50 Shades of Grey: NO. Absolutely... NO.

AND I WILL HAVE NO PART [EITHER]

My disclaimer to all of this is this: I so rarely participate in tirades on social media, especially Facebook. I'm not an electronically-confrontational person, but I had to chime in today, at the prompting of a conversation I had with a co-worker, related to this ridiculous movie that's coming out this weekend.

Friends, I just can't. And I won't. And I would encourage you not to, either. I know that's not going to sway anyone out of seeing it, and for those of you who I love very much, yet have conflicting opinions, know that I don't respect you as a person any less for yours, as I would hope is the same with you for mine.

Here are several sources who've visualized the exact reasons I have for refusing to support this movie:

1. THIS:  

every. single. one. of those things.
[courtesy: national center for sexual eploitation]

 2. These FIVE Things: 

[courtesy: fightthenewdrug.org]

^ IN case you either cannot see, or have questions about those 5 things & what my vantage point says:
1. The concept that money & power gives right to do whatever you want: 
That's insane enough a thought without any further explanation. It's particularly frightening to me because I have already met people who not only embrace, but actually identify solely to the amount of money in their bank accounts and their position in society. They feel entitled based on that alone, and that.. is scary.

2. Sex should be contained to a concept of physical gratification only; no feelings or romance allowed.

Welp, that's disgusting. That sets a great stage for teaching ourselves and our younger generation how to fully love and develop a relationship. Let's go ahead and teach them how not to stay married.. or faithful.. or uphold any sort of system of sanctity for their significant other.

3. Girls [& guys, too, honestly] - If you're treated like crap, just hang in there; they'll change.
Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? ENOUGH with this, 'they're two consenting adults' crap - Just because two people agree to rob a bank together, does that mean it's RIGHT? Or HEALTHY behavior? How about we instill in our minds and our young peoples' minds that healthy relationships are developed from RESPECT first, and that the love that comes from RESPECT is something you cannot replicate or rival. AND, that respect for YOURSELF is not something to set aside.. for ANYONE. If someone wants to be with you, they should be equal TO you. Not above you, or beneath you, or threatening you. Equals WITH you.

4. The idea that guys can do [in this case sexually] anything they want to women, and that women will love it. [And outside of this book, vice versa].
You're kidding, right? Again.. with this 'consenting adults thing' - stop. Just.. stop. If you have to be psychologically sway, manipulate and coerce someone into doing something - sexual or not - you do not love them. You are swaying, manipulating and coercing them. Ladies, don't think I'm just talking to men here - I've seen men at the hands of tyrannical women, too. What kind of example are we setting?!

5. Write something that glamorizes sexual exploitation and domestic violence, and it'll sell. 
Of course it will, sadly. We are a society that feeds off of drama, suspense and all things dark and mysterious. We think we're such brooding, deeply-theoretical people whose partaking in this crap doesn't affect anyone. Well, I don't know about you, but I cannot imagine telling my daughter that she should abide by the clean side of a double standard that I've set through my own examples.

3. This Summary Statement:

I usually try to stay neutral on controversial platforms like this.. well, at least to the blogging eyes.. because I like to keep things light-hearted, thoughtful and positive. But I just.. I can't stand by and believe that the people I know who've firsthand managed to survive sexual abuse, domestic violence, psychologically and/or emotionally controlling relationships - that they fought their way back from the doorsteps of hell just to find this piece of garbage waiting to be devoured by millions of people.

I've seen the irreversible damage that domestic violence and sexual abuse creates in a person. I've seen friends struggle to believe in the value of their very own existence because of the way their minds have warped within toxic relationships. I have seen how that affects their trust. Their confidence. Their ability to love themselves. To love others. Their emotional stability. Their social skills. Their grades. Their work. Their sleep. Their eating habits. Everything.

It is NOT a glamorous. It is not an achievement to succumb to this type of relationship.

I am... terrified to think what our next generations will take away from this. I commit myself to work arduously with my own daughter to instill in her that this type of relationship is purely unhealthy, undeserved and should not be tolerated. I am fearful for the children of my peers now, who will be peers to her then... that their parents or peers will have accepted this set of standards [or lack thereof, really], and that my daughter [or my future son, who knows] will fall prey somehow to this... garbage.

I can only do my part, and ask that each of you consider how this affects all of us. Call me antiquated; call me a prude - that's fine. I just can't... conform to something like this.

With love & respect to each of you ♥

xo | cmd