Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label struggles. Show all posts

Monday, March 10, 2014

Wham BAM, Thank Ya, Marianne!

I was not thrilled that three of my four guests had to leave this morning. None of us really had looked forward to this part, but we made the best of it and naturally grabbed a couple of last minute pictures before they were gone.
just one more group picture (:
^ We look like a World Vision commercial. (:

coffee emporium ♥
In the bustle of everyone packing up, showering and making sure nothing was left behind, the time for church came and went. I hate missing a service, but I committed to making up that lost time with the podcast later on.

Rob decided to get caught up on some of his things while Marianne and I went off in search of some adventure to occupy us for the day. It really didn't take long.
We found ourselves at the Coffee Emporium, which kind of happened by default when I mentioned the mushroom house in Hyde Park. Once we were caffeinated, we hopped back in the car and decided the day was promising enough to include new tattoos. That's right, new ink.

[Holy crap.]
cheetah carpet.. and a blank canvas.
I have had one tattoo before today. It's a rendition of the sun from the flag of the Philippines, altered to reflect the connectivity of my identity as a Filipino-American adoptee. It took me five minutes to draw, and two years to save up the courage to actually do it. That needle came and went when I was 19. Ten years later, it took us 30 seconds to commit to the doing part, and about a half hour deciding on the what-to-get part. Go... figure.

So THIS [thank you, Pinterest] will stand to represent the following statement:
My life has been beautiful, and it has been ugly. The human side of me has created messes bigger than I could have ever deciphered on my own, while the God in whom I believe and give ALL the honor & praise, has righted my sinking ship more times than I ever would have believed possible. It's been a cycle of beauty, mediocrity, heartbreak and learning, and I don't intend that to stop anytime soon. A compass is an unchanging guide to remind me which way I'm facing when I'm completely lost, and fluid continuity of outer arrows remind me that in every stage, in every season, what has been and what will be are what make me... me.

The first tattoo I had was clearly a symbol applicable at the time only to me. I was always more of a piercings gal than a tattoo gal, which worked hugely to my benefit in the years that followed my spree of facial, ear, nape & naval rings and studs. Most of those are marked now only by the little dots or indents left behind. I think I may have gotten my nose pierced alongside a friend in high school, and I'm almost certain she's since removed hers. The obvious point here is that I've never had a matching tattoo with anyone. Not that any one person's struggles are of any less or more credit than another's, but I whole-heartedly believe that Marianne has earned the stripes of this tattoo, absolutely moreso than I have. That being said, the amount of regret I have for doing this on a whim today is next to non-existent.

So after the consequence of making Marianne wait for something... haha...

... this happened ..
that's kyle. and those are both my chins, thanks&you'rewelcome.
.. and eventually looked like this:
done. ♥♥
So uhm, yeah.. went for it, did it, and I'm not looking back. In fact, I'm looking up, down, and both ways before crossing the street.

Fun fact: Once you've started the day with an unplanned tattoo, the rest of said day's agenda really doesn't matter. Haha. So, in the spirit of continued spontaneity, we took a trip down to Park+Vine, where we made our tattoo announcement via their typewriter:
remington says......
[in case you missed it]:
... except skip was nowhere to be found :/ womp womp...
Yeeeup.
Between Park+Vine, Findlay Market, Eden Park & RRT in Milford, we collected some great memoirs for the day:
hanging gardens at park+vine
neighbors of findlay market
my getaway at eden park
me, climbing off the skyline...
.. & marianne, climbing back over it
Onward to Milford, RRT:

guatemala & new york.
Totally need:
honest-to-goodness want.
We hadn't quite exhausted our cameras, but the day was winding down and that indecisive space between lunch and dinner had approached, so we opted for food at Main Street. Kalyn wasn't working, but Chad was, so once Rob rendevouzed with us [via bike, because it was gorgeous today], we hung out for a bit and then headed home.

Now we're here, a trio of sweatpants-clad bums huddled with laptops and a movie playing on the TV. Mare leaves tomorrow to go back to VA, and the work week will commence as it has this reliable habit of doing.
that's a wrap, folks.
On that note... good night, loves (:

xo | cmd

Friday, November 8, 2013

[BIG] HURDLE.

Today was not a good day.
To start things off, Mother Nature skipped snooze this morning and woke up right on time to send me a weeklong reminder that my non-pregnant body is functioning just fine, thank-you-very-much. So hello, hormones.
And hello to the alarming phone call I received just minutes after the work day started.
I will share no intimate details here, but will suffice to say that it was a very serious matter that needed to be addressed immediately.

To say that my head has been spinning like a top for nearly 14 hours straight now is an understatement. When the welfare of my child is brought into question and another party who ought to be more concerned with it than with proving a point, is pushing for the latter rather than the first, it becomes an intricate trap that we all fall into. Tempers raged all day today, and decisions that may have sparked an irrevocable course of events were only held off by the sense of the advising of pastoral staff.
every. single. day.
Today was not a good day.

It is over now, with what we all believe is a sigh of huge relief. Call it a false alarm, if that feels appropriate. In a way, it is. It doesn't change the new imprint of similarly-exhibited behavior that I now have on my mind, and in my heart. I saw an evil tonight, masked by a claim to good intentions, that I know I will not be able to forgive without the grace of the God I serve and spoke to many, many times today.
©casting crowns
I am grateful tonight for the grace and mercy of the Lord I love; through this today I have still praised Him, and I won't ever stop doing that. This isn't the first time in my life that I've been driven to my knees asking for His help, wisdom, peace, tenacity or whatever else it is that i need. It won't be the last, either, but the beautiful thing about that is that I will always have double the opportunity to praise Him for what He's already given me when I am standing on solid ground again.

And tonight, that's what I'm doing.
Rob is not here tonight; he'll be back tomorrow, as part of an agreement in sorting everything out this evening. We all reached a point of peace tonight, and for that alone, with my four-year-old's story as the only foundation for clarity, I am beyond grateful.

The tears on my face have dried and while my voice feels shot, I have my little girl curled around my arm right now and that is how we're going to stay until the sun comes up again tomorrow.

One breath at a time, we will press forward.
I never would've gotten through today without the faith I have.. without the intervention of a couple of select people, without my mother's advising and without the strength in me that I take no credit for having, but attribute rather to my mother's raising & the values I was taught.
©newsboys
Tomorrow is a new day.
Tomorrow will be the day of clean-up from today.
Tomorrow is a chance to either validate or discard my personal character & beliefs with how I handle the situation and the people.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed, but I'm planning on it either way.

xo | cmd