Let's just cut to it: 2017 is over and 2018 is here. I was barely awake to see it happen, but only because I'm a 30something bi-ped trapped in the body of a 400-yr-old tree snail with social anxiety.
Okay, not entirely true, but neither was I planning for nor interested in the flashy show of
'going out' as is deemed traditional for ushering out the old and in the new. Life as I know it only includes that type of production for special occasions, and I've found out that's not a bad thing.
As with every new year, I'm programmed just like the majority of us to see this as a window of opportunity to...
fill in the blank. I look back at the last decade's worth of promises I made to myself as each new year strolled in, and I know they were all over the place.
I found an old
(other)blog entry from 2009 where I told myself I'd finally learn Dutch that following year, which is my sister's native language. It's 2018 and no, I don't speak Dutch. In the last hours of December 2012, I promised myself that in 2013, I'd find a way to get out of Illinois where I'd been living, and back home to Ohio. By March, I was. Last year, in 2016/17, I told myself I would read more books. It wasn't as lofty a goal as some I'd set before, but it did require me to be intentional, and by proxy taught me a thing or two about the patience I do and do not have for the resolve that I want to reflect in all the areas of... me. And yes, I did some reading: 28 books for the year, which isn't bad for someone who has started and re-started this entry at least four times because she can't stay focused.
Moving along....
2017
2017: I learned
a lot (
more, because this is a living process) about what it means to embrace the best & worst of
all of it. 2017 gave me time with family, incredible friends (both old and new), adventures, missions trips, successes & disappointments, several swift reality checks and a small but steadfast support network that continue to have an un-explainable yet equally-unfailing faith in me. In 2017, I didn't learn that my family and truest friends can be counted on two hands. That much I already knew. Instead, I realized just how quintessential those relationships are, and that relying on them is not a weakness, but instead making a choice to let walls down, and allow those people see the best, the
absolute worst and everything in between. 2017 had a solid stock of adversity to share with me over its 12 months, and while I wish I could say that my responses were always graceful, well.. that's just not true. They saw all my awkward recoveries, loved me frankly and objectively through them and reminded me that it's okay to be
not okay in a world that suggests our worth is tied to just how
okay we can be. I also got to know some incredible new people, who defy those archaic suggestions that your best friends should be your oldest. You know who you are - know that I love you beyond measure. ♥
2017 was kind enough to do so gradually, but set courses to develop me in the big arenas: my family, my work, my church. I became a full time installment on the worship team, and in doing so found a team of people whose passion for music and ministry is contagiously inspiring. We continue to watch as our church family grows and invests in tangible, hands-on levels for each other. On the professional side, I'm six months back into life as it should be for what I do. My back is covered by a team with the same goals and genuine desire to find them as a unit. We're invested in each other, and if there's one thing I saw this year, is that the daily grinds are worlds apart when that piece is missing. On the family front, there is work to be done, and 2017 provided the avenues to start working towards goals with Sydni and as a family unit. We made it a point to be present with immediate and extended family, and plan to be even more so over the next year. Vacations, spontaneous outings and hopefully no more broken bones (fingers crossed)!
2018
2018 : First things first: Whole30.
^ I committed the month of January to Whole30, at the persuasive bidding of my friend Jess. (P.S. - If you're lucky enough to have a friend whose life's work is to help other people become even better in their own skin...
embrace it!) Anyway, for those of you unfamiliar with Whole30, it's a dietary re-set program designed to eliminate foods and food groups that keep the body from functioning at its best. As with anything in the
diet category, there are plenty of things to cut out, but in this case, it's being replaced by whole and raw foods, which fundamentally is how we should be eating anyway. So for the next month, I and a handful of other determined people are saying goodbye to sugar, dairy, alcohol, legumes, grains and of course 99% of all things processed. In their place come the perimeter foods, as I call them - the stuff that usually is found in the outer rings of most grocery stores: fruits, produce, plant-based starches (most of them) and core protein sources like eggs and lean meats. Fortunately, thanks to growing up in a homeopathic household and years of athletic conditioning, I'm coming into this with at least a basic understanding of decent food practices that are appropriate for the lifestyle I want. This for me is a method of fine-tuning it all, and eradicating the stuff around it that's there solely because it's convenient and comfortable. I'm not a crash-dieter, I want to be clear on that. This isn't a crash diet, it's an investment and I'm happy to have a stellar group of guys & girls on board for this session! January Whole30 - we've got this!
It's a process in itself, honestly. I mulled around quite a bit trying to decide how many and how extreme I wanted to get with this New Years Resolution business. I've learned that, from a broad prospective, setting vague goals is easier than putting a specific face to an objective, and beyond that, a deadline. I've also learned that putting too many individual goals on the board makes for a frustrated me, when I realize I don't have the wherewithal to invest as wholly into all of them as would be needed to feel fully accomplished. If I just confused you, don't worry.. It made more sense in my head before it came out, but the gist of it is that my
GOALS for 2018 are both broad
and pointed:
 |
| (i didn't write this, but i like it!) |
Less and More. Basic opposition and balance at the same time. Less talking, more listening - and more awareness of what it is I'm listening
to. More doing, and maybe more planning this time around, too - especially for those big trips across country lines into places where my Passport precedes me. Less negativity overall, but an understanding that acknowledging it doesn't necessarily mean I
am negative, but that my actions are intentional and reflecting the goal to weed out whatever it brings: worry, stress, doubt, ungrateful attitudes. It's not on that list up there, but more travel. More adventure: more mud under my nails and more nights spent in a tent off the grid. More hikes with like-minded people who fuel me not just physically, but intellectually and emotionally. More volunteering (
YES REBECCA, more blood drives...) haha. More humbling myself to let the seasoned and successful pioneers in my career field pour into me, and less obliging that small voice to just
do it tomorrow. Less excuses and filling up my schedule with things that don't promote self-care or time for the people who matter, and more confidence in saying 'no' to things asked of me that I know are outside of my limits.
More memories, and less worry that I'll miss them.
2017 was a good year, at the end of the day.
2018, let's see what you've got. ♥
Whatever your visions are for 2018, I hope you're ready to love yourself through every day of pursuing them! I have high hopes for this year, and while I'm not planning on it to be a perfect walk in the park, I am planning to position myself so that I'm ready to push when I need to, and be still when I don't. To be a better daughter. A better sister. A better mother & wife. A better Christian, colleague, athlete, bookworm and human. The only competition I'll have in 2018 is the one through which I can measure whether or not I'm a better version of myself than I was the day, week, month.. year before. If I can do that, I think I've got this :)
Oh, and in case you thought I'd be heading into the new year with a serious face, let me set the tone for you of how it's likely to look:
I mean.... this is just who I am, and those of you who have the unfortunate luck of knowing me well, know that this is 110% accurate ;) But hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, what can you do?
Happy 2018, blogbots! ♥
xo |
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