Why Do Good Things Happen To Bad People? [Excerpts from Job]

Do ya'll ever have one of those days, or in this case weeks.. where your head just spins seemingly nonstop, and that one collected moment you rely on to carry you through just isn't available? Instead, it's a barrage of phone calls, time-sensitive demands and meetings. It's after-work obligations, appointments, errands and bedtimes that come all too soon, even though they're not until midnight. It's dinner that you don't eat until almost 10pm because that's barely an hour after you get to your house since you left it that morning. 

That's been this week for me. Much of that has been fruitful, productive and positive activity, but it still begs more of me sometimes than I feel like I'm physically and emotionally capable of delivering. My patience has been tested in new and unpredictable ways this week, so [as always,] the timing for this recap and study couldn't have been more perfectly aligned for me.

Chris opened the study with a pretty broken-in question: 

graphic cred: crosstownalliance.com

I'll preface this by saying that although my week's been a harum-scarum, please don't think that I believe there's any weight of comparison between that and Job's life. My problems at the moment are all first-world issues, and don't include any feelings that an hour's time alone in a hammock couldn't appease.

Job, on the other hand.. 

[If you haven't read Job, I recommend it. Caveat to that though, is my additional recommendation not to read it first, if it's the first and only thing in the Bible that you'll be reading. I mean, you can, but although it's got a happy ending, it's not the most encouraging thing for the first few chapters. You've been cautioned.]

Want the Cori Cliff Notes? Okay: 

Job's got the life: he's wealthy from a worldly and materialistic standpoint. He has a wife, grown children, grandchildren and servants. He has herds of animals and massive plots of acreage. He's known by everyone in a time & world where social media [or cameras, phones & cars in general] do not exist. [GASP]. He's a sturdy, healthy man who also happens to be God-fearing and humble. Satan comes along one day and challenges the resolve of Job's faith against the onset of destruction and personal loss, and God allows all but his own personal death to come to him for the sake of proving a point to Satan that a man after God's own heart cannot be deterred. Job's herds are killed, his entire family (sans wife) is crushed in an accident, his physical body is stricken with open boils and sores and to top it off, his wife and friends encourage him to rebuke the name of the creator of all that is. 

That.. is a bad week. 

Like I said, probably not the first book I would've wanted to read when I started on my journey to understand the Bible. 

So throughout all. of. this, we have Job dropping to his knees and raising his eyes to the Heavens and thanking God for the blessings he has otherwise received, and acknowledging that if God has given, it is that same intrinsic and divine right for Him to take away. 

He. Praises. God. 

In a time like that. 

And here I am, conditionally promising my best behavior at work, mentally, to a God who moved planets and breathed stars to life, if He'll just keep that dozen or so of the most pesty associates and clients at bay for however many hours I want to focus on whatever else. 

For all it looks like, Job is an upstanding citizen, father, husband, community role model, boss and entrepreneur. He loses everything. He's stripped down to nearly dust, but at the end of the story [fast forward], is replenished and rewarded with seven more children, full herds, servants, land and everything nearly tenfold what had been lost before. He grows old, dies with a full and wise heart and is remembered and cherished by his family and friends. 

But he was a GOOD PERSON before that, though.. so why'd all this happen in the first place? 

What a PERFECT question for a time like this. With less than a full week having passed since the madness in Orlando, I'm sure now is an appropriate a time as there ever was to be asking, 

WHY DO BAD THINGS
HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?!

Christina Grimmie. Forty-nine people in a nightclub. A little boy on the bank of a pond.
And this is just ORLANDO!

Lives lost, families torn apart, communities shaken to the core. 

I want to know why BAD THINGS happen to GOOD PEOPLE. 

Her name is Krista, and while she might not remember, she said something to me in 1999 when we lost a classmate to a shooting incident in my small hometown. Krista was [& still is] my youth pastor's wife, and when that happened, stepped in to help council those of us in our youth group who'd been affected. I asked her the same question then, through 15-year-old eyes that didn't understand half of what they do now about the world or life in general: Krista, WHY do bad things happen to good people?!

And she answered, "I don't know." 

Now, before I share what she said in addition to that, let me say this: that was 17 years ago and I still remember it as clearly as if I'd just heard it: "I don't know." What had I been expecting to hear, that I was so surprised by that? Some eloquent, lofty explanation full of churchy verbiage and verses from Isaiah and Proverbs? I was 15. Who knows, maybe I wasn't aware then that there isn't an answer to that that qualifies as absolute, or perfect. No one answer will satisfy that question in every one of its countless available contexts. But in that moment, it was exactly what I needed to hear. That I was not the only who didn't have all the answers. 

As I said, there was more to it, but by priming whatever came next with the understanding that it was her personal opinion on why, based on a much more mature understanding of life and life as a Christ-follower. She played for me Refiner's Fire, and her belief that refinement is a process that does not come easy. Years later, I would connect this with another counselor's comparison to the process of exacting brilliant diamonds: by applying pressure. 

At nearly 32, I look back at those two conversations, and all those looped up in between, coupled with the life experiences I've had since then, and believe whole-heartedly in 2 things: 

1. I will never know the "right" answers to some of the questions I have, namely that one.  

and
2. I am perfectly content in not knowing. I am here now, and I'm who I am now, because of several separate and ongoing refining processes. Growth is not happening if I'm not being challenged, in some form. Some challenges apply more pressure than others, and they end up hurting.. sometimes a lot. But I'm not dead [yet, & sometimes miraculously so, but I digress]... and given that one simple, indisputable fact, I think God's been a little more than good to me. 

********************

Now, I'm not blind to what a lot of people might think about my diatribe about faith and God and the whole Christian thing, especially in the light of what's been happening in Orlando. I just said that I don't have all the answers, but I do believe something [& I'm not alone]. The one, true God that I love, honor and strive to follow, does NOT capitalize on hate. He doesn't encourage humans to kill other humans. He doesn't give any of us permission to damage the soul of another human for the benefit of proving a point. He demands that we love, unconditionally, wholly and like that of a child - blind to prejudice of any format. THAT.. is God. He forgives, but does not forget, and we are accountable to Him. "Good deeds" don't get us to Heaven; our hearts do, and I for one refuse to step up on the day I leave Earth with a heart that's harbored years of hate, judgment, self-righteousness or spite. I'm a work in progress. We all are. 

And in that way, I've prayed for and mourned from miles away here in Ohio for those in Orlando. For those in California, and for the rest of our world, where humans are hurting other humans, and creating new generations of humans who will never learn not to hurt other humans. It's dizzying.

BUT.. Why do bad things happen to good people?!

Ya'll... I don't know. BUT, I have seen from this great distance [imagine how this looks up close, how fantastic and intense it must be!] how global communities are banding together, not just residents in Orlando. Humans, around the world are seeing this and reacting in the only one true way that will ever, ever, ever stop the cycle of destroying each other: by LOVING EACH OTHER. Families supporting broken mothers, fathers, siblings whose loved ones never came home from that club. Businesses providing resources for their community. Strangers reaching out to strangers to offer words of encouragement. Athletes, musicians, celebrities, charity organizations everywhere campaigning for more love, and less hate. The internet, in all its glorious relevance these days, teeming with videos, campaigns, messages promoting open hearts and awareness. 

The small voice in the back of my mind thinks that maybe, just maybe, in spite of this enormous, unspeakably unnecessary and devastating chain of events, this surge of new activity pointing us back in the direction of loving one another for who and where we each are, and appreciating what that really means... maybe that wouldn't be happening at this magnitude, without something a such a punctuated prompt. Fifty-one(+++) reasons inspiring us to end hate and seek love. It's a risk to say that, I know; the mother whose son or daughter was gunned down, terrified and desperate in those last moments, likely won't agree. The parents who lost their little boy during what was supposed to be a joy-filled family vacation. The brother who tackled a gunman after watching his baby sister gunned down as she signed autographs. Maybe they won't agree. At least not right now, and maybe never.. and that's okay, but I do believe that ashes pave the way to new growth. I believe loss can ruin us, or it can fuel us. 

And I believe in [the power of] prayer. 

And healing.
And community, fellowship.

And forgiveness.
And action.

And I believe in the process of refinement. 

********************

I left small group feeling really weird, but in a good way. I felt really convicted [aka guilty], for starters, to get over myself and this seemingly "bad day" that I'd had. After studying Job and dissecting the hell that he had to endure in order to be refined, my week looks much more mundane. I'll take a feeling of foolishness any day if I can also find that type of perspective.

On, and this was the sky tonight: 

Hey, God. Thank you.♥

I hope ya'll have a beautiful evening. I don't know if anyone out there needed a pep talk as much as I did today, but if you did [or still do], I'm that random stranger on the internet here to tell you that you're much more than you think, and you're not giving yourself enough credit. Now, if you're feeling pretty good with where you are, go find one of those people who felt like I did all day today, and share some of that love with them. Chances are, you'll both benefit from it. 

Let's all be good people. To ourselves and to each other.
And let's maybe teach the little- and big! - ones around us, to be good, too.
Life's a little nicer when we are. ♥

xo | cmd

Let's NOT Forget

Yes, I remember where I was when the first plane hit the World Trade Center in 2001. I will never forget the confusion, fear and anger that spread out over all of us, two states away in classrooms that would never feel the physical aftermath of the buildings collapsing to the ground. I was stunned. The entire world was stunned.

And now, it's 13 years later. Thirteen years later. I hope that amount of time does nothing to dull our sympathies for the families whose loved ones never returned that day, and that we will remember what that day meant for our nation as a unit to respond and band together with each other against the enemy.

Facebook of course was teeming all day with pictures to commemorate the 13th anniversary of that horrible event; two of them stood out to me and I hope they might resonate with someone out there, as well.

the twin towers

a light against the sky.. we will not forget

For the service personnel and rescuers on and following that day in 2001, and for the families of those who never reported back: Thank you, from one person and her family here in Ohio, for the sacrifice you endured to uphold the safety of our nation and all of us in it. We are indebted to you.

In our daily routine here, it was the standard workday followed by picking up Sydni and heading to the store for some last minute dinner items. Sydni specifically needed some noodles and green beans, so she bought, bagged and carried her own groceries.

little grocery shopper

Yep. That's my little Toms-wearing, canvas-bag-toting, wind-blown-hair child marching out of Kroger like she just bought the place. I. Love. Her.

Tomorrow is Friday and that is fine with me.

xo | cmd

Happy Birthday, Jena ♡

It's both a complete cliche and a gross understatement when people say, "Life is short."

...But ya know what, it is.

 

Today would've been the 29th birthday of my friend Jena. Baby Braylon would be 3 now, and I can't even begin to imagine where they would both be in life.

 

Isn't it strange how we can't remember what we had for breakfast half the time, but will remember with diamond-grade clarity the exact moment we were given news that crushed us? I could tell you precisely where I was, with whom, and even how many other people were there, when Hilary called me to tell me that Jena had passed away, along with unborn baby Braylon.

not my best picture, but jena looks beautiful (: | circa 1999

For my classmates from childhood back in Mt. Vernon, or really any of you who grew up in small towns, it's without a doubt impossible to avoid something like this. The entire community ripples from the blow, regardless of whether or not they were close to the person. They mourn together, are angry together, but most importantly, support and heal together.

Not long after Jena's death, I joined the AFSP [American Foundation for Suicide Prevention]. I'm still an active field representative for Southwestern Ohio, and I would encourage any of you out there to at least check out the organization, for either your sake or for anyone you know who may be fighting that silent battle for whatever reason.

Jena, it will be four years this November since I got that phone call. Today I would've called you to wish you a happy almost 30th birthday, and we would've joked about how we never planned to escape high school, let alone make it to 30. I've been fighting tears already today knowing that you didn't, and trying my best to fill that hurt with the things that I remember that were the reasons we were friends to start with.

My heart is broken today for the Fogle family, for Jamie & RJ and their parents, and for every other family who is now comprised of the survivors of a suicide. [For the Gasiorowski,  Savoia and Dollenger families, to name a few: I know this is a very real pain for you, and my heart goes out to you today.]


I don't know why you did what you did, Jena. For a long time I was angry; I was more furious than I had been with anyone in as long as I could remember. I couldn't fathom reaching that point of complete exhaustion. Like so many people, I thought it was insanely selfish. My heart broke at your service to watch your parents, your brothers, who in their brokenness seemed to have all aged decades in just days. I was angry that we had spoken the day before this happened and made plans for that following weekend. I thought for a long time that if I had been there one week sooner, .............. who really even knows how to finish a sentence like this?! ... I realized once I became a part of the AFSP that I didn't - and won't - ever understand what it feels like to reach that breaking point. I won't ever know what it means to stand on the edge and feel like the last step is the last resort. I won't, so I have no room to judge or speculate over what you felt, what you experienced. All I know is that I'm sorry, for perhaps not listening more, or not being a more proactive friend... whatever it was that I could've done to remind you that you were - ARE - loved. I'm sorry I didn't understand, and I miss you.

I love you my friend, and I hope that you have the most incredible birthday with little Braylon. You have no idea how much you're missed, every day by your family and friends.

.... missing you.

Happy birthday, Jena ♥

xo | cmd

Dinsdag!

^ Bet you thought that was some sort of funky proclamation, eh? Nope. Well, look it up, if you must, and you'll be faintly disappointed that I'm really just a little bored. That's my itty bitty tribute to my sister for the day. [If you don't get it, don't worry 'bout it ;).. ]


amelia



Anyhoot, happy birthday, Amelia Earhart! I hopped on Google this morning [I am slave to that thing] and borrowed this little tribute picture for her. I wonder.. just wonder.. if the day will come when the speculation will be forced to stop when someone discovers the proven remains of Miss Earhart and her plane. I'm sure it'll be one of those monumental moments in history that will be ironic in that she's probably nowhere near where we think she is now. Who knows. I'm no expert. :p

Anyway, I wanted to, on a more serious note, share something I found online and felt should be recognized. In the wake of the events from Friday in Colorado, someone compiled this. Just looking at it makes me so sad for the world in which we live, the people left behind to mourn the voids created by this one man, for James Holmes, and for the mass of lost people we so desperately seek to reach.

Without speculating, I can only say that I am at a complete loss of words for the pain, for the weight of missed moments and regret that inevitably weigh on the shoulders of the loved ones left behind - be they justified or not. My prayer for healing, endurance, but above all peace is just one of the millions being lifted up for these families, but it is there, and I mean every ounce of it from the bottom of my heart.

I believe in the sun | even when it's not shining. | I believe in love | even when I don't feel it. | And I believe in God | even when He is silent. || - BarlowGirl

Tragedy or no tragedy, it's never too late or too early to remind ourselves and the ones we love what love means. I have only had friends unfairly taken out of this world at what seemed like a premature time, but I take solace in knowing that it's not our time on which these things function, and within each painful moment there is a reason, a deeper meaning purposed to remind us of our fundamental purpose.

Things to think about.

I'm a bit scattered today. : /

I'll pick this back up tomorrow.

xo | cmd