[BIG] HURDLE.

Today was not a good day.
To start things off, Mother Nature skipped snooze this morning and woke up right on time to send me a weeklong reminder that my non-pregnant body is functioning just fine, thank-you-very-much. So hello, hormones.
And hello to the alarming phone call I received just minutes after the work day started.
I will share no intimate details here, but will suffice to say that it was a very serious matter that needed to be addressed immediately.

To say that my head has been spinning like a top for nearly 14 hours straight now is an understatement. When the welfare of my child is brought into question and another party who ought to be more concerned with it than with proving a point, is pushing for the latter rather than the first, it becomes an intricate trap that we all fall into. Tempers raged all day today, and decisions that may have sparked an irrevocable course of events were only held off by the sense of the advising of pastoral staff.

every. single. day.

Today was not a good day.

It is over now, with what we all believe is a sigh of huge relief. Call it a false alarm, if that feels appropriate. In a way, it is. It doesn't change the new imprint of similarly-exhibited behavior that I now have on my mind, and in my heart. I saw an evil tonight, masked by a claim to good intentions, that I know I will not be able to forgive without the grace of the God I serve and spoke to many, many times today.

©casting crowns

I am grateful tonight for the grace and mercy of the Lord I love; through this today I have still praised Him, and I won't ever stop doing that. This isn't the first time in my life that I've been driven to my knees asking for His help, wisdom, peace, tenacity or whatever else it is that i need. It won't be the last, either, but the beautiful thing about that is that I will always have double the opportunity to praise Him for what He's already given me when I am standing on solid ground again.

And tonight, that's what I'm doing.
Rob is not here tonight; he'll be back tomorrow, as part of an agreement in sorting everything out this evening. We all reached a point of peace tonight, and for that alone, with my four-year-old's story as the only foundation for clarity, I am beyond grateful.

The tears on my face have dried and while my voice feels shot, I have my little girl curled around my arm right now and that is how we're going to stay until the sun comes up again tomorrow.

One breath at a time, we will press forward.
I never would've gotten through today without the faith I have.. without the intervention of a couple of select people, without my mother's advising and without the strength in me that I take no credit for having, but attribute rather to my mother's raising & the values I was taught.

©newsboys

Tomorrow is a new day.
Tomorrow will be the day of clean-up from today.
Tomorrow is a chance to either validate or discard my personal character & beliefs with how I handle the situation and the people.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed, but I'm planning on it either way.

xo | cmd