Dave.

This one's a little harder.

It's Friday; that's reason to celebrate when we're talking about the work week. It started off like most Fridays do, with that weekly added perk to each of us, knowing that there were just hours left until another weekend. And so it went, for the first couple hours, until one of my clients called to ask me if I was 'doing all right...'

Doing all right? Well, yeah, of course I am - it's Friday! 
... But I didn't know. I didn't know that he'd be calling me under the assumption that I did know about the passing of my former franchisee, boss & friend, Dave. Apparently this happened on Tuesday, after an accident that had left him in a coma for some odd days prior to Tuesday.

I had no idea. I had no words, and left my poor client hanging on a promise to call him back after I collected myself. I called Chris first, then Elisa, and gathered myself enough to finish the rest of the day until the visitation this afternoon.

It's surreal to think that he has passed. There were so, so many things I revered and respected about Dave, as a person, as a businessman and entrepreneur. It hurts to try and grasp the pain and loss that Lizzy, Nancy & the rest of the family is experiencing now, and it hurts to know that he is gone.

dave :) 

a "typical" laughing day with dave!

My heart breaks for their family & friends, and for everyone who has now lost him as part of our community. I'm forever indebted to Dave for providing me the avenue to move back to Cincinnati when I did almost 4 years ago, and for the opportunity to be a part of establishing our office from the ground up. I learned many things from Dave, both professionally and practically, and I will always give him credit where it's due for that short, short window of time that we had him as part of our little Express family. 

express office 2712 | sales summit 2014
cori. elisa. dave | nashville, tn

Dave, you are so very missed. I'm thankful for having been brought into your path and learning from what we did. We'll all see you again one day. Until then, keep an eye on us and know that you are missed. 

I have hopes that the weekend will improve from here, but I'm left feeling a little empty after learning of this, and seeing Lizzy & Nancy for the first time in months today. My prayers for the family, and for a soul lost all too soon. 

Peace, light & comfort.. 

xo | cmd

All Things Monday

What. A. DAY.

This has been a pure blend of surprise, celebration and mourning. It's all here, on one day.

First things first, today is my cousin Maricor's 30th birthday!

happy birthday!!!!

It's a rare blessing I think, to have someone so closely aligned with you, who isn't technically a biological relative [I'm adopted, remember?]. With splitting hairs aside, this woman is still my best friend, an inspiring soul, a wonderful mother to her beautiful girls and much, much more. Our daughters are 1 week apart, and although we don't see each other nearly as often as we'd like, we never miss a beat. Happy birthday, Maricor!! LOVE YOU!!

On the tails of morning birthday salutes, I found this in the mail:

yay, continued staffing education!

^ Yep. Another year's worth of being certified as an EUCP. Thanks, Express (:  

 

And then THIS: 

finally!! yiiieeee

^ About a week or so back, I gave in and finally ordered some waxed polyester cord; it's the same material [I think] used to make the famous Pura Vida bracelets. I have several of their bracelets, but decided that it's high time I start making some of my own, inspired by their design, but customized exactly how I want them. I started today, and have to say they didn't turn out bad. Marianne is the lucky guinea pig who gets the first set:

fun!

Oh... the possibilities.

Now for the sad - and I mean truly sad part of today:
By now it's been on every headline out there, but today the world lost Robin Williams.

I realized today that we don't always recognize the fact that personalities who as adults themselves defined large parts of our childhood, continue to age just as we do. I won't say I was a prolific follower of all things Robin Williams, but he was absolutely an iconic figure in my mind.

I mean c'mon.. he was the GENIE!
He was Adrian Cronauer!
He was Patch Adams!
He made Flubber!
He was Rainbow Rudolph!
HE WAS MRS. DOUBTFIRE!!

That list is obviously so long that it warrants more accolade than I could give on my own. Outside of his acting career, Robin was a philanthropist with a huge heart; Shriner's and the USO found much of his dedicated time, and the man contributed to the advancement of humanity in ways we didn't always recognize.

And he left this world today, after battling severe depression, ultimately leading to his suicide.

"genie, you're free."
 - the academy of motion picture arts & sciences

And okokokokokay.... to clarify, NO, I'm not propogating the idea that suicide equates freedom.

NO NO NO NO NO. The more I examined that statement, given by The Academy, the more I could justify why many people were offended by it - yes, in its immediate simplicity, it does leave room to suggest that by committing suicide, RW was "liberated."

NO NO NO NO NO. What I'm hopefully assuming the Academy meant to convey was the same sense of remorse so many other people feel at his passing: the long and excruciating struggle is over. It did NOT end the way it should have, at all, but it is over.

I have seen what happens to families ripped apart by suicide. I do NOT believe that the act of taking your own life delivers freedom to ANYONE. My heart hurts to think that, regardless of his celebrity status, RW has family and friends who are intimately destroyed by losing him.

Here's a solemn call-to-action for all of you out there.. from me to you: If you, or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts.......... talk. TALK to someone. It's only too late if you choose to ignore it. I joined the AFSP in 2009 after losing my friend Jena to suicide and watched her family and the rest of us blindly picking up the pieces.

Rest in peace, Robin. The world lost a remarkable soul today.

xo | cmd

Naked Silver Linings[On My] Bad Day

Ummm.. what?

Today wasn't a great day. I suppose that's all relative, though, right?

RIGHT.

I didn't feel like telling myself that today, even by the time the day had boiled down to just over an hour left at the office. It was just one of those days, ya know? It wasn't a catastrophe, no, but it wasn't a smooth little sail, either.

I learned a little practice from a great friend of mine some odd years ago in college. It's not always easy to do, but I've honed in on my own technique over the years and in most scenarios, can execute perfectly.

It's simple: In the midst of a trying situation, disappointment, frustration or otherwise unpleasant moment, I force my mind to remove itself from the present for even just one or two minutes, and focus, wholly, on two things:

1. I am not God, but I am His, and He will never give me
more than I can handle with Him.

 

.. and

 

2. There is someone out there facing something far worse, far more intense and
faaaar more urgent than what I am facing now.

 

When I first started trying this out, it seemed stupid to do at times, because obviously the world isn't ending because I'm having a bad day, but that doesn't change the fact that I am in fact having an awful day. It just takes time, discipline and an open mind to realize that it's true.

 

Take a deep breath, Cori.

There's an icon from the world of yoga who I follow on Instagram. Her name is Rachel; she's a world-traveller who leads workshops, uplifts everyone she finds and somehow manages to find the beauty in the core of darkness.

 

Until recently. I, along with the multitude of her followers, read a post of hers a week or so back that detailed disaster in her world: Her apendix ruptured in an airport, sending her into a 7-hour surgery at a hospital in another country. She awoke to surgical scars marking the new absence of her appendix and people telling her that in addition to this, her best friend had passed away in a car accident.

 

Are you having a bad day?

Read:

 

 

The reason I called this entry Naked is because I have read and re-read her entries, absorbing the pain she is facing. I have lost friends unexpectedly, but to have your life's passion [yoga] taken from you momentarily as well as you struggle to cope with a loss of that magnitude must be paralyzing. Whether I would admit it or not, I think I do find some level of comfort in seeing someone be so candid and raw in expressing the honesty and emotion that must happen before healing can begin. All of Rachel's posts up to this point are packed with a type of realistic inspiration and encouragement; I'm praying now that she will find her own in the comfort of her friends, her family and the warm memories of her best friend.

 

And so I look at my day, and I look at hers.
I see mine, filled to the brim with inconveniences, backtracking, miscommunication and a dreary weather pattern to boot.

And then I see hers, balancing endurance with reverence on the edge of a void freshly-created by the unexpected death of her best friend, and the three scars reminding her that yoga will still have to wait.

 

My day tomorrow may or may not be an improvement of today, but it is not like that.

So I'll stop whining about my first-world problems and start approaching them with the grace and patience I'm supposed to.

 

I thought about this all the way home, and by the time I walked through the door I was itching to channel it into something productive. Since the sky had been the same dull, placid color for the entire day, I opted to add some color, with a dash of salt & pepper.

homemade soup!

Some may have read this and now wonder if I'm as far detached from reality as it kind of sounds, but I promise you I'm not. I fully understand the gravity of bad situations and the like, but I'm actively choosing to weigh the pros before the cons. We are after all partially defined by the ways in which we react to circumstance.

 

So...

.... how's that for a heavy entry on a Wednesday? Hah (:

 

Life. Is. Good.
We. Are. Blessed.

 

xo | cmd

Farewell, Legend : Nelson Mandela

In the midst of the string of recent celebrity deaths, I recognize that we are each affected differently by each one. The world bands together to show their affection for late individuals based on the characters they played on television, the music they wrote, or impacts they had in any other capacity to shaping whatever fraction of the world around them they did.

Today, a legendary man passed away. He wasn't a movie star or famous musician, but rather a globally-recognized leader, president, social mediator and human rights icon.

nelson mandela | 1918 - 2013

After reading many of the tributes already released in honor of Nelson Mandela, I decided to share those instead of forge my own; I'll be the first to admit that I have not actively followed Mandela's activity over the past few years, therefore I feel it would be something of a dishonest act for me to expand on the life of such an extroardinary man when I may not have the appropriate words.

Below are some of the tributes written by individuals and organizations - very educating, and moving!
Kerry Kennedy | President, Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice & Human Rights

Dan Rather | Host, 'Dan Rather Reports'

Muhammad Ali | Boxing Legend

Kumi Naidoo | Executive Director, Greenpeace International

George H. W. Bush | Former President, United States of America

The world certainly did lose one of its greatest influencers today. I mean absolutely no discredit or disrespect to the tragedy behind Paul Walker's recent death [along with Roger Rodas]. I'm making a personal tribute entry now to Nelson Mandela [& really, I'm nobody professionally-notable!] as my commitment of prayer for South Africa & the multitude of people who may consequently be facing tumultuous changes in his absence. I pray for the continuance of his influence in those regions, that the peace & humble but solid stands he took will be remembered and upheld.

Thank you, Nelson.

xo | cmd

Mount Vernon - Remembering Carl & Jena

Today was kind of a hard day to digest.

It's easier now, if you want to put a level of intensity on it all, but definitely not by much. A couple different reasons....

I grew up in a small town. It had every bit of a small town feel to it, especially when it came down to everyone knowing everyone else and nobody having any real sense of privacy. Haha. It wasn't all bad though. We had the chance to grow closer to a smaller group of people and be plugged into things that are oftentimes foreign to the big cities.

clockwise from top left:
martina. emily. courtney. greg. carl. hilari.

A small town can be a blessing and a curse, all wrapped up into one small per capita headcount. By the time I graduated high school, my peers and I had said premature and bitter goodbyes to a handful of our classmates. I know that happens [unfortunately] everywhere, but it doesn't dull the pain when it's your friend, your sibling, classmate.

As it relates specifically to today, I'll just say that 2009 was a rough year.

I'll start with Carl. He was the oldest of six kids in a family everyone in our town knows. The Culbertsons are a staple family back home, and what happened in February rocked all of Mt. Vernon. I graduated with Carl's sister Courtney, and while I didn't know Carl all that well, I knew that his loss would fuel something intense. Carl passed away in February 2009 from an accidental heroin overdose. My mom and sister both worked with their dad, Dave, and so through them and through frequent fb updates, I was able to follow the creation and explosive reach of the Arms of An Angel Foundation, the tribute to Carl's life and educational outreach program.

Today was Carl's birthday. From here back to Ohio, to the Culbertson family: My heart goes out to you as you celebrate his life and everything it meant to you & now means to others (:

*****

As it happens, today will always be a haunting one for the Fogle family back home. This one, for me personally, is severely hard to digest and accept. It's both been "already" and "only" three years all at once and I still fight back that overwhelming emotion every time I think about it.

tribute from 2009

I met Jena in 6th grade, and we made quick with the whole becoming close friends right away. I don't think I need to tell you all the stuff we went through together as friends as we battled the regular teenage angst that comes along with conquering adolescence. Everyone can identify with the fact the each of our friends has something unique that characterizes them; Jena's was her laugh. Her laugh was a stark contrast to her typically quiet demeanor, but good grief was it contagious.

oh, the days | mvhs 1999 | corin. allison. amy. jena

^^ Yeah, I know... I've had issues dressing like a real girl for a long time now.. haha. [Jena used to give me grief about it, too.. well.... at least I'm consistent?] (:

I can't say what the tipping straw was to push Jena to the final breaking point, but it grips me to this day. I talked to Jena on November 12, and had made plans to see her the following weekend. I remember very clearly getting the phone call the very next day that she had been found in her parents' basement after she'd taken her own life. I was at Kim's house when Hilary called and told me it was over. There was no arguing, no negotiating, no begging that could change it. That desperate, paralyzing feeling that hits you in the knees and brings you straight to the floor came over me and I went numb. It was nearly an hour before I could cry, but when I did, I didn't stop for nearly two days. Jena was five months pregnant with little Braylon; my heart still breaks for both of them.

We aren't meant to know the reasons behind why certain things happen. It's heartbreaking to thinking about it sometimes, but I do still find comfort in the absolute rallying power of a small town when things like this happen. I've seen them do it before this and since this, too. 

Jena was fuel for me to join the AFSP: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I began as a field advocate rep for the Greater Cincinnati Area, and still serve remotely in that capacity even from Illinois.  Check it out - it's worth a second, especially if you've been impacted....

Today is for the Culbertson & Fogle families. You have my thoughts, my prayers, and my honest hope that you found PEACE and GOOD memories in today and every day moving forward. 

Carl Culbertson 13Nov1981 - 15Feb2009
Jena Fogle 19Jun1984 - 13Nov2009

:: Gone, but NEVER forgotten. ::

xo | cmd

Remembering : Kat



lovely girl | 7.16.87 - 7.28.05
missing you, kat.

 Okay, so I realize I already posted this particular set of pictures of Kat and me 12 days ago on her birthday, but I had to share it again simply because it's one of the better collaborations, but moreso because today marks the 7th year crapaversary of the accident that changed everyone in her life.

Dear Kat,

Thank you for being you, for being the roommate, friend, and cohort that you were to so many of us while you were here. It really was a blessing to have spent that time getting to know you, laugh with you and share hilarious moments along with the more embarrassing and life-lesson ones. You were one in a million.

Thank you for having a huge heart, and for always putting your family and your friends before yourself. It's rare to find such selfless people in a selfish world, but you were certainly one of them and I will always remember the ways you so thoughtfully showed me that you valued me as a friend to you as well.

For your parents, I can't imagine that their pain has been lessened any by your passing, and I know that this day each year is particularly difficult for them. I can only hope that you're watching diligently over them and that they can find comfort in knowing they will see you again one day.

Beautiful friend, I miss you, and I too look forward to hanging out again when that time comes.

Love, Corin

*sigh. It's a sombering thought to reflect back on life as short as hers. It's a gentle but stern reminder that my time here is never guaranteed, and that love is the one of the only legacies I could hope to leave when my name is called. So dear friends, whether I've told you lately or if we've not spoken for years, please know the footprints you've had in my life are not taken for granted. (:

Live today like it's the best day ever :)

xo | cmd