Why Do Good Things Happen To Bad People? [Excerpts from Job]

Do ya'll ever have one of those days, or in this case weeks.. where your head just spins seemingly nonstop, and that one collected moment you rely on to carry you through just isn't available? Instead, it's a barrage of phone calls, time-sensitive demands and meetings. It's after-work obligations, appointments, errands and bedtimes that come all too soon, even though they're not until midnight. It's dinner that you don't eat until almost 10pm because that's barely an hour after you get to your house since you left it that morning. 

That's been this week for me. Much of that has been fruitful, productive and positive activity, but it still begs more of me sometimes than I feel like I'm physically and emotionally capable of delivering. My patience has been tested in new and unpredictable ways this week, so [as always,] the timing for this recap and study couldn't have been more perfectly aligned for me.

Chris opened the study with a pretty broken-in question: 

graphic cred: crosstownalliance.com

I'll preface this by saying that although my week's been a harum-scarum, please don't think that I believe there's any weight of comparison between that and Job's life. My problems at the moment are all first-world issues, and don't include any feelings that an hour's time alone in a hammock couldn't appease.

Job, on the other hand.. 

[If you haven't read Job, I recommend it. Caveat to that though, is my additional recommendation not to read it first, if it's the first and only thing in the Bible that you'll be reading. I mean, you can, but although it's got a happy ending, it's not the most encouraging thing for the first few chapters. You've been cautioned.]

Want the Cori Cliff Notes? Okay: 

Job's got the life: he's wealthy from a worldly and materialistic standpoint. He has a wife, grown children, grandchildren and servants. He has herds of animals and massive plots of acreage. He's known by everyone in a time & world where social media [or cameras, phones & cars in general] do not exist. [GASP]. He's a sturdy, healthy man who also happens to be God-fearing and humble. Satan comes along one day and challenges the resolve of Job's faith against the onset of destruction and personal loss, and God allows all but his own personal death to come to him for the sake of proving a point to Satan that a man after God's own heart cannot be deterred. Job's herds are killed, his entire family (sans wife) is crushed in an accident, his physical body is stricken with open boils and sores and to top it off, his wife and friends encourage him to rebuke the name of the creator of all that is. 

That.. is a bad week. 

Like I said, probably not the first book I would've wanted to read when I started on my journey to understand the Bible. 

So throughout all. of. this, we have Job dropping to his knees and raising his eyes to the Heavens and thanking God for the blessings he has otherwise received, and acknowledging that if God has given, it is that same intrinsic and divine right for Him to take away. 

He. Praises. God. 

In a time like that. 

And here I am, conditionally promising my best behavior at work, mentally, to a God who moved planets and breathed stars to life, if He'll just keep that dozen or so of the most pesty associates and clients at bay for however many hours I want to focus on whatever else. 

For all it looks like, Job is an upstanding citizen, father, husband, community role model, boss and entrepreneur. He loses everything. He's stripped down to nearly dust, but at the end of the story [fast forward], is replenished and rewarded with seven more children, full herds, servants, land and everything nearly tenfold what had been lost before. He grows old, dies with a full and wise heart and is remembered and cherished by his family and friends. 

But he was a GOOD PERSON before that, though.. so why'd all this happen in the first place? 

What a PERFECT question for a time like this. With less than a full week having passed since the madness in Orlando, I'm sure now is an appropriate a time as there ever was to be asking, 

WHY DO BAD THINGS
HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?!

Christina Grimmie. Forty-nine people in a nightclub. A little boy on the bank of a pond.
And this is just ORLANDO!

Lives lost, families torn apart, communities shaken to the core. 

I want to know why BAD THINGS happen to GOOD PEOPLE. 

Her name is Krista, and while she might not remember, she said something to me in 1999 when we lost a classmate to a shooting incident in my small hometown. Krista was [& still is] my youth pastor's wife, and when that happened, stepped in to help council those of us in our youth group who'd been affected. I asked her the same question then, through 15-year-old eyes that didn't understand half of what they do now about the world or life in general: Krista, WHY do bad things happen to good people?!

And she answered, "I don't know." 

Now, before I share what she said in addition to that, let me say this: that was 17 years ago and I still remember it as clearly as if I'd just heard it: "I don't know." What had I been expecting to hear, that I was so surprised by that? Some eloquent, lofty explanation full of churchy verbiage and verses from Isaiah and Proverbs? I was 15. Who knows, maybe I wasn't aware then that there isn't an answer to that that qualifies as absolute, or perfect. No one answer will satisfy that question in every one of its countless available contexts. But in that moment, it was exactly what I needed to hear. That I was not the only who didn't have all the answers. 

As I said, there was more to it, but by priming whatever came next with the understanding that it was her personal opinion on why, based on a much more mature understanding of life and life as a Christ-follower. She played for me Refiner's Fire, and her belief that refinement is a process that does not come easy. Years later, I would connect this with another counselor's comparison to the process of exacting brilliant diamonds: by applying pressure. 

At nearly 32, I look back at those two conversations, and all those looped up in between, coupled with the life experiences I've had since then, and believe whole-heartedly in 2 things: 

1. I will never know the "right" answers to some of the questions I have, namely that one.  

and
2. I am perfectly content in not knowing. I am here now, and I'm who I am now, because of several separate and ongoing refining processes. Growth is not happening if I'm not being challenged, in some form. Some challenges apply more pressure than others, and they end up hurting.. sometimes a lot. But I'm not dead [yet, & sometimes miraculously so, but I digress]... and given that one simple, indisputable fact, I think God's been a little more than good to me. 

********************

Now, I'm not blind to what a lot of people might think about my diatribe about faith and God and the whole Christian thing, especially in the light of what's been happening in Orlando. I just said that I don't have all the answers, but I do believe something [& I'm not alone]. The one, true God that I love, honor and strive to follow, does NOT capitalize on hate. He doesn't encourage humans to kill other humans. He doesn't give any of us permission to damage the soul of another human for the benefit of proving a point. He demands that we love, unconditionally, wholly and like that of a child - blind to prejudice of any format. THAT.. is God. He forgives, but does not forget, and we are accountable to Him. "Good deeds" don't get us to Heaven; our hearts do, and I for one refuse to step up on the day I leave Earth with a heart that's harbored years of hate, judgment, self-righteousness or spite. I'm a work in progress. We all are. 

And in that way, I've prayed for and mourned from miles away here in Ohio for those in Orlando. For those in California, and for the rest of our world, where humans are hurting other humans, and creating new generations of humans who will never learn not to hurt other humans. It's dizzying.

BUT.. Why do bad things happen to good people?!

Ya'll... I don't know. BUT, I have seen from this great distance [imagine how this looks up close, how fantastic and intense it must be!] how global communities are banding together, not just residents in Orlando. Humans, around the world are seeing this and reacting in the only one true way that will ever, ever, ever stop the cycle of destroying each other: by LOVING EACH OTHER. Families supporting broken mothers, fathers, siblings whose loved ones never came home from that club. Businesses providing resources for their community. Strangers reaching out to strangers to offer words of encouragement. Athletes, musicians, celebrities, charity organizations everywhere campaigning for more love, and less hate. The internet, in all its glorious relevance these days, teeming with videos, campaigns, messages promoting open hearts and awareness. 

The small voice in the back of my mind thinks that maybe, just maybe, in spite of this enormous, unspeakably unnecessary and devastating chain of events, this surge of new activity pointing us back in the direction of loving one another for who and where we each are, and appreciating what that really means... maybe that wouldn't be happening at this magnitude, without something a such a punctuated prompt. Fifty-one(+++) reasons inspiring us to end hate and seek love. It's a risk to say that, I know; the mother whose son or daughter was gunned down, terrified and desperate in those last moments, likely won't agree. The parents who lost their little boy during what was supposed to be a joy-filled family vacation. The brother who tackled a gunman after watching his baby sister gunned down as she signed autographs. Maybe they won't agree. At least not right now, and maybe never.. and that's okay, but I do believe that ashes pave the way to new growth. I believe loss can ruin us, or it can fuel us. 

And I believe in [the power of] prayer. 

And healing.
And community, fellowship.

And forgiveness.
And action.

And I believe in the process of refinement. 

********************

I left small group feeling really weird, but in a good way. I felt really convicted [aka guilty], for starters, to get over myself and this seemingly "bad day" that I'd had. After studying Job and dissecting the hell that he had to endure in order to be refined, my week looks much more mundane. I'll take a feeling of foolishness any day if I can also find that type of perspective.

On, and this was the sky tonight: 

Hey, God. Thank you.♥

I hope ya'll have a beautiful evening. I don't know if anyone out there needed a pep talk as much as I did today, but if you did [or still do], I'm that random stranger on the internet here to tell you that you're much more than you think, and you're not giving yourself enough credit. Now, if you're feeling pretty good with where you are, go find one of those people who felt like I did all day today, and share some of that love with them. Chances are, you'll both benefit from it. 

Let's all be good people. To ourselves and to each other.
And let's maybe teach the little- and big! - ones around us, to be good, too.
Life's a little nicer when we are. ♥

xo | cmd

50 Shades of Grey: NO. Absolutely... NO.

AND I WILL HAVE NO PART [EITHER]

My disclaimer to all of this is this: I so rarely participate in tirades on social media, especially Facebook. I'm not an electronically-confrontational person, but I had to chime in today, at the prompting of a conversation I had with a co-worker, related to this ridiculous movie that's coming out this weekend.

Friends, I just can't. And I won't. And I would encourage you not to, either. I know that's not going to sway anyone out of seeing it, and for those of you who I love very much, yet have conflicting opinions, know that I don't respect you as a person any less for yours, as I would hope is the same with you for mine.

Here are several sources who've visualized the exact reasons I have for refusing to support this movie:

1. THIS:  

every. single. one. of those things.
[courtesy: national center for sexual eploitation]

 2. These FIVE Things: 

[courtesy: fightthenewdrug.org]

^ IN case you either cannot see, or have questions about those 5 things & what my vantage point says:
1. The concept that money & power gives right to do whatever you want: 
That's insane enough a thought without any further explanation. It's particularly frightening to me because I have already met people who not only embrace, but actually identify solely to the amount of money in their bank accounts and their position in society. They feel entitled based on that alone, and that.. is scary.

2. Sex should be contained to a concept of physical gratification only; no feelings or romance allowed.

Welp, that's disgusting. That sets a great stage for teaching ourselves and our younger generation how to fully love and develop a relationship. Let's go ahead and teach them how not to stay married.. or faithful.. or uphold any sort of system of sanctity for their significant other.

3. Girls [& guys, too, honestly] - If you're treated like crap, just hang in there; they'll change.
Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? ENOUGH with this, 'they're two consenting adults' crap - Just because two people agree to rob a bank together, does that mean it's RIGHT? Or HEALTHY behavior? How about we instill in our minds and our young peoples' minds that healthy relationships are developed from RESPECT first, and that the love that comes from RESPECT is something you cannot replicate or rival. AND, that respect for YOURSELF is not something to set aside.. for ANYONE. If someone wants to be with you, they should be equal TO you. Not above you, or beneath you, or threatening you. Equals WITH you.

4. The idea that guys can do [in this case sexually] anything they want to women, and that women will love it. [And outside of this book, vice versa].
You're kidding, right? Again.. with this 'consenting adults thing' - stop. Just.. stop. If you have to be psychologically sway, manipulate and coerce someone into doing something - sexual or not - you do not love them. You are swaying, manipulating and coercing them. Ladies, don't think I'm just talking to men here - I've seen men at the hands of tyrannical women, too. What kind of example are we setting?!

5. Write something that glamorizes sexual exploitation and domestic violence, and it'll sell. 
Of course it will, sadly. We are a society that feeds off of drama, suspense and all things dark and mysterious. We think we're such brooding, deeply-theoretical people whose partaking in this crap doesn't affect anyone. Well, I don't know about you, but I cannot imagine telling my daughter that she should abide by the clean side of a double standard that I've set through my own examples.

3. This Summary Statement:

I usually try to stay neutral on controversial platforms like this.. well, at least to the blogging eyes.. because I like to keep things light-hearted, thoughtful and positive. But I just.. I can't stand by and believe that the people I know who've firsthand managed to survive sexual abuse, domestic violence, psychologically and/or emotionally controlling relationships - that they fought their way back from the doorsteps of hell just to find this piece of garbage waiting to be devoured by millions of people.

I've seen the irreversible damage that domestic violence and sexual abuse creates in a person. I've seen friends struggle to believe in the value of their very own existence because of the way their minds have warped within toxic relationships. I have seen how that affects their trust. Their confidence. Their ability to love themselves. To love others. Their emotional stability. Their social skills. Their grades. Their work. Their sleep. Their eating habits. Everything.

It is NOT a glamorous. It is not an achievement to succumb to this type of relationship.

I am... terrified to think what our next generations will take away from this. I commit myself to work arduously with my own daughter to instill in her that this type of relationship is purely unhealthy, undeserved and should not be tolerated. I am fearful for the children of my peers now, who will be peers to her then... that their parents or peers will have accepted this set of standards [or lack thereof, really], and that my daughter [or my future son, who knows] will fall prey somehow to this... garbage.

I can only do my part, and ask that each of you consider how this affects all of us. Call me antiquated; call me a prude - that's fine. I just can't... conform to something like this.

With love & respect to each of you ♥

xo | cmd

DWTS : Duck Dynasty Edition! | ESPN @ Hahana

fafa
[Sadly often-needed-these-days disclaimer: NO, this is not my material: the music, choreography, costumes, lighting, feathers and duck calls did not come from my own imaginative creation. NO, I'm not attempting to credit myself for any of this, so please don't bother crying wolf on attempted plagiarism. Just so we're clear.]

I've said it before and I'll say it again - way to go, Sadie Robertson! I don't follow DWTS, nor do I really watch that much Duck Dynasty anymore, but I love seeing such positive influences in the headlines.

And hey, let's be honest - this was a fun number. Especially with Mark Ballas looking like another secret, miniature Robertson brother! Insert flashback to meeting Mark here in Cincinnati? Sure, why not :D

kalyn. cori. mark! 2011
montgomery inn | cincinnati,oh

Aaaanyway, congrats from across the states to Miss Sadie and her family on her run so far on the show - it's crazy awesome to see what she stands for represented on a stage like that.

After work, I made my way home to unwind for the short breath between the day and night, and then layered on the gear for some chilly sand before hopping back in the car for volleyball.

hahaha, thanks rob ;) 

It was indeed brisk to say the least out there tonight. The sand is starting to take on a winter feel, leaving that familiar icy, itchy feeling once you leave it. That didn't stop us from having a blast, and posting another win to the board.

♥ 'em.
cori. chad. jessica. becky.
hahana beach | cincinnati, oh

Also, here's the before shot that in truth, captures a much more accurate candid:

hahah. yeah. 

On our way out, we noticed this little home, a beautiful little tribute to October and Halloween: 

beautiful! 

We apologetically devoured some Village Tavern before calling it a night and parting ways. It's up and early for 6am yoga tomorrow, so that's a wrap for now!

xo | cmd

Without CAUSE, We Wouldn't Have EFFECT

hello, again, snowy cincinnati
... happy tuesday!

It's winter again in Cinci. To go along with the unexpected surprise of new snowfall, here's a gritty little rant I didn't expect to have today, either. In advance, if you're offended, well... I'm not sorry.

I admittedly lost some sleep last night, as I layed there mulling over some of the inevitable muddle of things happening, things to do, people, more to-do's, life, liberty and the pursuit of whatever it is in this short lifetime that we're all seeking.

I parted ways with my bed this morning with more thoughts than peace in my head [not really a desired balance] and was determined to get it all out, somehow.

It started as a brief thought [birthed and developed during my 9-mile, 48-minute morning snow commute ;)], which I shared as a note of encouragement online. This was the original blurb:

Without our failures, we wouldn't know success.
Without limitations, we wouldn't recognize authenticity.
Without hypocrites, we wouldn't appreciate candor.
Without boastfulness, we wouldn't understand true humility.
Without the valleys, we wouldn't achieve personal growth.
Without conditional behavior, we wouldn't respect consistency.
And without INTEGRITY, we WON'T trust anyone.. even ourselves.

From there, the principle of the whole thing took root in my mind and augmented itself as the day wore on. By the time I found myself back at home, I had a more than ample additions to the initial thought [and no, there is no official literary structure to this one; my apologies in advance to my fellow bookies]:

Without abrasion, we wouldn't become polished.
Without destruction, we wouldn't develop tenacity for fresh starts.
Without dissention, we wouldn't hold individual values.
Without division, we wouldn't promote unity.
Without hate, we wouldn't know to pursue love.
Without experience, we wouldn't exercise discernment.
Without faith, we wouldn't have hope.
Without INTEGRITY, we ARE NOT worth our own word.

I could literally go on... for days, on this topic. I've been struggling the most in the recent weeks with a few select situations in my life, things... and people that I wish would just become transparent, for the sake of not themselves but for the things and people around them that are very directly affected by this. In a world where a professed-Christian business owner puts an icthus on his business card between his name and the company's, but has to lie when unknown numbers call him to hide from his previous company's contact...... the deception expands both internally and externally. The image of Christians as a whole is thwarted by the darkness of selective deception, while on the outside, the over-exertion of effort to create a picture of flawless, humble behavior and lifestyle attracts the accolades of the crowds. It makes me sick, because 1] I've been in those shoes, wanting so desperately to believe I was being a good person, but having to do so by setting conditions to which rules I would follow, and 2] because these actions proactively DESTROY the exact thing we're trying to create if we do them.

Without the full story, we will not see the truth.
Without sheep, a wolf has no wool coat.
Without INTEGRITY, we WILL NOT experience freedom.

Am I being passive aggressive today? Yes.
Do I care? No.

I'm reading over the things I've just written and yes, I know it has a rather choppy flow, certainly not the most connected thing I've ever transferred from my mind to writing................ but here's the thing:

This is real. This is a REAL problem. I don't know if it's because of what I heard yesterday at church [regarding the fine line of destructive pride and genuine humility, thank you, Adam..], or because it's the Christmas season and naturally this is the time when we as a whole water down the meaning of it all in our pursuit of things.... but I have this to say to us, as Christians, non-Christians, HUMANS, during Christmas or ANY other time of the year...... [and I am NOT exempt from this advice..]

ouch...

I hope I am not alone in believing that regardless of who we are or what we do, that it is NOT okay to label ourselves into a category that is defined by the exact principles we are only selectively choosing to follow. That being said, I realize it's a double-edged sword in LIFE, because without the unfavorable alternative(s), we really... honestly... would not know the contrast on which would should focus.

Call this a tired tirade if you want, but my heart is heavy today with the weight of certain people - small people - who are being directly influenced and affected by the examples set forth by these kinds of decisions. Again, I am not exempt from making bad calls. I have, however, learned the freedom of honesty and most of all transparency; I no longer feel the need to please everyone around me, let alone inventory separate personalities for separate people. I'm becoming an open book, for better or for worse, but I know this: I'll own my regrets and NOT repeat them.

Without provocation, we have no motivation.
Without problems, we won't become catalysts.
Without INTEGRITY, well... we ARE the problem.

I am so wholly thankful for the people in my life, especially those that I've hurt... because they were courageous and loving enough to bring it to my attention. Was it painful to hear? Duh... but they were right to do so and I am grateful for it.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
- Prov 27:17

//rant. If this convicted you, the way it did me today, then commit it to your memory. If it compelled you, share it. If it offended you, then you should probably re-read it. And if you find that I am in a position to be reminded of the need for my own transparency, please tell me. I promise I will do the same.

Have a wonderful week, blogbots.
xo | cmd