I Have Decided...

Confession: It's been a couple of weeks since I've been to a Sunday service at our home church. Between traveling, holidays and being so sick that I declined movement beyond the path from my couch to the bathroom for nearly two entire days.

My parents were in town for the weekend and nobody was sick. We were finally all assembled in town for a weekend, so it seemed a perfect a time as any to find our seats and be fed with a morning of worship and lesson.

Have you ever been in a service that speaks so clearly to you that you're almost certain it was written specifically for you? Well, this was one of mine.


No, it wasn't emotionally riveting. It was practical. It's an understatement to call it practical, really. It's applicable, realistic, achievable and above all, an integral part of how we as Christians are expected to live. Rob and I have a lot of financial changes coming this year, and we need as much wise guidance as possible. 
I went back and studied the notes again today, from yesterday's service. There's some excellent stuff here, packed into just an hour message with our senior pastor, Jeff. 
I said I didn't have any real New Years Resolutions for 2016. After yesterday, I'm not certain that's entirely true. I said that if we made it through the major events of this year with our sanity and a couple bucks left in our pocket, that'd be good... BUT, after yesterday, I'm challenging myself to not only saving, but better allocation of what we have. We're fortunate enough now that we don't live strictly paycheck-to-paycheck, but we certainly don't do nearly as well as we should with discipline in our giving, saving and spending. 
So there it is folks: last Monday of January and I just changed my mind that I do in fact have one new years' resolution, and that will be the one that helps propel my entire family in the right direction. 
For the time being: Pray, plan and perfect it. Stay tuned; I'm pretty sure our next step in this plan will involve Dave Ramsey :). 
For now, take a listen [& a watch] to that message, and see if you don't get something out of that, too! 
G'Nite blogbots.. 
xo | cmd

"I Will NOT Pee My Pants"

This one goes out to all the mothers of small children out there. It's actually more of a plea for confirmation of our efforts, along with perhaps an affirmation that we're not the only ones who are dealing or who have dealt with this.

Basically, my 5-year-old is in a phase now where potty "accidents" are back to being a regular occurrence. Simply put, it's frustrating, discouraging and on nights like this, when we've been through the ringer for [now] 4 consecutive nights on the same subject: NO MORE ACCIDENTS.

Here's the thing: Sydni's not not potty trained. She doesn't get confused or intimidated by the big bad toilet. Sydni is insanely intelligent and knows right from wrong. She understands the concepts of disappointment, guilt, deception [lying] and covering up something. She also understands the practice of consequences and will respond honestly when asked if she feels her consequences are fair or not [and most of the time, she feels they are warranted]. HOWEVER, even given aaaaall of those impressive traits that she does have, it's ironically one of those traits that cripples her when it comes to this whole... not peeing pants thing.

See, Sydni takes after both her dad and me in distinct ways, though it's usually clear which one she resembles. One thing she inherited by no fault of her own from both of us though, is a sense of intensity. While his and my natures of intensity are truly very, very different, they seem to have combined into one big, solid and nearly impenetrable wall of stubbornness when it comes to certain options with Sydni.

What do I mean by that? Well, here's what's been happening lately: Sydni's in the 4th or 5th week now of potty accidents, both at school and after school before either her dad or I pick her up. We've already been through the phase of frequent accidents when her dad's second child was born. That string of accidents eventually dwindled down to nothing, and now... almost 6 months later, we're in another round daily pants swapping.

*Sigh. Oh, Syd.

Sydni's issue is this: She will get so engaged with whatever it is she's doing, especially if it's a craft or art project [that's from me], or a sport or otherwise potentially-competitive anything [ugh, from both her parents], that unless she has someone to remind her to take a potty break, she won't do it. She knows what she's doing, but like I said, she's so intense that more often than not, she'd rather finish the task at hand than let anything step in between her and completion.

Get what I'm saying here? Does ANYONE out there have a similar issue with their 5/6 year olds?
If you have, then WHAT is your advice for me, for her dad and for all other parents who are dealing with this?

What we've done so far:

1. Implement an incentive program, in which she earned a dollar for each day she didn't have an accident. That worked out well while it lasted; I'd purposed that to be a one-time thing to boost some confidence and get her back into the habit of trying her best to take breaks, etc.
2. Take things away: This included toys, technology, even being able to sleep with 'her' dog Stella at night. It seems to have made a little traction this week, but clearly weren't breaking through entirely.

So tonight, I tried out one of the oldest book tricks I could muster: The age old art of writing sentences. Lots. of. sentences.

oh... syd... :|

Mama's out there, I'm really hoping you'll pray for me on this one.. for me, and for her dad when she's there. If nothing else, I hope perhaps this will encourage another parent or set of parents out there who are battling the same or similar issue with their minis. I'm hoping this is just another phase of adjustment, and that we'll be able to crack through her bright but stubborn little drive so that she'll realize taking a breather isn't just an essential part of potty usage, but in life, too.

Parenting, guys. It's a learning process and we're all in it together.

Stay tuned :).

xo | cmd

50 Shades of Grey: NO. Absolutely... NO.

AND I WILL HAVE NO PART [EITHER]

My disclaimer to all of this is this: I so rarely participate in tirades on social media, especially Facebook. I'm not an electronically-confrontational person, but I had to chime in today, at the prompting of a conversation I had with a co-worker, related to this ridiculous movie that's coming out this weekend.

Friends, I just can't. And I won't. And I would encourage you not to, either. I know that's not going to sway anyone out of seeing it, and for those of you who I love very much, yet have conflicting opinions, know that I don't respect you as a person any less for yours, as I would hope is the same with you for mine.

Here are several sources who've visualized the exact reasons I have for refusing to support this movie:

1. THIS:  

every. single. one. of those things.
[courtesy: national center for sexual eploitation]

 2. These FIVE Things: 

[courtesy: fightthenewdrug.org]

^ IN case you either cannot see, or have questions about those 5 things & what my vantage point says:
1. The concept that money & power gives right to do whatever you want: 
That's insane enough a thought without any further explanation. It's particularly frightening to me because I have already met people who not only embrace, but actually identify solely to the amount of money in their bank accounts and their position in society. They feel entitled based on that alone, and that.. is scary.

2. Sex should be contained to a concept of physical gratification only; no feelings or romance allowed.

Welp, that's disgusting. That sets a great stage for teaching ourselves and our younger generation how to fully love and develop a relationship. Let's go ahead and teach them how not to stay married.. or faithful.. or uphold any sort of system of sanctity for their significant other.

3. Girls [& guys, too, honestly] - If you're treated like crap, just hang in there; they'll change.
Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? ENOUGH with this, 'they're two consenting adults' crap - Just because two people agree to rob a bank together, does that mean it's RIGHT? Or HEALTHY behavior? How about we instill in our minds and our young peoples' minds that healthy relationships are developed from RESPECT first, and that the love that comes from RESPECT is something you cannot replicate or rival. AND, that respect for YOURSELF is not something to set aside.. for ANYONE. If someone wants to be with you, they should be equal TO you. Not above you, or beneath you, or threatening you. Equals WITH you.

4. The idea that guys can do [in this case sexually] anything they want to women, and that women will love it. [And outside of this book, vice versa].
You're kidding, right? Again.. with this 'consenting adults thing' - stop. Just.. stop. If you have to be psychologically sway, manipulate and coerce someone into doing something - sexual or not - you do not love them. You are swaying, manipulating and coercing them. Ladies, don't think I'm just talking to men here - I've seen men at the hands of tyrannical women, too. What kind of example are we setting?!

5. Write something that glamorizes sexual exploitation and domestic violence, and it'll sell. 
Of course it will, sadly. We are a society that feeds off of drama, suspense and all things dark and mysterious. We think we're such brooding, deeply-theoretical people whose partaking in this crap doesn't affect anyone. Well, I don't know about you, but I cannot imagine telling my daughter that she should abide by the clean side of a double standard that I've set through my own examples.

3. This Summary Statement:

I usually try to stay neutral on controversial platforms like this.. well, at least to the blogging eyes.. because I like to keep things light-hearted, thoughtful and positive. But I just.. I can't stand by and believe that the people I know who've firsthand managed to survive sexual abuse, domestic violence, psychologically and/or emotionally controlling relationships - that they fought their way back from the doorsteps of hell just to find this piece of garbage waiting to be devoured by millions of people.

I've seen the irreversible damage that domestic violence and sexual abuse creates in a person. I've seen friends struggle to believe in the value of their very own existence because of the way their minds have warped within toxic relationships. I have seen how that affects their trust. Their confidence. Their ability to love themselves. To love others. Their emotional stability. Their social skills. Their grades. Their work. Their sleep. Their eating habits. Everything.

It is NOT a glamorous. It is not an achievement to succumb to this type of relationship.

I am... terrified to think what our next generations will take away from this. I commit myself to work arduously with my own daughter to instill in her that this type of relationship is purely unhealthy, undeserved and should not be tolerated. I am fearful for the children of my peers now, who will be peers to her then... that their parents or peers will have accepted this set of standards [or lack thereof, really], and that my daughter [or my future son, who knows] will fall prey somehow to this... garbage.

I can only do my part, and ask that each of you consider how this affects all of us. Call me antiquated; call me a prude - that's fine. I just can't... conform to something like this.

With love & respect to each of you ♥

xo | cmd