fine, with minimal pain. He went to bed with arms and legs fully in tact and functioning. He has no back injuries. Aside from the visible damage on his face, his head is fine. He is damaged, but he will be okay. Most importantly, he is still himself, but now with a heightened sense of awareness to his own vulnerability. 

But he is still here. He is alive, by the grace of a God that I will never fully understand, but praise and thank daily for the blessings - both big and small - that somehow find me, despite my (our) undeserving state. 

I called off work today. Our first task as a group was recovery of all the bikes; we visited two separate places to get Rob's, then Dillon's. 

there she goes... 

TO THE OFFICER WHO TOLD ME YESTERDAY, AT AROUND 2AM ON THE PHONE THAT ROB AND HIS BIKE WERE ESSENTIALLY TOTALED, YOU OUGHT TO BE CAREFULLY RECONSIDERING YOUR OATH TO HONESTY. You do NOT tell someone's family member a course of events that did not happen, your certainty in the matter stamped only by the status of your badge. We were told that Rob's bike was a complete lost cause, and that upon impact, he had flipped off the bike and into the unknown at that point. 

Does this look like the aftermath of a bike abandoned by flight?! 

bikes going to illinois

 No, it doesn't. 

No.... it... doesn't. Urgghhhh

The guys managed to get her up and onto the trailer, with the help of the backyardigans's flatbed. Sidenote: Here in TN, it's very lucrative to own and operate a tow business out of your house. These guys are pros at it, and if I should ever find myself living in this region, you can go ahead and know now what business I'll be pursuing.

We headed back to the cabin to do the final pack-up of our things and get all 3 bikes situated on the truck and trailer, before saying our farewell-for-now's. Dillon, Matt, Courtney & Cadence took off back to Illinois, while Rob and I made our way back here to Knoxville. We stopped at Panera for lunch, and started formulating a plan on what to do for the next couple of days. As it turns out, we'll be stuck here, since on such short notice, we aren't able to get in to any Cincinnati facilities for the surgery he'll need on Wednesday. Womp womp.

Rob found a hotel on Expedia, and long story short, we're here now, checked in and planted here for the next two nights.

The consultation appointment is tomorrow. I'll put this prayer out in the blog world for tonight: for confidence, easy nerves and painless completion of the whole ordeal.

See you in the morning!

xo | cmd

Not The Plan...

It was late last night before my head hit the pillow. It's always a strange sensation adjusting to an empty house; even the dogs weren't entirely sure if making noise and ruckus was the way to go for the evening. They were snoozing long before I climbed into bed for the night, but it wasn't about to stay that way.

I was somewhere in a dream, when the soundtrack of my phone ringing started cutting in. I don't know much about the dream states, but I know I've been there before, doing some random dream activity, and the sound of an alarm clock or a ringtone becomes surround sound, and there I am, in a concert blend of dream and reality.

And then I woke up, to Rob's call that he'd wrecked his bike. It was 1am. I'd been asleep for probably just shy of 2 hours at that point, but I was awake in no time. In the 40 minutes that followed, I gathered what information I could from Rob and Matt on the accident, and was bags packed in my car on the way to Tennessee.

Five hours. Five hours driving, texting and calling Matt with updates. 

Rob is at Leconte Medical Center in Sevierville. Dillon was not involved in the accident and is okay.

Rob will be transferred to the trauma unit at UT Medical Center in Knoxville. 

Rob has been transferred.  Matt texts back. Jesse texts back.

Matt is meeting Courtney halfway between Kentucky & Illinois to get his trailer for the bikes. 

Rob's mom calls. His dad calls. Becky calls. Matt calls. My mom calls. Jesse calls.

Calls. Texts. Driving, driving, driving. I'm relatively good at keeping calm through things like this, and for some reason, I had a strange peace about it all even as I navigated through the mountains in the dark. I was over halfway through the trip when the sun met me to rise, and I pulled into the hospital in the golden light of early morning, into a front row parking spot of the garage just outside the main entrance.

My heart broke when I walked into his room. I've never seen him like this, even though I know he's been in situations of mishap before. I've never experienced it, not until today, and I can boldly say I am not a fan.

:( 

Now, as with every other hospital I've ever been in, when you want or need something, you've gotta speak up. It's not being rude, it's just a fact of life. You're one of many in that place, and they'll get to you quicker if you just ask. That's the part I hate, as I'm horribly nonconfrontational about these things. However after arriving in his room at 9am, the clock turned over to 1:30 pm and I decided it was time to pipe up. My requests were met with polite smiles and promises of attention which were fulfilled within the hour of my asking. I had faith in the UT Med Center staff :)

The trauma surgery team came down to do an assessment. Then the maxillofacial team came down. A doctor explained to us the extent of the damage as shown by x-ray, and their intended steps to correct and mend. He began to suture the gash in Rob's nose, while I opted to wait in the lobby.

I came back to find a semi-mended Rob. His face still held the damage, but at least now it was contained, both aesthetically and on the scale of pain. We began our discharge, and after eating some food, made the walk together out of the hospital.

look at those snazzy socks.. haha

I stopped to fill the prescriptions, then continued onward for the 45ish minute drive to the cabin the guys had rented in Gatlinburg. The prayers I said today were that of gratitude, for safety and for healing. I know the next few days aren't going to be fun, whatever they hold. We're not even sure yet.

Walking into the cabin, we met Dillon, who looked as exhausted as I felt. Within the next half hour, Matt, Courtney and Cadence arrived with the truck and trailer. We made dinner and sat down, each at the end of his and her daily energy supplies.

It certainly wasn't how I'd intended to rendezvous with these friends, but we're here together regardless, and it's a nice spot in a cloud, if that makes sense.

Tomorrow, we'll leave this cabin and decide if the next few days will be spent here in Gatlinburg, or if we'll be heading home. We'll see. We'll see.

For now, gooooood night, world.
And Lord, THANK YOU for all that You are and give to us. We are so, so undeserving of Your mercy.

Amen..

xo | cmd