First of all, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! This is one of my favorite holidays all around, primarily because of the whole family vibe, but definitely in part to the unrealistic amount of food consumed in the span of just a few hours.*Sigh.
So the inescapably-abridged version of my current status looks a little something like this:
I am in the middle of a divorce. There. I said it. I hate to throw that boulder in the road right in the middle of Thanksgiving [of all times], but please trust me when I say I'll tie it all together.
Since I'm sure there are at least one or two questions about that statement, this is where I start incorporating the current with my overall gratitude on this holiday.
I married an incredible man. I still believe hat whole-heartedly about him. What? Well then why....? I know. It seems that, by default, we should be soaring right along in a life of marital bliss with the occasional hiccup. You'd be right to think that, but unfortunately it didn't turn out that way. I am not proud of the way things have turned out, and I don't endorse or support divorce [I hate that word, too]. Never did I intend on reaching the point of ultimate separation from the man to whom I pledged my entire life, but after years of praying and pleading for my heart to feel something I already knew had become foreign and intolerable, I caved to myself and made what I viewed as a courageous attempt to grant us both real happiness later in life. That we didn't work out will always haunt me in the sense that I should've weighed it on the front end much more closely than I did, made far more attempts to settle disputes as they came, and communicated better. Take that for what it is; I am just as guilty here. I am thankful for the experience as a whole, and as testing as it's been, I know we will both emerge on the other side as stronger people, better partners to the next who walk into our lives, and wiser parents. The rest of this is pretty standard stuff....
I have a daughter for whom I'd not only die, but for whom I would give the world, the stars, and a planet if I ever discovered a way to wrangle one. There's something to be said about the love for and of a child that only eminates from a parent. Some of you know. Some of you, I hope one day will. It'll stand uncontested. End of story.
My family: words wouldn't do them justice. All I can say there is that I'm adopted, but that doesn't matter. I have a family rivaling most. We're quirky, dysfunctional and totally loving every minute of it.
My friends: Y O U guys & girls are a group to be ENVIED. I say that not because you're my friends, but because you are absolutely. freaking. amazing. I didn't ask for your support and I didn't expect you to be there when I fell off whatever pedestal of contentment I'd had for whatever time. You were there. You were supportive, and you were more than willing to love me for me in spite of my nuuuumerous imperfections. One of these days I'll return those favors. Until then, just know that I love you to the ends of the world and back. I'd be a blundering mess if it weren't for some of you, and literally dead or dying if it weren't for a few of you specifically. Thank you. I mean it.
My head spins sometimes when I think about the level of gratitude I have for the elements of my life - both the good, the bad, and shoot, even those that just seem to be neutrally supplemental. I'm one lucky girl, in spite of whatever you've heard ;)
xo | cmd
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