We unfortunately catch wind of tragic stories more frequently than anyone would like. Soldiers making the ultimate sacrifice. Families being forced onto the streets. Children being helplessly juggled between broken households. These are the poignant stories that wallpaper the front pages across the country. We shake our heads. We comment on how "tragic, heartwrenching, and preventable" those situations were. Rarely do we proactively take it upon ourselves to apply the constant reminder of the brevity of "life" to our day-to-day.
Chad Cole is that man I referenced. I've never met him, and I probably never will. He is friends with the husband of a friend with whom I grew up. That's a fair degree of separation. Chad's wife Sarah and their newborn daughter Miranda were taken from him separately but within a span of less than a week. He had just lost his world, his best friend, his child. I have never experienced the pain Chad will endure for a long time to come.
This story has been imbedded on my brain; I think of it daily. I pray that Chad's unwavering faith will continue to be just that. I pray that he won't give in to the temptation to render his heart to bitterness, resentment, hate. I pray for the family and friends that will continue surrounding him, that they will have the courage, strength, and words to support him. I pray that I never let go of the feelings I experience when I replay this in my mind. I've been impacted.
It made me think.
It made me wonder, to a capacity that almost scared me.
No, I'm not afraid of [earthly] death. As wild as that seems, it's fact. Do I want to die? No, absolutely not. I have a family. A husband and daughter whose faces alone melt the core of my heart. My friends. My job. My church. My lifestyle. BUT, am I fearful of the day God calls me home? No. No, I'm not.
But...
I do still wonder, out of sheer curiousity.
If today is that day that I'm beckoned home, and my funeral begins:
- Will people come because they want to, or out of obligation?
- Will my life be celebrated, or will it have been a span of wasted potential?
- Will the generous words spoken be heartfelt, or stoic and expected?
- Will my enemies re-evaluate our circumstance, or just feign regret to appear appropriate?
>>> Did I at least make any proactive effort to rectify the situation[s] that caused our rift in the first place?
- Did I treat you with kindness, or was I snide, disrespectful, and cold?
- Did the love I have in my heart for the God I serve match the actions you saw while I was still one of "us?"
- Will you mourn my husband and daughter losing a wonderful, loving wife and mother, or just that now they are simply without one at all?
- Did I appreciate life and endulge in it, or was I too "busy" to even acknowledge it passing by around me?
- Would you be there, at all?
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Now, looking back at that list, I should pause to say that I don't pose these questions with purpose to elicit compliments, or any brand of sympathy. I don't ask them to substantiate my self-esteem. I'm not conceited. This is not an advance open invite to my funeral. I ask those questions to myself because, after reading a story like that of Chad Cole, my daily frustrations are interrupted by the fact that calamity exists, and I am never exempt. I am not guaranteed the next 30 seconds, let alone the next 30 years. How many times do I find myself planning,
"I should call so-and-so, and I'll absolutely do it tomorrow."
"I screwed up and I know I need to apologize. I'm busy today; they can wait."Meanwhile, I justify that my sin wasn't that bad; they aren't perfect either!
"My husband is gone in the Air Force, my daughter is crying, I've brought work home with me, the house is a mess, the laundry is waiting, and this list of errands is growing, not shrinking. I'm definitely taking a break tomorrow."Am I serious?! - That I have a husband, daughter, and job are blessings enough. My husband is serving our country. I have enough clothes to call them laundry. I have the means to make and fulfill a to-do list. Why do I think I deserve a day off from my life?
"I should reach out to someone I don't know, because I am to be an example of Christian love... But I've only got an hour for my lunch break and I'm hungry with errands to run."The week ends and I've barely even catered to the people close to me.
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Life is short. That's no secret. Decades fly by, usually marked only the major headlines of societal components: politics, fashion, Hollywood, health, and a slew of random anthropological morsels. Rarely do "normal" people like myself make the who's-who of anyone's list. The way I live my life defines the manner in which my memory will sustain with those closest to me. It's my duty as a Christian, as a mother, wife, daughter, and a human being to make sure there's still a little light in a broken world.
If Chad Cole can do it, I can.
.. Just something to think on..
With love and... more love,
.: CMD :.
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P.S. - Here is the original blurb I posted regarding the Cole Family.
P.P.S - This is the link of the initial news release for the Cole family accident.
P.P.P.S - Even more crucial, this is the blog Chad keeps.
Please view all with your utmost respect!
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