, …… hello, again.

Hello, Again. 

You know, this blog used to be one of my most well-maintained interests. It goes without saying that I've been dormant for a long stretch now, but even this - an outlet - needs to rest.

And here I am, after several failed attempts at telling myself it'd be easy enough to just start again - the daily updating and entries. Looking back over a couple of random entries throughout the past couple years, it's clear that on some days, I really didn't have anything to say.

And that should've been ok.
Don't expect daily updates, from here on out.

***************

So let's start again, as the adage goes: "It's never too late to start (again) (over) (new)." 

So, …… hello, again. 

My daughter turns 9 tomorrow. September 1st. I remember 01 Sep 09 like it was yesterday, right down to the color I'd painted my toenails that morning - a nervous task I'd set myself to because I was home alone and strangely sure that I wouldn't safely make it to the hospital on my own accord if I'd tried. My labor and delivery rang in at a whopping 18 total minutes, and a nurse after my delivery complimented my nails; they were a rustic shade of burgundy, by the way. The center of my world shifted that day, embodied in a living 90's glowworm doll - that tiny little burrito over whom I would proceed to cry for the next day, out of both raw joy and the onset of terror that the number of clues I had as to what I was doing equaled zero. And partly, I think, because I was sleepless, caffeine-less and had just expelled a human. Who knows. 

AAANYWAY, I took a picture of Sydni (aforementioned daughter) yesterday, decked out in new club soccer gear, and we shared a joke about photos in general. It's a bit I'd borrowed from the late Mitch Hedberg, a response to that thing people say: "show me a picture of you when you were younger!" The joke goes on to point out that every picture of us is a picture of us when we were younger. ("Show me a picture of you when you are older, and I might be impressed," is the tail end of that - Mitch). For a split second, Sydni had a tough time wrapping her mind around that, but eventually thought it was funny, and rattled off a short list of friends with whom she was immediately going to share it. I mean, it's middle elementary: one of the most competitive, over-saturated markets for unheard joke material. (Go get 'em, kid). 

That was yesterday. Now it's Friday night and I'm coming down off another full week of work, workouts, soccer, life group, birthday preparations. Tomorrow's the actual birthday party, but for tonight, I have the liberty of stretching out on my couch, alone in the stillness of my own home with an acoustic playlist and a laptop at the mercy of this babbling blog. It's 31 August 2018; we're 2/3 through the 3rd quarter of the year. My daughter turns 9 tomorrow, and I am…….. older even now, than I was when I wrote the paragraph preceding this. *sigh. 

Over the past eight months, approximately 839 separate voices convened for a bracket-like tournament in my soul. They were each vying for pole position there, in the driver's seat, wrestling to control my actions, my choices, my words, my priorities. These rival thoughts went head to head, and much like any elimination tourney, there were some easy winners and some underdogs. There were some calls too exhausting for even me to make, the re-matches, the tough losses and the occasional invitation for the cast-offs to return just to stir the pot. Okay, so it's more like a demented hybrid of a legitimate tournament and a reality show, when it comes the thoughts that root and rule me. Human heart versus human mind versus God-governed heart & mind, versus external influences, other people, conflicting advice and learning from experiences. 

One team of thoughts, aptly named APATHY, has a lot of very well-trained players, expertly conditioned to attack me when I'm at my weakest and exploit what they find. Seems contradictory to call them thoughts of apathy, given how aggressively and actively they engaged me, but that's what they created. That's where I lived - in a floating abyss of apathy. Apathy by definition is the absence of interest, enthusiasm and/or concern. 

My relationships were suffering. 

My work was suffering. 

My faith was being strained.
My physical body was exhausted and weak. 

My heart was running on a cobwebbed reserve of muscle memory.

I was re-becoming depressed. (Re-becoming? Sounds good, let's go with it)

And I was there because the things I'd come to compartmentalize and/or attribute to that 'well that's how it/he/she is' junk drawer, eventually poured over all showed up on my doorstep at the same time, demanding my undivided attention. And what's the human response to that? Shutting down. Avoiding the ugliest of the things, the ones that cut the deepest, because what - because we don't want to get hurt. 

The team captain for Team Apathy is Fear. 

Fear temporarily ruled my heart: a wolf hidden under the cloak of self-preservation. I saw that the relationship in my life's foreground: my marriage, was not just falling apart, but should not have happened in the first place. It's not to say he was/is not a good person (on the contrary), but adults are well-versed in the idea that a good person is not inherently the right person. And world, I feared the repercussions of walking away from that. I feared the judgment. I feared that the tug deep in my heart to get out, was somehow misguided. That I'd end up following a siren to my inevitable undoing. I feared the big picture. I feared the conflict this had against the grain of what I believe in, re: marriage. I feared that starting over would wreck me, render me unreachable, unlovable, unacceptable. I became afraid that I couldn't trust anyone again, and that would only aide in warding off anyone who was brave or blind enough to give it a shot. I feared myself: knowing that after trauma like that, I shut down and internalize. I lost sight of why we'd even arrived at that place. 

Team Apathy co-captain: Guilt

By May, I'd found enough gumption to sever that toxic relationship. The signatures on the lines came and went, and in their stead came two competitors: relief & guilt. They less fought than debated, one taking center stage for a while and the other stepping in to contradict. One deep weight had been lifted, dissolved. The cavern it left became prime real estate for guilt to settle in. Guilt that I'd let my family down. My friends. Guilt that I'd both allowed things I hadn't seen but should have into a life involving my daughter, and then the guilt of taking away the good parts that I'd worked so hard to filter just for her. The distraction of the steps involved in that severing had taken a toll on my work - so even my life in the office felt strained. I'd let fear unravel my confidence so evenly across all my endeavors, that I'd adopted the idea that I was just failing to pull my own weight, along with the guilt that was birthed by not doing it. I'd let myself down. In my self-deprecating mind, I'd let God down and there was nothing I could do to undo it. Guilt, guilt. guilt. 

The other players on Team Apathy: Doubt, Resentment, Envy, Lies. 

K, I know none of these things so far sound like apathy - on their own, they aren't, but when they compound and feed off each other, their goal of shutting me down is usually achieved, and everything becomes both overwhelming and bland all at once. Am I the only one?! (I've recently re-discovered, with unending gratitude that the answer is NO, I am not the only one). But seriously - anyone?! Something (or somethingS) happen, and instead of washing the proverbial dirty dishes in the sink, you let them begin to let them pile up, and pile up, and pile up.. and every single time you pass by them, you're reminded of your inadequacy and inability to tackle something that everyone of your (age) (position) (gender) (training) should be able to do in their sleep with a hand tied behind their back. You doubt you're ever going to see the bottom of that sink. You resent every dirty dish that's there, and the person who put it there, whether it was you or not. And you think of someone you know (or even past you!) who has/had no issues at all knocking out a mess just like this one. But there you are, a mountain of mess in different shapes and sizes before you, and that weight is so heavy that you buckle under it, and instead of rolling up your sleeves to stick your hands in dirty water, you turn a blind eye.. just one.more.time. You believe the lie that you can't. You become apathetic. I BECAME APATHETIC.

BUT HERE'S THE *GOOD* NEWS

And WHEW, is it GOOD.

Just as Apathy was a top seed in the battle for my loyalties, there is no competition without a rival. And where Apathy rallied its strongest players, with their deceptive agenda and loveless core, it's adversary had actually already been there waiting to be recognized… again. 

I'll let the sports bracket analogy go - we get the point. But seriously, you guys - GRACE. 

GRACE, by definition as it pertains to my context here (faith): The free and unmerited favor, love for us, through and by God. 

^^ I may have just lost a handful of you, who maybe didn't know before you got to this part that I'm a treacherously broken and self-damaged human whose only hope in this world is to rely on the saving Grace of the God who created the heavens, the earth…….. and little blip-on-the-map me (I'm a Christian). Understanding the depth of faith's true potential is something none of us may ever fully accomplish, but it's a conversation I'm happy to have with you outside of this blog, if you want. It's an entry for another day, but it's been an arduous journey with a feet-dragging, water breaks and black-outs, if I'm being honest. 

Anyway, back to my point here: GRACE. 

Do you ever go through something, and whatever (or whoever) that is, forces you to a place where you - maybe against your pride, even -  become reliant on something or someone else who in reality has been there all along? That's exactly how it is for me. How it's always been. I take the grace I've been given for granted, until my feet are in the fire (usually because my dumb self put them there?), and I reach back desperately and instinctively for an anchor. And it's always, always there. 

Where Apathy umbrella'd fear, guilt, doubt, resentment, envy… they pale next to the legions of Grace: 

Forgiveness

Confidence

Patience

Truth

Love

Hope

Anyone who's ever done something they regret, can tell you what that wave of guilt feels like. How it presses into your core and makes you wish you could wash it off, but you can't. Turn back time, take it back or do it differently. Instead, we fixate on something else - something untouched, unrelated.. safe. For me, I compartmentalize. The junk drawer becomes a junk box, becomes a closet, becomes a storage unit ever-increasing in square footage. All the hurt, guilt, shame - all of that goes into that storage, where it stays and occasionally leaks back out when something happens and I'm forced to stare one of those feelings in the face again to process it. I then either shoulder it or project it onto someone close to me. Or I just shut down all together, become a full-functioning exterior encasing the inner work-in-progress (which is sometimes a quick add-on, remodel, full demolition & rebuild, or something brand new). 

But to really embrace the grace (I'm sorry that's a cheesy rhyme), I have to download the pillars that hold it in place over and in me: 

Forgiveness, of others but seemingly harder sometimes - of myself. Recognizing what I've done and asking forgiveness either from the person(s) I wronged, and then of myself.. is no easy task. Not everyone says yes - and more often than not, it's not other people turning me down. 

Confidence, that the next try will yield at best a completely different turnout.. and at worst, an opportunity to learn and grow. Confidence in the process, and in myself and others to realize that disappointment is part of the natural process, but it doesn't have to be a home. 

Patience. This one's easy to spot, because I'm not at all wired as a patience person (ok, sometimes, but more often… not). It's hard to exercise because I'm conditioned to see results of efforts, usually loooong before God has intended me to see them. 

Truth. I just had a discussion this week through life group, regarding the difference between being Nice and being Loving. While there's an overlap, the clear difference is that to be loving, we have to be willing to speak truth to ourselves and to others, however difficult that might be, or how much the human nature in us wants it to be false. Being nice is catering to the agenda of appeasing everyone, whereas a gentle truth will always carry more weight than a half-hearted compliment. 

Love. Suuuuuch a loaded word, with all of its possible contexts, forms and versions. For me, I view love - real love, as the manifestation of my vertical relationship. When I'm in line with what I've been called to be in Christ, I am confident. I am patient. I feel love, not on a surface level, but in the way that we feel it from good parents - where we want to make them proud and when we do AND when we don't, they speak in truth but still love us exactly the same. For my life, that means loving my daughter unconditionally. Loving hard-to-love people exactly where they are, and keeping a leash on my own agenda. It means forgiving others and myself when I don't want to, and allowing the girl in mirror to breathe deep, and understand that she is not perfect, but she absolutely is worthy. 

Hope, because where are any of us without it? Where do I go, if I don't believe the hope that my daughter will grow into a young woman who values herself and other people? What do I do - what do any of us do, if we lose hope that the end hasn't come yet? We have ALL seen the damage done by people who lose hope. It's not a road I want any of us on, ever. 

***************

End of 2017: 

I'd lost focus, lost sight, misplaced hope. I'd forgotten about grace, and gave into apathy. I became this weird kind of limbo-ey shell and I knew I couldn't stay there. FORTUNATELY, and I cannot stress this enough: I half found (half was found by) a small, yet varied network of people who took the time to pour into me. To pursue me. Gently persistent because they loved me exactly where I was and knew that I needed help. Their words weren't always nice. They weren't unkind, but they weren't spoken out of a feel-good agenda. They were spoken to me by people who loved me enough to say the things I didn't want to hear, see, feel. Eight short months ago, the pot boiled over, and those people who intimidated me with their honest love that I felt I didn't deserve, were the people I needed the most. Not all of them agreed with the life changes I had to make to get back on solid ground, but not once did they stop loving or accepting me. 

To fill the gap: yes, I found solid ground. It's solid, blooming and surrounded by fresh air, water and people who invest into me for my own sake. I've regained my footing and dismissed Apathy and its team of sore losers. My relationships have recovered. I'm back on the field at work. Literally back on the field & in the gym for soccer. Connected with my daughter in a more intentional way than maybe ever, before now. I have room to grow, mountains to climb. But grace will win, every time, even when the outlook is bleak. 

And now that I'm almost two hours older than when I started this entry - if you're still with me here - I hope that if you've gleaned anything from this, it's that it is NOT too late for you to turn the page in your book, take a deep breath, and just… start, again. 

***************

Final thoughts…. 

I had a conversation a few years back with a friend about trying our best to raise kids in a broken world, and she made the comment, 

"I mean, at this point I'm not even worried what he wants to be when he grows up, as long as he's not the bully or the snob." 

Despite other areas where we don't always see eye-to-eye, I couldn't help but want to agree with her on this one. I mean, how true is that? How many parents can identify with that, at its core? Moreover, how many of us became - even if just momentarily - one or both of those, and would be proud to say it?

The bully or the snob? The one who attacks other for his/her own self-gain, or the one who can't be bothered with the perceived menial problems of anyone deemed below whatever threshold dictates worthiness? I know for a fact that I've been both, and that I'm not proud of it. I know that I'm working my hardest to instill a spirit of confidence and humility into my daughter - to equip her to be aware of the world but still compassionate.

So tomorrow, the center of my earthly focus turns 9. She is everything a mother could hope for at this stage: healthy, intelligent, social, energetic, with eyes that light up when she is happy and give away when she isn't but says she is. She wears her heart on her sleeve and isn't afraid to cry when it hurts. She comes back the next day ready to give it right back to the world. 

She is everything I hope to be, when I grow up. And when I do, I'll know that maybe I got it right after all. It's never too late. 

So hello, again. 

xo | cmd

The Magical Beasts of ..... My Job

Pheeeeeeeew. Tuesday.

If you've ever wondered what it's like in the world of niche skill staffing, allow me to introduce to you the candidate that fits every bullet of tooootally realistic criteria: 

He or she may also look something like this: 

... and will be willing to do an entry-to-mid-level position, despite the fact that he or she has a master's degree, eight years of recent, demonstrated experience and a spotless criminal background. All of which are prerequisites. How does $13/hour sound? 

Today I am so, so thankful for the small cluster of talented ladies who stand alongside me day in and day out as we collectively brave the life that is our job. I have some of the best coworkers this side of the lateral and it seems like the perfect day to give thanks for them. 

It's a small thing, but it's a huge difference in my every day to have such stellar gals in my office.

And I think that's all we need to say today ;) 

Happy TUESDAY! 

xo | cms 

Homeownership: The Crash Course

There are a couple things for which nobody really prepares you. The most obvious of those is becoming a parent for the first time [an entirely separate diatribe; you parents out there know what I'm sayin'.... ]. Driving on the major Cincinnati highways would be the second thing [71, 75, 74, Beechmont Ave., etc.].

Okay, there are a few other things that are hard to gauge until they're in your lap. My point is... we've just opened the chapter of Homeownership, which 1) I'm told is not one word [don't care], and 2) introduced itself as everything except subtle.

We signed the closing paperwork yesterday, but ran short on time in the evening to journey across town to get the keys. We put it off to tonight, and had Becky & Mike joining us as we set foot inside for the first time without our realtor.

We showed them the upstairs; Becky claimed her bedroom ;).. haha. We toured the dining room, the other dining room [I'm still uncertain I'm grown-up enough for that kind of spacial awareness], and peered out into the darkness at the backyard that ends at the golf course.

And then we ventured into the basement, aka future mancave. It was going just fine until our solid footsteps were offset by the sounds of splashes.

Splashes = water.
Water inside = no good.

something... isn't quite right. 

It took a moment to register, but we quickly realized [oh, and it was raining all evening], that the sump pump had broken and the water was flowing freely into the basement through several ruptures in the pump and pipe.

I know. Awesome.

This is a first world problem, for sure. Yeah, it's a pretty big deal, and it wasn't what we'd hoped to find in our new house that didn't hold even a towel of our own possession [which would've been immeasurably useful at this particular moment]. BUT - the silver lining is deeper than the puddle.

We 1) have a warranty from the sellers, thankfully, that will cover all of these damages. That's the operative reassurance that made this nothing more than a minor inconvenience and I'm sure a good story five years from now.

2) We brought Mike & Becky, probably the best two individuals to have on deck at a time like this. There was no griping, but instead almost cheerful engagement in the cleanup.

3) I'm taking up curling.

Which of those 3 things is false?
Haha.

This was Rob's and my first time setting foot in our new home together without Tiffany [realtor].
This will be forever how I remember this moment:

hahah.. that's about it! 

new basement, coming right up!

I guess now, we get to update on the basement renovations. Everything happens for a reason!
Good times [kinda], good friends [definitely], good night [phew]!

xo | cmd

Whew, Wednesday.

Here's something that I don't do nearly as often as I should: 

I'm fortunate to have a boss who understands me from a deeper level than daily clusters [& flusters] of activity in the office, and can sit me down in his office with a simple, "what's UP [with you]?"

Wednesdays are a good time to recount my steps taken through the week so far, and in doing so, count the ones moving forward and map out the path to take. I'm perpetually awful at delegating, so too often I find that while I'm still moving in the right direction, I'm slowed by nothing other than my own stubborn refusal to lighten the load and share it with fellow travelers. 

I know; that's a little to deep for just work stuff, but it's true. My job is one shared by many all over the country [& technically in Canada & South Africa as well], and there are days that are, despite our best efforts, prove to be not only thankless, but wholly depleting of any confidence, steam and fragment of sanity we may have had walking into it. BUT THEN, there are the days that come with a mission of triumph, happy coincidences and birthing of new partnerships. Our end goal is to help people, and although some days come to test endurance, character, tenacity and integrity, the others are there to lend reprieve and thank us for the work we do. 

To be honest, today was one of those scattered days that felt as though I was trying to boulder straight up a bar of wet soap. I mean there's really no other way to put it. I drove home in a weird cloud-like state and collapsed into a straight line on the floor as soon as I shed bags and work material. Savasana, talk some sense into me, pleaaaase..... Flow, stretch these muscles and strengthen my brain. God, I give you my frustrations, failures and gratitude and know you are unfailing. Breathe in.. and out. In... Out. Rise... Hold... Rest. REST. For just a moment, just rest. 

true story.

Volleyball was within earshot at 7:15, and came and went in a similar fashion to the day, with a player out and two others standing in, then trading the lineup mid-game - it was just as scattered as the day preceding it had been, but it was OKAY. :) We were there, in the moment, and all was well.

Rob and I jumped into tennis shoes when I got home and went for a walk, a short 2-miles of reset that was much needed for him and for me, both separately and together. 

It turned out to be a beautiful experience, all wrapped up into one, otherwise ordinary Wednesday. 

Happy Wednesday to you and yours, and HEY - Take a moment for yourself this week - whatever it is that you do, and just... BREATHE. It's OKAY.

xo | cmd

Chaco Chillin'

I think yesterday finally caught up with me. It's been an incredible weekend, but certainly a busy one! As jam-packed as it was, it was still simple, relaxing and full of friends, laughter and good vibes! I found myself after breakfast this morning realizing that our life isn't full of extravagant things, but it's filled with irreplaceable, incredible people.

We had breakfast with Jesse before he left to head back to Illinois, then ran to do some errands before heading home. We made a pit stop for Rob to cut his hair, and while he was there, I sat outside waiting in the truck, letting my feet soak up some of the Sunday sun.

workin' on the chaco tan .. haha

I circled back to the idea of living a simple life, and realized that while we're not down to the raw necessities like I somehow wish we were, we certainly don't need much more than a couple of great friends and a body of water (or forest, whatever) to bring smiles to our faces :).

I'm a pretty happy chickadee tonight.
It's back to the workweek grind tomorrow. I'm ready!

xo | cmd

Back to Reality

I came back to work today, strangely enough ready to get back. The sense of familiarity and normality was oddly comforting in its own way, and when I sat down at my desk for the first time at 7:15 today, I almost felt refreshed. Go figure.

It helped that everything I'd ordered in recent online shopping ventures was delivered in my absence, and sat neatly stacked in a pile on my desk for me: Dad's birthday present, a couple of decals I needed, some of Sydni's LoomBand accessories and these!

color run swag! ;) 

^^ Nevermind that I ordered them on Monday of last week and paid extra for 2-DAY SHIPPING; that's something I'll deal with later. I'd been confident I would receive them by Friday, in time for the actual event, but after having attended, the likelihood of my actually having worn them was about 0%, so minus the extra $6 for expedited delivery, I'm not really that mad. After this weekend, I've determined there are far fewer battles worth fighting, anyway. So yay, CR gear! :)

I was surprised at how non-confrontational the day was; it seemed as though God had specifically instructed the forces that be to remain at bay, for fear of my total unraveling as I clawed my way through switching gears from the weekend's events to life at my desk.

[image cred: instagram @pocketfuel]

Still baffled by the smoothness of the day, I gratefully accepted Jessica's invitation to dinner, but not before we met up with her to pick up the newest addition to her studio:

rower rower come on over! 

I'll see this little guy the next time I'm there at her studio!

So dinner it was, and lounge it is now. We're ready for FRIDAY!!

xo | cmd

In The Midst of It All

I took a walk this morning. The first thing I thought when I woke up was that I needed, desperately, to get outside, touch my feet to the earth and reconnect myself to it, to the circle and to the Creator. I stopped and sat for a minute, just outside the cabin, and prayed. There isn't enough gratitude in my body to fully express the way I feel today. 

Rob slept through the night just fine, with minimal pain. He went to bed with arms and legs fully in tact and functioning. He has no back injuries. Aside from the visible damage on his face, his head is fine. He is damaged, but he will be okay. Most importantly, he is still himself, but now with a heightened sense of awareness to his own vulnerability. 

But he is still here. He is alive, by the grace of a God that I will never fully understand, but praise and thank daily for the blessings - both big and small - that somehow find me, despite my (our) undeserving state. 

I called off work today. Our first task as a group was recovery of all the bikes; we visited two separate places to get Rob's, then Dillon's. 

there she goes... 

TO THE OFFICER WHO TOLD ME YESTERDAY, AT AROUND 2AM ON THE PHONE THAT ROB AND HIS BIKE WERE ESSENTIALLY TOTALED, YOU OUGHT TO BE CAREFULLY RECONSIDERING YOUR OATH TO HONESTY. You do NOT tell someone's family member a course of events that did not happen, your certainty in the matter stamped only by the status of your badge. We were told that Rob's bike was a complete lost cause, and that upon impact, he had flipped off the bike and into the unknown at that point. 

Does this look like the aftermath of a bike abandoned by flight?! 

bikes going to illinois

 No, it doesn't. 

No.... it... doesn't. Urgghhhh

The guys managed to get her up and onto the trailer, with the help of the backyardigans's flatbed. Sidenote: Here in TN, it's very lucrative to own and operate a tow business out of your house. These guys are pros at it, and if I should ever find myself living in this region, you can go ahead and know now what business I'll be pursuing.

We headed back to the cabin to do the final pack-up of our things and get all 3 bikes situated on the truck and trailer, before saying our farewell-for-now's. Dillon, Matt, Courtney & Cadence took off back to Illinois, while Rob and I made our way back here to Knoxville. We stopped at Panera for lunch, and started formulating a plan on what to do for the next couple of days. As it turns out, we'll be stuck here, since on such short notice, we aren't able to get in to any Cincinnati facilities for the surgery he'll need on Wednesday. Womp womp.

Rob found a hotel on Expedia, and long story short, we're here now, checked in and planted here for the next two nights.

The consultation appointment is tomorrow. I'll put this prayer out in the blog world for tonight: for confidence, easy nerves and painless completion of the whole ordeal.

See you in the morning!

xo | cmd

Simple Sunday

Today was a great day. It was simple, and it was great. 

I need a reminder every so often to just be still.. and live. simply.

Tomorrow we're back to the grind.
Let's do it :) Namaste.

xo | cmd

A Simple Note:

I could go on a diatribe and then some on how we should be celebrating our past, present and future military men & women today, but I'm a firm believer that we should be doing that every day... and so I'll just suffice to say this:

From my family to you and yours: 

THANK YOU. 

xo | cmd

Dear Universe....

To say this is how I felt this morning wouldn't be much of a lie.. at all:

Yeah.. it was one of those mornings. My mind wanted nothing to do with being productive, a handful of my employees clearly wanted nothing to do with going to work and after that sad excuse for a workout yesterday, my body wanted very little to do with... me. Wah, wah, wah.

Fortunately, lunch proved to be a complete turn of events, and left me without adequate words.

I decided to stop by Chipotle for lunch. Upon entering, there was a man & woman sitting outside on the sidewalk, asking passersby for spare change, saying they'd been evicted. I typically don't give money, but offered to get them some food on my way out. I doubled my order at the counter, still very skeptical about whether or not I was catering to an honest couple or being "conned." I asked the cashier to bag them separately, paid and stopped to get two forks and napkins before leaving. I walked out, handed the bag of food to them, got in my care and started bawling [like, UGLY crying, folks]. I was forced to ask myself,

WHO AM I .. to EVER judge a struggle at face value?!

That's NOT my job. WHO CARES if they did or didn't lie to me?! Call me a fool, call me whatever you want.. but this is the reality of what can happen when we all just slow down for a second and think. I don't want praise or a back-pat for this; I gave up what, 30 extra seconds and $6 - is that really that noteworthy? No. It isn't.

[no other words needed]

^This, by the way, is what I saw when I put the bags down at the fountain drink/silverware stand [& ultimately propelled me into a sputtering mess once I did get into my car. The left was theirs, and the right was mine. I was a [BIT] overwhelmed by irony today, but I wouldn't change a thing. I wonder if they read theirs. Who knows. But... Dear Universe: Message Received.

The string of fortune for me didn't end there; 4:30 rolled around and I was out the door to pick up Sydni! Her dad and I agreed that on the weeks that she is with him, she'll still be here with us every Thursday now.

And that makes me happy :D.

So this was my otherwise-uneventful-night:

my everything ♥

... And honestly, I wouldn't have had it any other way. ♥

xo | cmd

Play With Play-Doh & Love Your Laundry

There's no baptism back into real life that's quite like a Monday. Seriously. We returned yesterday from our weekend camping/boating trip outing and basically crashed. That meant that the ruptured vessel of clothes, shoes, toys and other domestic innards that is our house would be sitting on my plate when I got home.

I nearly broke my neck dragging two full laundry baskets down the stairs with Sasha trying to wiggle down with me. I lost at least four socks on the trip there and wound up dumping half of one basket in the process of retrieving said socks. I finally hauled it all into the laundry room for sorting, and repeated the whole thing until I had about four full baskets lined up for washing.
In some cases, this is room to grumble. Tonight could've been one of those nights, but as I was sorting and filling the washer with the first load, it hit me. It was so subtle that I almost missed it, but a tiny thought dawned on me:

You're a blessed girl, Cori.

#realtalk

That itty bitty little inkling of a thought spidered out into a flood of reasons that started scrolling through my head like a reel of movie credits. I'm not the only person who suffers from the blight of first world problems, but tonight I had a beautiful little moment alone, in my basement, to absorb the truth behind not just this busy little Monday, but my life in general.

This is a lot of laundry.
... Which means that my family & I have clothes on our backs.Cooking dinner is gonna take a little while.
... Which means there is food to cook here, and that my family is actually here to enjoy it.The dishes are dirty, again...
... Which means that others have been here to eat and share that time with me.

There are toys everywhere in the living room.
... I have a healthy daughter who may still want for things she doesn't have,
but she'll never go without the things she needs.

My garage is a greasy, tool-cluttered space.
... Which means I have a man here who knows how to use his hands to fix
what's broken & improve what isn't.
The basement smells like dogs.
... We have two who are more loyal and loving than I could imagine.

The garage [sometimes] smells like dude (:
... Which means the dude who lives here is worth keeping around, is here more often than not,
and in turn values the idea of being present with his family.
My schedule is so busy.
... Which means I'm a functioning part of my own life and fractions of those around me.

My Bible is falling apart.
... Which means it's a working tool in our home.

There are things I didn't accomplish today.
... Which means I have a purpose, and a reason to face every day with a mission.

 

They were in no particular order, but those are just some of the things that made me pause from my human instinct to find all of those things [&more] as burdens, rather than the misleading appearances of the real blessings in my life.

 

This little lightbulb moment pacified my urging anxiety when I subdued the laundry and headed upstairs to start working on Mother's Day cards. I was met at the top of the stairs by Sydni and a bag of play-doh that had been given to her by the Easter Bunny.

 

Folks, spending time with your toddler is always more important than whatever you've got planned. She won't remember the birthday hat, cake and present we made out of play-doh tonight, but she'll remember that her mommy played with her, and even those short couple of hours are something that neither her nor I would ever get back if it hadn't happened.

crafty little miss... ♥

Plus, let's be honest: playing with play-doh is way more fun than making cards. We can do that tomorrow. (:

play-doh party!

 

My daughter didn't miss a beat of her decorating a purple and yellow play-doh cake to say,

"Mommy, thank you for playing with me."

Whoa.
Those 6 little words, delivered by no prompting from me, made me melt. We stopped everything and wrapped each other up in a bearhug for a few minutes. I have no idea if she'll remember saying that to me, but I will never forget it.

 

My little blended family and I ate, played and laughed together tonight. We're a frazzled bunch sometimes, but frankly, I wouldn't change a thing.

 

This is what life's all about, people.
Play-doh playbreaks and loving your laundry (:

 

What a life, I tell ya... what an unpredictable, impromptu, chaotically-fun, sometimes-smelly, laundry-filled, completely blessed life ♥.

 

xo | cmd

Atlanta Bound!

No, not me.

A couple of weeks back, I received a random phone call: It was a student from Miami University [Oxford, OH, ya'll..], with the Farmer School of Business. She is apparently pursuing a path in marketing, staffing, recruiting and whatever other elements are tied into that degree. At the time, I honestly found it mildly inconveniencing, as the call happened right in the midst of a few high-priority things.

She seemed eager to learn about what we do in the world of recruiting and staffing, and I was immediately reminded that there was a point in time when I had the exact same questions. As it stands now, I love my job, so who was I to shrug off the opportunity to help someone wanting to pursue this type of role?

Anyway, it was probably a 5-minute conversation that came and went in the flow of the rest of the day. I received a nice follow-up email after that, and thought that would be the end of it.

Then this came today: 

(:

It's not much to some people, but for me, I'm pretty daggone excited for this girl and her team. Who knows if she'll remember her college trip years from now, but I hope she does and that she lands the job she's pursuing with her degree!

Good luck, Miss Alex!

Give a little back to the universe, friends. You may hear from it again, and you may not. Either way, just do it (:

xo | cmd

Ash Wednesday | Cyclones Game

Can I be an honorary Catholic for today?
... Or really, for the next 40?

Ok, so I guess I don't need to be a Catholic to participate in Lent, but it's that time and I've already read dozens of proclaimed Lent sacrifices from some of my friends. Chocolate, Facebook, smoking, wine... everyone's got their own vice they're planning to cut out for the next 40 days, and here I am trying to decide if I should or shouldn't get onboard. Again. Every year.

I decided I wanted to do something this year, but struggled with exactly what... until Marianne came up with a genius idea that I quickly and totally decided to borrow. It's really a brilliant idea, and when I asked her if she'd be offended if I did it, she just laughed and told me to share it!

It'll go something [well, exactly, really] like this:

and here.. we.. go!

Simple, right?
Actually, for the most part, yes, it looks like it will be.

Since I'm all about making everything as crafty [and sometimes consequently complicated] as possible, this is how I went about it:

1. Pick 40 names. This was probably the hardest part for me, for a few reasons. First, I got to about 29 or so and started drawing blanks. I managed to slow my brain down and add the rest, but I started to worry that maybe I didn't even have 40 peo-- well, nevermind. I have them. THEN, I struggled with the idea of accidental favoritism, like... how I would decide the order in which I did these. I decided to do this the old-fashioned way: write all 40 names on little paper strips and fold them in half...

40 names.... and... go.

... and stick them in a jar. Accidental favoritism problem solved.

names in a jar, for fun, easy picking.

To take this one step further, I thought that rather than take up space in each little note with the explanation of what it's all about, I took the corny route and put together a little card to throw in each one. I have no doubt some of my friends will laugh at this, but hey, I'm not mass-producing the notes themselves, so hopefully they'll at least appreciate that. (:

a bit corny, sure, but we'll go with it

Today was of course the first day of Lent, so that meant the first note went out today.

day 1 - done! (:

I feel good about this one. We shouldn't need a reason to occasionally reach out to the people who are sometimes obviously close to us to remind them that we appreciate them, but I'll take advantage of Lent and put my heart into it.

If you think this would be something you'd wanna do, well, it's only day 1, but I wrote & sent off the first note, and I'm so glad I did. There are going to be some tough notes written throughout this, which will probably speak to me just as much as I'm hoping they will to their recipients. This could be good... really, really good ♥.

I'll be excited to share, in 40 days, the order in which these names were drawn, and how this impacted me. Call it a mini social experiment, if you will. Day 1, done!

That was how the day started.
The day ended with dinner & a Cyclones game with some of my favorites: Rob, Becky & Paul.

these people ♥

Cincinnati hockey has never really peaked on my radar, but I've concluded that I love pretty much any type of visibly competitive sporting match, especially when it's a contact sport. As soccer players, Becky and I decided that that love comes by nature ;).

There are always the die-hard fans with clever shirts:

There are also the beeramid makers [which we all enjoy watching]:

beeramids!
=SUM[$1 beers + thirsty fans + window ledges]

And then.. there's us: 

the guys...

... & the gals

Caaaaah-lassssyyyy... we know. Haha.

We ended up losing the game in shoot-out, but for what it was, we had a great time with awesome people.

And Becky, my awesome friend that she is, gifted me with these little guys! These were carved out of a single piece of wood; she brought them back from her recent trip to Nepal. They aren't really functional, but I love them and will absolutely be putting them on display at home.

hand-carved wing-in-wing owls!

It's been a good night. Rob and I realized we had never been to a hockey game together, which is weird since STL is all about the Blues over there. Meh. The benefit of mediocre general interest here is that tickets in the 4th row back from center ice were still just $13 each. Awe-some.

first cyclones game with the best friend (:

It's almost Thursday, which means almost Friday, which means my friends from Illinois & Virginia will be here before I know it. YESSSSS.

On that note, g'nite (:

xo | cmd

Make-A-List Friday

TGIF!!!  

Oh man. There for a few minutes on Wednesday [remember, when I, and collectively the rest of my office team, thought it was Thursday?] that this week might actually continue on into 2014. Sure, it sounds dramatic, but I was ready to bid farewell on like, Tuesday morning. Just.. sayin'.

 

Thankfully, Fridays around here include all sorts of great things: the weekly office lunch, rough drafts of weekend plans and that insatiable knowledge that for two days... work will rest while we play.

 

My life revolves around lists. I make one for nearly everything. I don't know if that's an actual disorder, because someone with as many different lists should by proxy have it all together and be a beacon of organized, predictable momentum. Since I'm the opposite of that, I know that can't be their purpose. Oh well. I'll keep making them anyway...

It's November, which means half my Facebook feeds so far have been people sharing their day## of thankful person/place/thing. So today, in the spirit of being thankful - and boy, am i ever - here's a couple lists of my own.

 

There are 7 week, so here's 7 random lists of 7 in-no-particular-order things that have helped remind me this week why I should be grateful, not grumpy. ☺

 

WHY FALL & WINTER ARE OKAY {le cold months}

⋆ | It's November. My birthday is at the end of this month. Better than that, my birthday this year is on Black Friday. EVEN better, it's my "golden" birthday, meaning I'll be 29 on the 29th this year. That means I'm going to celebrate not being quite 30 yet by going not only nowhere near work, but absoluuuutely nowhere near a shopping mall or retail store that day. WIN!

⋆ | Thanksgiving. Duh! Bring on the family, the food [+the food coma] & the football!!

⋆ | Christmas. Double Duh! More family, more friends, happy kids everywhere who will get toys instead of clothes in pretty wrapped boxes. As I get older, I also see Christmas as an obligatory opportunity to reach out and show a little of that Christ-like love which I believe conquers everything. Haven't tried it yet? Donate 4 hours of your time at a soup kitchen, or fill up a shoebox with things on a list for a soldier overseas or a child who needs it. See if you don't enjoy Christmas on a whole new level.. I'm serious. [This is a GREAT way to get kids involved as a family project & show them how to be compassionate and generous to other people!]

⋆ | Snowboard season. I drool sometimes thinking about white, fluffy powder and ski lifts dropping me off at the top of a white slope. The board is waxed and tuned... who's with me?!

⋆ | HOT CHOCOLATE.

⋆ | I have an affinity for fleece blankets. Really, any blankets. It could be the middle of July and I still have a blanket handy at home. I know, it doesn't make sense in the summer months, but winter is the perfect excuse for me to shamelessly wear a snuggie around my house and dive into a bed layered with fuzzy warmth. I can't wait!  

⋆ | This December will close what has been the most tumultuous yet blessing year of my life to date. I have some people in my life who right now I could not imagine not being there, have overcome things I didn't know I was capable of conquering and have some pretty big things to anticipate for next year. Bring it on (:

 

FAVORITE SCRIPTURE {le B-i-b-l-e!}

[snippets that have definitely helped me through this past year]

⋆ | Romans 5:3-4 "... we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

⋆ | Proverbs 16:32 "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city."
⋆ | Micah 6:8 "...And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and walk humbly with your God."
⋆ |  James 1: 2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
⋆ | Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed in strength & dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."
⋆ | Isaiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'"
⋆ | James 1:19 "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

REASONS I LOVE ROB {le boyfriend}
[well, some of many]
⋆ | He gets me. Not in that cheesy 'we finish each other's sentences, like.. always!' kinda way, but in that way that typically only someone who's known you since before you knew that eating crayons and glue wasn't recommended knows you. He knows more about me sometimes than I think I do, even when I do that girly thing we do & try  to mask a feeling with "I'm okay"... ladies, ya KEEP the ones like this.

⋆ | He's compassionate. Sure, he's a pretty dudely dude, but he cares about other people and how they're doing... and if he can, he'll help.
⋆ | He's a handyman. You wanna talk about refreshing? Try being in a midnight downpour power outage with a dead sump pump, which would've flooded the entire basement had it not been for this guy. So what if it was something of a Frankensteinesque assembly; it was pitch black at 3am and the water stayed out.
⋆ | He respects me. That doesn't mean I boss him around all day [I respect him, too], but it does mean that he gives me space to move when I need it, tells me when he thinks something's a bad idea, but also knows I'm a big girl who can handle {most} of my undertakings on my own, and he expects me to do just that.
⋆ | He makes me laugh. Like, one of those real, gut-busting laughs. He's witty, sarcastic and can handle my like-minded sass in ways that just crack.. me.. up.
⋆ | We enjoy the same things! Sure, we each have our own thing, but when we hang out, there's no need to create an extensive agenda or get all fancy. Actually, our best days are spent on his motorcycle, out on the boat or romping around a mud pit somewhere in his truck.

⋆ | He loves my family.... and THEY love him. No more words needed there; that's a unique thing needing no further explanation.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY JOB {le paycheck}
⋆ | Dave, Nancy, Elisa & Nikki. You don't know what unhappy is until you have to work everyday in a space filled with people who don't get along. Fortunately, I don't have that issue. More than that, we're like a little family and that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, we LIKE it.

⋆ | WHAT I do. I'm in human resources, recruiting and staffing. That means that on any given day, I could meet both the happiest and frumpiest two people in the city, bill a fortune 500 company or turn a mom-n'-pop shop away from the idea of ever using an agency again, and make or break my own paycheck. What I know for a fact is that there is never a day just like the one before, and I am very literally helping people, every... single.. day. I'm giving back, and that makes me happy.
⋆ | My company. For the most part, it's simple to navigate, and there's not a lot of hidden agenda lurking around in the land of the big wigs. I came from a place a few years back where the hidden agenda was pretty much the only agenda; believe me, this is a stark contrast and I haven't looked back since.
⋆ | Networking! If you're from any concentrated metro/city region, you know how incestuous it can be [no, not that way; I'm not talking about genetics]. It is definitely true, here at least, that if you are a part of this city's professional fabric for any solid amount of time, you're connected to a... lot of people, who do a lot of different things. Sure, competition is rigid here, but on those special occasions when we band together as professionals to benefit each other's business, it's really a cool thing.
⋆ | I work with people.. all day long. I'm one of the wackos who loves working with people. We are all a little nutty, but I wouldn't change a thing.
⋆ | Since I started with this company, I've been blessed to work for three different owner couples, each to whom I attribute much of my professional success. That, and they're all just great people. My bosses currently are two of the most generous, understanding people I've ever encountered, and I have no doubt we will be soaring high next year!
⋆ | OFFICE LUNCHES!! I never thought I'd be in an office where the bosses treat everyone to Friday lunch..... every. single. Friday. Since today was Friday, we chose Naked Pizza just up the street in Rookwood. They delivered. It was amaaaaazing. We were happy. (:


#cincynakedpizza #calzone!

FRI+SAT+SUN WILL BE HAPPY BECAUSE... {le weekend}
⋆ | I don't work on Saturdays! I'm one of the lucky ones and I know it. Trust, I don't ever take that for granted. That means sleeping in, slow-cooked homemade breakfast, and if I'm feeling spry, Saturday morning cartoons. Don't you dare judge me.
⋆ | Brittany's birthday bonanza is tomorrow. That means a huge group dinner, followed by karaoke, undoubtedly littered the entire time with some of my favorite, hilarious people.
⋆ | Church Sunday. I chronicled last week about the Relentless series that my church is studying now. I've read up on some of the notes from last week and I am pretty much craaaving more.
⋆ | I have a retail mission this weekend. I'm one of those mutated human females that does not enjoy shopping for myself, but I've got an event scheduled next weekend for which I'll need to be donning something more than what I usually do. My goal: NOT spend an arm, a leg and an entire day doing it.
⋆ | Cincinnati is always busy. There's a laundry list of different things to do pretty much any and every weekend here. Off the top of my head I know there's a brew-off with Fifty West & Great Lakes tomorrow, and UBahn is happening all this weekend. We're no dull community!
⋆ | I am GOING to finish reading Allegiant this weekend! Nikki already told me the end of it is going to break my heart, but hey, I'll take it. I need to finish reading the daggone thing.
⋆ | Monday, though not part of the weekend, follows Sunday and that means Sydni will be back!! I can't wait to see her. I've even got a few surprises... sorry, no spoilers!

SYDNI IS MY CLONE BECAUSE {le daughter}
⋆ | She has my nose & my eyes. Her hair's much lighter and so is her skin tone, but she didn't escape the Filipino brown eyes and pug nose. Frankly, it's much cuter in a miniature version, just like every other stinkin' thing about her.
⋆ | We have the same food likes and dislikes. Likes? Popcorn, cereal, PB&J, spaghetti, chicken. Dislikes? Cauliflower, green olives, pickles, hot sauce.
⋆ | She's sassy. I mean, this one shouldn't be on here because I know I'm just bubbles and fluff and candid and all that....... yeah, that's completely bogus. She's got a little 'tude to her, which from what I hear from my parents' recollection of my childhood... is not far from the tree.
⋆ | She's ambidextrous, too! Well, from as far as I can tell.. granted she's only four, but still. She uses both hands, and I think I'll keep encouraging that.
⋆ | She's got a heck of a left foot on a soccer ball. Make mama PROUD with that one ;) ;)
⋆ | We sleep in the exact same positions, whether it's on our bellies or on our backs: bellies with elbows and hands tucked up under our chins, and backs with one hand behind our head and the other sprawled out wherever it lands.
⋆ | She has the same quick wit and clever - also stubborn - sense of independence that I know I had as a munchkin. She won't let anyone help her with something unless she's certain she can't do it. My mom'll be the first one to tell you she stopped being allowed to fix my hair when I was about... oh I dunno, four? [payback, Cori.... payback...]. While I know it's going to give me gray hair, vericose veins and probably a false heart attack or two when she's a teenager, I'm also inclined to be thankful of where that self-respecting, independent mind can carry her as an adult.

 & lastly....

This viral thing that's going around right now on Facebook... someone lists however many things about themselves that nobody knows, and whoever comments is in turn given their own number. They then, must post that many things about themselves that nobody knows. I've so far withheld from participating.

...On Facebook, that is. I figured since I'm listing things right now, heck, I might as well.

7 RARELY-KNOWN THINGS 'BOUT ME {le exposé! *gasp}
⋆ | I'm abidextrous.. sorta. I am primarily right-handed but can scribe decently with my left. My feet however are reversed. In soccer, my left foot is my striker and my right foot, well.. manages.
⋆ | I sang on stage with John Denver when I was in 7th grade. It was a Christmas concert in Columbus Ohio and I sang a duet portion with him in Winter Wonderland.
⋆ | There are four freckles / miniature birth marks on my face, one in each "corner." If you connect them, it's a parallelogram.
⋆ | Also, I'm keloid from the waist up.. which means that my scars are inside out. If you've ever seen me in anything lower cut than a T-shirt, you've seen them. They don't do anything, they're just... there. Inside out scars. Awesome.

weirdo face freckles!

⋆ | My mother was the president of our local humane society growing up. I learned to love animals at age 2, and have since been a foster mom to over 20 dogs and owned 2 pythons, 8 piranhas, an albino cornsnake, a maine coon cat, 2 pittie pups and at one point, a very angry chameleon named Frankie. However, I am deathly terrified of spiders, especially the furry ones. I see no good reason to become friends with a spider who has more hair per square inch of its body than I do. Weird.
⋆ | I have never eaten ribs, a steak or a red meat burger. In fact, I'm allergic to red meat, so go on and say that I'm 'missing out,' but frankly I prefer chicken over food poisoning. Oh, and I eat popcorn in some form every... single... day. Don't hate. (:
⋆ | I have a metal plate and 10 screws in my left shoulder from a soccer injury. I shattered my collarbone into a bunch of little pieces and waited, just like that, for TWO days before they finally operated on me and put in my hardware. It's cool though; I'm now more than a ninja... I'm a bionic ninja. ROCK. ON.

And so there!

I'm listed out.
See ya on the flipside. Happy Weekend!!!

xo | cmd

[Encouragement] Exactly When You Need It

Rob and I went to church this morning.
.... An hour early.

Woops. I've been out of town for the past several weekends, and with everything that's happened over the past few days, all I knew was that we were going to church. Why I thought it was at 10am, I'm not sure... but we filled the idle time with breakfast before heading back for the 11am service.

Today was one of those days that I .. just .. knew He would have something in store for us. It's been a stressful time over the past few days, and though it's all settled now, there are still other [unrelated] challenges for us to face together in the very immediate future, and it's not going to be a walk in the park. I couldn't count how many times I've closed my eyes even for just seconds to pray over all of this, for the answers to be revealed, whether in our favor or not, and for some sort of direction. Most of all, I'm praying for tenacity. We are all called at points to be a rock for someone else, and I feel that right now that's my position. So some courage, tenacity and some direction are things I'm after these days.

And then Pastor Jeff hit us with this [I want MORE]:

sonrise series: relentless

^ This is the series in session right now at SonRise. PJ wasted no time unfolding this to us, digging specifically into the life of Abraham and the life of change he endured at the most unexpected times. Today's installment of the series posed the question,

"How can I be relentless with my faith to change?"

I was glued to my seat, and as I saw Rob nodding occasionally in my peripherals, I knew I wasn't alone.  Call me stoic here, but the hour and some change that we spent listening to this message today was a pivotal point for me.. for us.. in realizing our own potential if we can just clear away the doubt and replace it with faith. I hate to admit that I walked into church today feeling not entirely defeated.. but certainly deflated and a little lost in the clutter of our current situation.


from illinois to ohio...

We are in the process of relocating Rob from Illinois to Ohio. Like I said, that's not going to be an easy feat for either of us. Until he has his feet firmly planted in a solid job here, I will bear some of the weight of sustenance. Adversely, when he leaves Illinois, there will be family and friends in his absence that he won't see every day. He'll be in a new city, and - for a touch of humor in it all - he'll be stuck with me as a primary friend.. at least immediately. ;) . But really, this is going to test us on a multitude of different levels because there is never a guarantee that any given plan will run its course without deviation or hurdle, but today I was reminded that if I - if we - are RELENTLESS in our faith, then we will focus on the next step, one at a time, reminded that while change does require sacrifice, we will never be given more than we can handle.

I definitely have something new to reflect on and pray over during devo time this week (:

After church, we stopped by the house to unwind for a little before heading to Brittany's to watch the game. Rob hadn't been to her house yet, so it was nice to show him around and of course to see Brittany & her boyfriend Joe, Kalyn, Keifer, Kara & her friend McKayla. We hung out there for a little bit before Keifer had to split out for work. Shortly after that we followed him down to Bakersfield for some grub to end out the day.

bakersfield tacos. nobody's mad. (: (: (: (:

And since Keifer was working, of course there were some spirits a-flowin'. Kalyn ordered a round of this stuff [let's just say it's clear and you take it with salt+lime].. we're a goofy bunch but I love 'em.

kalyn. rob. brittany. joe
tequi, tequi, tequiiiila...

We left Bakersfield and now we're here, at home, watching Olympus Has Fallen, which is probably going to give me nightmares about our country going under seige in a sheerly apocolyptic way. Go figure; I should've known better, watching an action flick with the main protagonists being who they were. I'm a big fan of Gerard Butler and Aaron Eckhart, so I suppose it wasn't a total loss.

A few days ago I wasn't sure just how this weekend would go, but today, all the way around was testament that right here, right now, we have the unwavering faithfulness of the God we serve, and the friends next to us that are there.. really there.. when we need them. It's the month of being thankful, and on this 10th day of it, I am absoLUTELY thankful for what we have, including the struggles that will fortify us for pursuing through them. [BE RELENTLESS! ;) ]

Rob leaves tomorrow to head back to Illinois and I've gotta be up to beat Monday morning to the punch, so we'll say good night for now (:

xo | cmd