First World Problems

A few weekends ago, I went to the Towerview retreat with a group of people at the MEBA building over in Fairview Heights. Our pastor’s son Scott had come in to act as lead speaker for the event, and during part of it, used the concept of First World Problems as an example of our common issues with perspective. As I sat with a freshly popped bag of popcorn at my desk, I found that an unusual amount of the kernels hadn’t been transformed. A sense of [very] mild disappointment/frustration started to creep up on me, but immediately I thought back to our discussion on first world problems. My half-empty bag of popped corn became a half-empty bag more than half the world would ever see. I thought I’d take the opportunity to share just a few Third World Problems I ran across between the retreat and now. WARNING: Depending on your individual level of sensitivity to the less-fortunate, and far less-fortunate, some of these might infuriate you. There were some that I wouldn’t even re-post.
Like I said, just a few:

- I took two showers today, but my towel hadn’t dried fully in time for the second shower.
- I’m currently staying with my grandfather, who refuses to buy pre-sliced bread. I now have to slice it myself like some sort of farmer.

- The diamond on my ring scratched the screen on my iPhone.
- We’re all out of liquid soap so I was forced to use an actual bar of soap. I didn’t know they still made those.
- The guy at the register at the store told me they don’t take credit cards. Now I have to withdraw cash. What is this, 1990?
- I broke my smartphone, so now I have to use printed directions like some sort of medieval barbarian.
- The drive-thru people put tomato and onion on my burger after I specifically asked them not to. I might as well forget eating this thing now.
- All of my socks have lost their elasticity.
- My friend invited me to a party on Facebook, but the guest list is hidden.
- The automatic doors at the grocery store don’t open fast enough.
- I needed a pack of gum, but I didn’t have anything smaller than a $20 to pay for it. Now I have a bunch of extra bills and coins that are just taking up space in my wallet.
- My blu-ray player and my dvd player won’t both hook up to my T.V. at the same time. Now I have to change the cables every time. Didn’t they plan for this??
- The motion-sensor lights in the grocery store freezer aisle are broken. I had to open each door like some sort of 17^th century explorer.

And, last but not least, the first world problem that was shared by all the women at the retreat itself:

“The toilet paper dispenser in the big stall doesn’t rotate fully, so I had to turn it myself to avoid the paper from tearing.”

Kinda makes you feel ridiculous, yeah? I know I certainly did this morning, glooming over my pile of unpopped popcorn. Sure, some of those are a little funny to think about, but some of them [and ones I read but aren’t mentioned here] really make me want to slap sense into some people….

Anywho – these kinds of things always give me some fresh perspective. You can never have too much of that. J

Enjoy the Thursday!

xo | cmd